Monetizing Loneliness by the Numbers

Stats from December 25, 2020:

Time leaving apartment: 8:45 AM

Time on #1 tee at Foxdale Park 9 AM

Air temperature: 11°F

Wind Chill: -5°F

Distance from pin on #8 after deliberately skipping drive off frozen pond: 30 feet.

Time first logged into Door Dash: 9:38 AM

Number of delivery sessions: 5

Total orders assigned: 30

Total orders accepted: 29

Tip on order declined: 1¢

Total orders cancelled before I arrived to merchant: 1

Total orders arriving at closed location: 0

Total orders from Popeye's near my house where those there realized I was the only one taking the orders: 6

Time that Popeye's closed: 4 PM

Total McDonald's orders: 6

Different McDonald's locations: 4

Total Sarpinos Pizza orders: 3

Total orders from a place that generally serves food based from Asian cultures: 3

Total orders from place at a mall: 3

Times making a purchase for myself while making a pickup: 3

Total orders from a virtual restaurant (which only exists on line and is picked up at a restaurant with a different name): 1

Most expensive order from a sushi place: $190

Least expensive order from CVS: $6

Number of places that looked like they were overwhelmed by number of customers or being short staffed: 1

Times picking up two separate orders from same location: 2

Total locations that customers were eating inside in spite of the governor's order: 2

Number holes played at Clark Park after a delivery was less than five minutes from there: 12

Pickup zones logged into during day: 1

Approximate boundaries of that zone: IL 390, I-294, I-88, I-355

Times on a toll road including pickup from the McDonald's at the I-294 Oasis: 2

Total deliveries: 28

Furthest northern delivery: Mount Prospect (3/4 mile north of Golf Rd)

Furthest southern delivery: Darien (75th st)

Furthest western delivery: Carol Stream (Gary Av)

Furthest eastern delivery: Bellwood (Mannheim Rd)

Deliveries to someone else working on Dec 25: 3

Times delivering to a hotel: 4

Times delivering an order from two different places to the same customer at a hotel: 1

Food deliveries: 27

Food deliveries where customer did not tip: 7

Highest tip: $15

Number of customers who tipped $5 cash as well as $5 on the app: 1

Flags seen in support of the person who came second in the 2020 presidential election: 2

People seen who would go on a "date" (which would have been real tempting as I had enough cash on me to afford to do so but had a delivery to make and she was gone by the time I was heading back): 1

Disc golf courses passed: 3

Hospitals passed: 2

Different gas stations making a purchase after using bathroom: 4

Time last delivery session ended: 12:13 AM 

Time home: 12:18 AM 

Total time logged in: 12 hours, 48 minutes

Total miles driven: 250

Total earnings through app: $231.75

Total cash tip: $5

People seen whose name I knew outside of delivering food: 0

2020 season recap

On a heavy and slippery Round Lake course that had thawed during the day, finished my 2020 tournament season which was unlike any other.:

Even if the points required for Am Worlds was not reduced by 30% due to COVID, tying for 25th out of 51 players in the last event got my to the 500 point mark.

Looking a the 2019 recap, there were four ideas to qualify:

One get better. That seemed most unlikely as eventually age will take its toll but due to physical improvement (other than are issues in late summer caused by hitting a tree on a follow through) and better form, am able to general throw a disc farther and it showed:

Three months, including the last two had a new personal lifetime best rating including a big jump once the rounds at the 2019 Worlds played on a knee that was dislocated the Friday before were removed. On the 2019 chart, had a column for two shots better per round and my 18 point improvement in rating is almost two shots better.

Two was to play large events. COVID caused the spring ones to be cancelled and the only one I could have attended, Ledgestone, was not doable as a coworker needed the time off as his gf was due to deliver a baby.

Three was more MA3 rounds: Except for the IOS (where I lost the series title by three shots) and IL states, that was my plan. A couple of events were changed to MA50 once after I hit the 350 mark. Had I played MA3 all year, would have reached the mark easily.

Four was more league rounds: I did that before COVID at Dellwood in the cold and snow and expect to do the same in 2021.

Due to COVID, all majors were moved to 2021 so the idea of playing in the revamped Masters Worlds near Peoria won't happen until 2022 so I will need to repeat my success to do so.

Math and pizza

Other than attempting to add scores after a frustrating round of disc golf, my math skills are exceptional if not superior. The obvious question of why am I not changing the world with those skills if they exist is a different post.

After a long day moving paper and delivering food, was hungry and did not want to heat something at home. Since there were ten cars in the Wendy's drive through, went to the local Speedway gas station wanting to get a 14" pizza to eat half when I get home and half the following day.

There was disappointment upon realizing the large pizza was not available but the 7" personal one was. The person who makes them told me that they are out of 14" crusts but he would make two 7" ones for the same price as the 14".

After confirming in my mind the area of a circle (or pizza) is π times the radius squared stated that a 7" pizza is a quarter of the area of a 14" one which he denied.

The combative version of me from a decade or more ago would have attempted to explain the math, called him out for trying to rip me off, mentioned that he is working a gas station cafe on a Saturday night, and stated he is why some people should not make $15/hr.

The 55 year old version of me realized confronting him is not worth the effort and that I did not want him to make any food for me so instead of getting a sandwich, turned away and shaking my head walked out.

"I'M SORRY YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND MATH!"

When that person was in preschool, a Subway employee barely 5 feet tall put everything on a sandwich for a hungry man who worked a ten hour day and told him he will like it that way then offered to punch out and deal with him behind the building. That employee was not expecting a sucker kick to the groin as he followed the hungry man out the door.

I paused when I heard his statement. Then again realized best to get food somewhere else. However his statement won't be ignored. While eating Little Caesars (where I ended up after two cars pulled into Popeye's while I was waiting to turn left into the lot), went to Speedway Cafe on line and explained what happened. I did not want a free anything as sometimes items are not available. I did not want that employee punished. I just want someone to explain to him how math works.

Nope

Though I stopped my PS live account six weeks previously, did not stop my Disney Plus account until early July since that is when Hamilton came out. Though I find the concept of the musical questionable, knowing Lin Manuel Miranda created it, gave it a shot.

Two minutes into it, realized it was not for me, went nope, and then cancelled my Disney Plus account.

A couple of people questioned my FB post about it where I replied that the version of me five years ago might have been able to appreciate it.

When someone else mentioned they saw it, I stated my experience which drew an angry response.

I do admit the claim of not letting people enjoy what they enjoy is valid but was chastised for not giving it a chance and not explaining what going nope meant.

I started thinking, what things have I gone nope shortly after watching...

Any presidential news conference (of the current administration)

The first presidential debate

Bill Walton being the color man for a White Sox game.

Any live disc golf coverage especially the USDGC which did their best to get people to pay for it (while having a former multi time champ do commentary though one could tell he is bitter about not being able to hang with the best anymore after taking a 13 on a hole in 2015.)

Disc Golf Pro Tour next day coverage.

The tv show NEXT (Once the "spot the Ian" portion was done)

The Hunger Games

Young Sheldon

All 2020 NHL, NBA, and MLB playoff games (once the Chicago teams were eliminated).

Last Saturday's Illinois/Nebraska football game.

Since the Star Wars Lego Holiday Special was made available last week, renewed my Disney Plus membership and saw that as well as Incredibles 2 which I found better than then reviews made it seem. Also will watch season 2 of the Mandalorian. Will I continue Hamilton? Unlikely. 

COVID-19 state analysis

The map indicates where the top 25 states ranked in Covid-19 positive tests per population and who won the state in the 2020 presidential election as I looked up on worldometers shortly before I created the map on 11/20.

Though the Sturgis motorcycle rally in August did not produce the immediate results that were expected by many, the current situation appears to be a reflection of that. Also ND has a 50% higher rate than all states but SD and IA which shows how severe they are compared to the balance of the country.

As far as state by state, half the states had a majority for each candidate in the 2020 election. Having the top 25 split 19-6 one way is too large a difference to believe it happened by chance.

It would be fair to note that the new England states which had many cases in March/ April and are still 1-4 in deaths per population could be undercounted in total cases as full testing and diagnosis was not available at that time.

The 69 million voter question

As I start to write this, close to 69 million people have chosen to retain the president of the United States in spite of many reasons to not do so.

This leads to question why.

There are some people whom due to their wealth or job would justifiably be better off if the current situation continues. As someone who was anti smoking advertisements until having a job for a place that printed them, I can relate. 

There are people who have been fooled by the ideology presented by the GOP who has made exaggerated claims to convince people they are the ones with the voter in mind.  Catch phrases like socialism, open borders, and they're coming for your guns have been blabbed to scare voters.

There are people who have been fooled by the hard core Christian Evangelist society. They see their leaders with the president, listen to their preacher, and follow what they say. It does not matter that the man they supported used tear gas to clear out the area by a church so he can hold up a Bible upside down and backwards. It does not matter that he likely does not know the four books of the Gospel or that his opponent is a Christian and acts far more like one than him. They are just glad that he will do what he can to prevent unborn babies from getting killed without doing anything for them after they are born.

The last group is those whose preference is based on race. They are fine with refugee families being separated and caged. They are the ones who state if people don't break the law, they don't have to worry about police violence against them. They believe that Black Lives Matter is a terrorist group and that there is an ANTIFA group that does nothing but plan riots. They are the ones who still insist that Barack Obama was born in Kenya and that his wife was actually named Michael and had a sex change.

They are the ones who march in groups and then cry foul when they are outed and their employers decide they don't want them working for them. They are the ones who show up at protests and act like police and when one of them panicks and starts shooting, they are the first to donate to the defense. They are the ones who march with weapons into a state capitol and later plot to kidnap and kill the governor.

They are the ones who gathered outside places where votes are being counted and demanded the counts be either stopped or completed depending on the situation.

Most importantly, these are the people I worry about if the vote ends up Biden 270-268. I could imagine one person or group of people willingly sacrifice their lives to disrupt or change the electoral vote and force it to go to the house.

They are the reason I hope Biden ends up winning GA, PA, or NC as well as NV.

If only politics was the issue...

Many people with whom I associate run on polar opposites of the spectrum. There are those whose belief in a non plausible concept dominate their life including one who has been in service for over a half century and those who can identify with multiple letters used to describe people whose identity and preferences do not conform with standards that were set a long time ago and are no longer necessary to ensure the human race. 

Generally I fall in between either end as my realization of the non plausible concepts of a spiritual deity and eternal salvation puts me at odds with one end while lacking courage to explore opportunities to experience the full spectrum of life (even though I have been told that not having an uvula would provide me with the advantage of no gag reflex) and then shutting myself from them after realizing there is no physical desire to do so.

Having undergone a significant change in my ideals in the second half of my life has also put me in the middle and my learned ideals still occasionally come to the front even though the current version of me knows it is wrong.

Many of my ideas could offend bother sides of the spectrum and occasionally releasing them to public has done that.

What I publish and what I believe are significantly different. There are things that I want to slap myself for thinking. A former coworker who knows my filter is skewed has correctly guessed that there are things that I have realized would do nothing but upset people and I have learned to keep them under wraps.

Anyway, my sister made a post listing the political parties of two of my uncles and stated that in spite of their political differences that you can disagree and still love and care for one another and share a beer together.

Maybe in the 1970s when topics like inflation, unemployment, and the Soviet Union were the arguing points, yes.

After initially posting a picture explaining things then deleted to avoid an argument, my reply was "If only politics was the issue..." My sister sent angry text messages to me about that reply and I initially thought it was the picture I initially posted then deleted. It was the words. Realizing she was bowling in a league at the time and knowing how pissed I was when I got a text from her husband with two holes remaining in a tournament where I was battling for a title, I changed the wording to her satisfaction. :P

Today, no. The issue has no longer become one of politics. It has become one of respecting human rights, of ensuring that the human race will have a viable place to live in 50 or even 25 years (long after I expect to die). It has become an issue of a small group of radicals attempting to overthrow the checks and balances established on the US Constitution and turning the United States into the Christian version of the Sharia Law countries they claim the other side wants to establish even though the person running for president is more of a Christian.

I do feel proud that when my other sister who is as ignorant as my Michigan cousins posted a picture, I replied with an appropriate line Joe Biden said in a commercial aired during a Chicago Bears game immediately after it aired as a reply which she liked.

When thinking about it, since one of those running for president has not been a politician the majority of their adult life, it by definition is NOT about politics in the first place anyway.

Going aginst long time desires

There are many reasons to find Joe Biden to not be the ideal person to be the president.

Age.

Knowing that some businesses would have not donated had a progressive candidate been the nominee.

His family's dealings.

His actions around other people. (There is a reason someone created a parody titled "I Sniffed a Girl".)

He believes in the non plausible concept of Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior.

His VP choice and knowing what happened with Obama (and is still happening) wondering what would happen if she would need to take office. The US is currently in its longest streak without having a VP take over and especially considering Biden's age, his VP choice is important.

There are other reasons I have seen multiple people post over the past couple of months. Some are true while others are not.

However, I find one overwhelming reason to want Joe Biden to win the upcoming election:

He is NOT Donald Trump

I do not like the idea rooting for the lesser of two evils but this case is one obvious exception. Even without including the estimated 300,000 additional people who have died this year much of which can be directly attributed to the way the country has dealt with the pandemic, many actions and decisions which infringe on human rights and hurt the country and environment while boosting corporate profits (while gathered around those who have profitted from babbling about the non plausible concepts of Jesus Christ and eternal salvation) make him undesirable for four more years.

Though I was advised against joining the armed reserves, I could not imagine how any veteran could support someone who uses the word sucker to describe the choice to serve or loser to those who lost their lives in service.

Some might suggest an alternative candidate. Even if one of them would provide all the ideas that I would like to see (and from what I have seen, that is not the case), it is obvious that any vote towards one would be wasted.

Yes, if all those who prefer an alternate candidate would cast their vote that way, it could make a difference but right now, that idea would do way more harm than good.

Being an Illinois resident, my vote for president won't make a difference though there are other things on the ballot that will. I am hoping those in the states that will decide the presidential election (due to the antiqued way of determining the winner) will cast their ballot for the least worst of the two who have a legitimate chance to win.

Tree Fiddy

After the PDGA stated points requirements for 2021 worlds events will be reduced to 70% due to COVID, I realized my requirement is now 350.

I generally say that number the same way Chef's father said it in an old South Park episode even though it meant $3.50.

As I dropped in a birdie on the final hole of the event on a cold, rainy October 19th at 50 Acre Park drained to the point where throws were going 20% shorter, would have declined to be in a playoff, and realized that the right arm was done, I reached that goal. This is how it happened:

Other than the Illinois State Championship where due to the luck of the draw I threw the first shot and the Illinois Open Series where I missed winning the MA50+ series title by three shots, I registered for the division based on ability as opposed to age since there were more opponents and opportunity to gain points. I also realized that playing some Sunday league rounds will be necessary as well.

I was criticized for doing both of them and for not playing in an unrated club. Due to arm fatigue/pain and the need to make money delivering food, I had to select when and where to play. That included not playing in two events I played last year both of which had novice players lumped into the division I would play.

Except for the round I played one year to the date I got divorced (and will likely make an annual event), every time since that announcement that I drove more than 15 minutes from where I was (home or on delivery) to play disc golf was either a rated club round, a tournament, or to practice for an upcoming tournament.

Had I played in the unrated club instead of a rated league and joined age specific divisions for every event, I would have likely not been able to qualify as my arm would have given out earlier.

Unless there is a significant change on my financial situation, will not be playing at the world's in Orlando focusing on points for the 2022 Masters world's in Peoria.

Though I want another shot at the world's after what happened in 2019, the main reason I wanted to qualify is to have a choice.

As I finished this post the day after physically exhausted and in pain, I realized it is best to give the body and especially the dead right arm much needed rest now since I want to earn points in league play in January.

White A player

For my second round last Sunday, this is how the 18 holes played to me:

4 mid range par 4

3 driver par 3

2 full approach par 3

9 trap par 3

What I mean by a trap hole is that a good drive will leave a player between 50 and 100 feet requiring a less than full approach to get par but to get closer will require extra which can cause an off line shot leading to bogey.

Though I knew better, twice I tried to get extra on a trap hole. Once I got away with it after needing close to the 3 minutes allowed to find a disc. The other time ended up with a double bogey and a bloody leg due to thorns.

The other players in my group had the same issue. Six times our foursome ended up with all 3s.

For disc golf that is boring as holes that can produce a 2,3, or 4 equally are the good ones. The disc golf pro tour a few years ago realized that ladies playing the men's tees create a whole lot of trap holes and will have them play different tees, baskets, or in some cases, completely different holes from the men. A couple of them per round is fine but half a course is not.

What constitutes a trap hole varies by player. A good hole for a player of my ability is not one for a pro and vice versa.

Dellwood Canyons is one of the top rated courses in the world and the staff there are consistently improving the course. They recently announced a new long tee and basket for #11 which makes that a longer and narrower hole than the initial one.

As a reply, I expressed a desire to appreciate the full course and improvements as I lack the ability to do so. Though I can play the full version, it would be a waste of my time.

Most holes there now have a blue tee that is longer than the white one along with a B pin which can add distance as well and in some cases, it makes many holes a trap for me.

For example #3 from the white to A pin: Throw a drive right of the tree in the middle and left of the pavilion. Find a path through trees and a light pole on shot two to get a putt for a birdie 3.

#3 from blue to B pin: Throw driver trying to miss trees and keep it in bounds. Throw another driver up the hill trying to miss trees. Throw a third driver towards the basket to give myself a putt for a par 4.

For one hole that is ok. Doing that for 18 turns into a grind. For a pro, the full course is a good challenge. For me white tees to A pins is one for me.

Experiencing desires

While trudging through life, it becomes easy to plan what would happen in certain situations and how things would get better.

For years I would think about enjoying the three bereavement days when my father would pass and what I would do with them since the desire would be to go to work the next day after and when asked how my father is doing say "dead". Unfortunately my body prevented me from doing that and the bereavement time was spent at home with pneumonia and I literally had to work the morning of his funeral since I had burned up all time off being sick. At least when I managed to force myself to play D&D the Sunday I got sick was able to answer dead to one person.

For years I had a plan on what to do if I am ever called into the office at work and told I am not needed. When I was furloughed was going to lose weight and build up strength etc. I realized that in the 2+ weeks I was gone the overwhelming number of movies I watched as well as the time spent playing video games was enormous.

Having gained confidence with talking to women was expecting the same after officially becoming single. For some reason, it disappeared and after a year realized that of the 29 alive people whom had the same grandmother as me (from either side or both) 27 are currently married (though some on #2 and one on #3) and the only other single person is mentally deficient.

When I tell people I know my ex-wife is stupid because she married me, that is not specifically an insult to her. Though instincts and functionality still exist, memories of who I am confirm that acting on any desire would be a horrible idea.

Seven hundred fifty dollars

Recent tax returns made by Donald Trump have become public and unlike previous presidents (or Joe Biden who is running against him) who have paid thousands of dollars or even over one million dollars, the most Trump has paid in any year of the past 15 was $750.

For what it is worth, a two income family that earned just over $50k pay $750 and Trump's net worth is estimated at 2.5 billion.

To me, there are three ways he would only need to pay that:

1) The tax code allowed it. As someone who changed where he stopped for morning work supplies because a city increased their sales tax by one percent, I can understand anyone wanting to pay less.

If anyone can have that much money and can only pay so little, that is a problem with the tax code that should be fixed. Someone who takes advantage of that has zero incentive to change it.

2) Fraudulent return. No doubt someone will be scrutinizing the details of the returns and if something illegal was done, hoping it will be audited and repaid with interest.

3) He has lost money. As income is subject to tax, it is possible someone who has lost enough can write off losses to the point where no taxes would be assessed. That to me could be the worst case.

First off, Trump has claimed business expertise was his forte and why would someone who failed so badly in the real world be suitable to run the country?

Also, has his financial situation effected how he runs the country? Are the trips to golf at his resort a way to generate income? Are policies made just to placate his creditors be it corporations or countries?

There are many who support Trump because he hurts those that are not cis white men by incarceration, medical sterilization, and removing laws that protect their lives or livelihoods, while supporting those who choose to intimidate and harm non cis white men.

I wished they would ignore that and realize what he is doing.

Spotting while sidelined

Due to elbow/arm issues, decided to not register for any of the five events being held last weekend and instead helped at the event I played last year.

Unlike those at tournament central or the person who moved over a dozen baskets between rounds, I was stationed on #11 all day arriving at 745 in the morning where I could see my breath in the mist and leaving at 445 wearing shorts and one shirt.

A spotter was needed due to eight foot high weeds players need to throw over for these reasons:

To let players know the hole is clear.

To let players know if their drive is in bounds and help them locate their shots.

To warn players at the 7th tee when discs are heading their way which I had to do about ten times total.

Other than checking on FB and the NFL games, kept stats this for round one in the shorter position with OB short, left, and long:

MA3 players: 24 OB 4 (4 short) 1 approach

MA2 players: 24 OB 4 (2 short 2 left) 1 approach

MA1 players: 20 OB 3 (1 left 1 long 1 short)

Total pro players: 23 OB 1 (1 left)

Pro players by definition are those who can earn money as prizes as opposed to credit or merchandise.

For round two, the basket was in a longer position not even on the regular map and the cross sidewalk that was OB for round one was in play for round two:

Those OB:

Rec 3 short 1 conceded (the player chose to throw disc five feet instead of trying to make landing zone not wanting to lose his disc as opposed to his brother who tried to reach it and lost the disc)

Int (1 short)

Adv (2 short)

Pro (2 left 1 short)

The short shots from the advanced and divisions were low into the weeds.

Babbling about conformity

Had to explain once again that those with whom I work are generally those I try to avoid outside of it. To be honest, not sure why but seeing coworkers in a different setting becomes uncomfortable.

People who seem happy generally inspire me to bring them down while those unhappy cause me to cheer them up. 

Sometimes my desire for isolation makes it easy for others to annoy me. I loathe the phrase "good morning" at work. To me the good mornings are those where I don't have to work since for a morning to be good, there have to be ones that are not.

My fun part of disc golf is figuring out days before what I will do with the expected wind and afterwards recording birdies and analyzing what happened but for me the best part of it is from the time I leave my apartment until the event actually starts.

I have been asked when was the last time I was truly happy. July 22, 2019 and then explain that four days later the only reason I did not chug a bottle of pain pills was being too exhausted and too sore to get out of bed to reach them.

Been asked why I am so intense in life and that I should smile more. I then try to hold back the anger and the explanation of how I was sexually abused by a teacher who wanted all her students to be happy.

Been told to relax and I state Feb 17, 2034 and then explain why I believe that is the day I expect to die and that if I surpass it, then just like in November 1990 when my fear of death allowed me to cheat it, will figure out what to do next.

I ask coworkers how their job is going out of courtesy and to know if there is something happening that might affect me. They ask how I am doing and my instinct is to answer that question which lately has been PAIN. 

I recently wanted to so badly drive a mile out of my way to say hi and give a surprise hug to someone who needs it as much as I do thinking it would help both of us but know the reaction would likely be yelling or a slap in the face as opposed to the needed release of the stress from the last six months of pandemic based precautions.

Plopping in front of the TV with pizza, Mountain Dew, and weed will not make me feel better. It will just make me fatter and annoyed while suffering through a THC migraine.

As I have stated, I think ... unlike others. Had to realize that someone buying me an unnecessary $30 item is something that should be appreciated though it deserves ridicule. Had to come up with a plan to placate the buyer who noticed my honest reaction.

Trying to fit in is draining. I am sick of explaining my superior logic to those who admit it but then ignore thoughts from it. My alarm for work rings in six hours and I need to try to sleep.

Six percent

Recently the CDC stated that six percent of the COVID-19 deaths in the US are exclusively from the disease only while other factors have contributed to the rest.

Some people have twisted that statistic to claim that far fewer people have died from COVID-19 than reported including those that can't accurately multiply 188,000 (Sep 1) by .06.

Other factors have included heart disease/hypertension which affects 48 percent of those in the US, obesity which affects 40 percent of those in the US, smoking which consist 13 percent of adults in the US, and diabetes which affects 10 percent of those in the US.

People with COVID-19 have also developed pneumonia, blood clots, and heart disease which contributed to their deaths but are not listed as COVID-19 only.

According to the CDC, the most recent report of total deaths in the US from ALL CAUSES in 2018 and 2019 is about 920 per 100,000 people in Q1, 836 in Q2 and 810 in Q3. (Q3 for 2019 is the most recent one where data is available.)

The data for 2020 won't be known until next year. Once those are released, the true toll from COVID-19 won't be realized.

Up in flames

After the video of George Floyd became public, a tipping point was reached and some people were no longer satisfied with protests or marches. After a few people decided to break windows, many joined either seeking reparations or just "free stuff" believing that is why businesses have insurance.

However, many businesses won't rebuild either not wanting to or not having enough insurance and no doubt the rates will go up as the risk has now increased since people have now decided that when a person is wronged by police, the only way their anger will be understood is by destroying and stealing.

At least the professional athletes that chose to not play are not destroying property but are just hurting the feelings of many ignorant people.

I live in an apartment building that is 3/4 miles west of the edge of a runway at O'Hare Airport. On one side of the building ground floor is an insurance agent and a couple shops.

I realized today that if an officer injured or killed someone in error, my building would be at risk for looting and arson. 

More force is not the answer. Threatening to shoot looters is not the answer. The only viable solution that I see is to hold all lives responsible for their actions.

Toughing it out

In February, 2018, Attorney General Jeff Sessions while addressing the opoid epedemic suggested that people should take aspirin and tough it out. I realized that is what my father did for decades and that would explain why there was always a bottle of Excedrin in my parents' bedroom.

I also realized that this "Republican method of pain management" was detrimental to my father. Even though the aspirin helped the pain, the fact that it further thins someone with thin blood and overactive white blood cells (which is why there was an issue in the first place) did more harm than good.

I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis in 2014 and had been taking medication which though initially created for chemotherapy, is now also used to slow white blood cells. When COVID-19 became an issue, I decided to stop taking this medication since it leaves me immune compromised (and have on a couple occasions ended up real sick) and did not want to increase my chances of dying or ending up with permanent damage from a virus that has no vaccine or cure.

There have been moments where it became difficult to function properly since the pain medication I take is something I do not feel comfortable being on while driving a 6 ton fork truck and the over the counter items create digestive issues.

Last Saturday after practicing, I was at my mom's house and after sitting on a couch for a half hour, I could barely walk. Unlike the previous decades where I would hear phrases like "stop faking", "you're just out of shape", "this is funny", or as said by a doctor in 1991 "man up", there was actual concern. I realized I was in no shape to deliver food as well.

The Monday after, had the same problem after driving a fork truck and realized that I am approaching the point where being able to function is a concern. That evening, for the first time in 5 1/2 months, I took my arthritis medication. The following day, the static pain is less though I am not sure is that is from the medicine as it takes multiple doses for the full effect to be realized.

I also noticed there were three doses left and I need to get more through the mail... crap. At least I can get it refilled at my pharmacy.

IRL experience

Had a pickup at Twin Peaks today. Their slogan is eats, drinks, scenic views.

One manager was explaining to the staff (all less than half my age) how pickups work and there were "ten peaks" to view. I realized that it had been a while since I have noticed anyone like that without looking at a screen and it felt weird.

The fact that they were so significantly younger than me, it really did not create the same reaction that the franchise tries to do.

I wanted to compliment them on their appearance but realized it could not be done without making it weird. The last time I was at that franchise years ago, the staff seemed normal but not today.

It seemed as awkward as my experience last summer involving cash for companionship when I was asking permission to do anything rather than reacting instinctively.

Makes me glad I am not longer interested.

Multi discing

Occasionally when playing or babbling about disc golf will encounter someone who does not understand why I use multiple discs ranging from those curious to one person who could not understand why I would not let his son keep one of my discs that he took from the middle of a fairway. ( I needed to threaten to call the police before he gave it back.)

Last weekend was a great example. I played a tournament on two different days on two different layouts at the same location the second day was windier than the first. For the event, 19 holes were used in each round.

For the championship layout that was used for round one, I used 13 different discs for my first shot. 14 times I needed a fairway shot designed to advance the disc and used 10 different discs for that and used 5 discs 13 times for an approach shot. 18 total discs were used.

Since the second layout was easier and the wind was up, there were a couple discs I took out of the bag and replaced with ones designed for higher winds. Since many holes on the easier course are less than a full shot, I used 14 different discs (including my putter) to tee off on a hole. There was only one time I needed a fairway shot and used 5 discs for the nine approach shots and those shots used a disc that was also used off the tee so there were 14 total used including three that were not used for round one..

Between both days, I used 21 different discs for the event.

Turning the tables

When I bowled in the early 1990s, was among the top ten percent in average (about 190) while being one of the youngest in the league.

A couple of times I had a game in the 220s thinking it was good enough to win a handicap pot only to lose to an "old man" who averages 150 and feeling better than normal shot a 200 game.

There is a handicap league I play in disc golf. The person who runs it is a high end elite pro in his late 20s who has played high end events.

Similar to bowling leagues, this league favors high end players due to the maximum adjustments that can be made on both ends.

As I write this, the rating of the top player is 141 points better than me which means on an average course on an average day for him and I, he would beat me by 14 shots. In the league the handicaps range from +4 to -6 so the most shots I could have against him for handicap would be ten.

I realized last year the only real chance to win in the league was in my second event of the season making sure my first event was on a difficult course where shooting 6 over (league maximum) or worse would not be considered sandbagging then playing the second round on an easier course.

Last year, I lost a playoff for second place in my second event after my body stiffened after waiting for results.

The first league round this year caused havoc on my body due to three long breaks and I was defaulted to +6 even though I shot +13. Had I shot what was expected, I would have finished +7 so my handicap would have been the max anyway.

For my second league round was the first player to arrive at the course an hour before necessary and that time was used to relax, practice, and get loose. While cards were handed out, I was away from the others keeping loose as opposed to those sitting and or enjoying a product made legal in Illinois in 2020.

My first shot had a lot on it and multiple times in the round realized that in five years of playing that course had my longest drive on a hole even having birdie putts on two holes I never had one before.

My putting was not great and my only birdies of the round were on three of the five holes I can regularly get but my long accurate  drives made approach shots seem easy and par on difficult holes for me stress free.

Finally was able to make two decent putts at the end to equal my personal best on that course (52) and as scores were tabulated, kept loose in case there was a playoff.

The top pro (who the day before on a 19 hole course I try to shoot 60 shot 42) was 11 under 43 and with handicaps, I beat him by one. I still tied for first and was in a playoff with someone who stood around.

My drive on the hole ended up ten feet away while his went 35 past. His putt just missed and I made mine to win.

Since my handicap now drops to -2, I would now need to shoot a career best round to win or even cash for the rest of the year unless I get an ace.

0 for 31

Since NASCAR decided to join the 21st century and ban the display a flag from a defeated uprising which was created to promote enslaving other human beings, a part time driver in the NASCAR truck series decided to retire.

People have joked about the fact that he has not won a race in 31 tries but that joke falls flat and this is why:

First of all, any part time driver in NASCAR competes at a significant disadvantage due to funds and teamwork. The top drivers also have the top teams and are often part of a group of cars which by sharing the same owner can share knowledge and information about the best way to set up their vehicle for the track based on conditions. In many of his 31 failed attempts, he was unable to even qualify for the race itself and no doubt the car was as much as factor as anything.

Also, most races have 40 entries so any driver not winning happens 39 out of 40 times or .975. For 31 failed attempts of winning, the mathematical odds of that happening are 6/5 so if someone rolls 31 D20 dice and flips a coin on the ones, 5 times out of 11, there will not be a one followed by a head.

FYI: In the 2019 NASCAR Cup Series, 33 drivers raced at least 32 times and 21 on them failed to win.

Now if you really want to comment on a bad NASCAR driver that failed to win a race, I have one to show. How about 252 events in NASCAR without a win and all but one driving for a top team? The chance of that happening are .975 to the 61st power for the Xfinity Series and .977 to the 191st power for the Cup series.

The odds of that happening are 400-1. For comparison, the odds of the Chicago Cubs going from 1909 through 2015 without winning the World Series was 238-1.

Who is the failed driver? Danica Patrick.

Granted she did win a race in Indy car in 116 attempts all for a top team where being lighter was an advantage unlike NASCAR where the weight requirement includes the driver.

The retiring truck series driver needs to be mocked for his ignorance but not his record.

Pain over fear

My phone rings:

Nurse: I'm making a follow up call on how you are doing with your recent eye infection.

Me: Though I was tempted to sell the azithromycin to someone stupid enough to take medical advice from President Trump, I took it and it was better a few days later.

N: Any other issues?

M: Medical, no. Just am in a lot of pain.

N: Where?

M: Everywhere.

N: What do you mean everywhere?

M: Right toe, both knees, left hip, back, right shoulder, right elbow, both hands. Just about everywhere.

N: Did you fall? What happened?

M: I decided to not take my arthritis medication since it leaves me immune compromised and would rather live in pain than fear.

N: Did you talk to your rheumatologist about this?

M: No. I did not talk to Dr. ***

N: Ok. Thank you

A half hour later the phone rings.

Doctor: Why did you stop taking your medication?

M: Explains same thing I did to the nurse.

D: You should keep taking it.

M: Since I am working, I don't feel comfortable being immune compromised.

D: You are still working? What do you do?

M: *Explains what I do and mentions note given to me by director of operations*

D: You should not be working. I will send you a note to give to your boss. I want you to take your medication even if that means you have to be sheltered at home.

M: ok

At least unlike the other doctor notes I have been given allowing me to stay home from work that I have ignored, this one does not waste any paper.

I realized my error was initially telling the nurse that I am in a lot of pain.

Getting out of bed

As I try to function through the day in pain am occasionally asked why I don't seek disability. My reply is that my alarm rings before the sun rises now so I can play tournament disc golf. To be fair, my reply five years ago was different but disc golf is my priority today.

Though it was expected, sanctioned tournament events have been suspended until the medical situation that many uninformed and ignorant people dispute or ignore.

People across the country heading en masse to a beach, a bar, or a restaurant in spite of warnings and guidelines established by medical experts validated by both political parties (after one initially refused to do so) act a child that refuses to listen to a parent.

Generally when that happens to a child, a parent will reply with harsher guidelines and if the pattern continues, the child is given a time out or grounded.

San Francisco is currently under a three week lockdown. Illinois currently has a ban on dine in food and bars. My co-workers who are unable to work from home along with people I know wondered why my company chooses to keep working.

I realized that it is possible that the government will shut down all non essential work. The longer my company is closed could increase the possibility that it would not reopen and unsure about if I would need to use paid time off, won't use any until I must.

So even though I have no clear idea when my next event would be (Apr 18, May 3, May 16-17) I still need to set my alarm and get to work in the morning as long as I am allowed to do so.

Thoughts of an immunocompromised man

The United States created an organization to monitor medical issues worldwide and when necessary prepare the country for medical issues that may occur.

As others have posted, there have been illnesses before but in part to this organization, the effect on the US has been minimal.

This department was disbanded in 2018 as part of the cuts made to government programs.

That means when people started getting sick in China and then Italy as well as other places, there was no team available to procure testing kits or develop plans to contain and treat those who get sick or come into the country.

Unfortunately, COVID-19 is not just a cold or the regular flu and when it hit this unprepared country, there was panic. Because we do not have enough testing kits, we have no idea how many are infected and we might never know for sure.

There are a finite number of hospital beds and equipment to treat the sick and right now, extreme measures are being taken to try to prevent them from being overcrowded forcing doctors to have to choose which people would get the necessary treatment to survive and which ones to be allowed to die. (That situation has happened in Italy.)

The biggest reaction made by the current administration was to give bankers a huge sum of money in a failed attempt to prevent the stock market from falling due to the econimical impact this virus has created. Many have stated how that same money could have been used to help the people of the country one swore to serve and protect.

Please remember this in November.

Self quarantine

After hearing that a US Senator whose views I strongly oppose has been required to self quarantine due to potential exposure to the COVIN-19 virus, I started wondering what would happen to me in that situation if I got a notice today.

First off, I would stop at the grocery store or make arrangements to get delivered enough Coke Zero to avoid withdrawal as well as enough food. I would also try to find a way to borrow a treadmill and make arrangements to use two weeks of my vacation time and with no major plans in 2020, it would not be the worst thing to happen.

I would miss a tournament but it being on a course that exposes my two biggest weaknesses (distance and forehand), with one player who would be expected to be ten shots better than me for a 28 (yes, 28) hole round and three others who would be expected to be 15 or more worse than me (whom I have a 40% chance of playing with in round two). If I had to choose a planned event to miss, this would be on top.

Between gaming, streaming, and my putting basket, I might be able to find a way to occupy much of my time during this potentially losing 5 pounds while being physically in less pain and having a new desire to be back at work when done.

However, that would also mean that either my daughter or I would be exposed to a virus that with my immune suppression medication could be deadly. Since both of us deal with the public while earning money, this situation is plausible.

Hopefully, this plan of action won't be necessary.

Points per dollar

An elite MA55+ player has told me multiple times that the best way to gain a lot of points is to play the large events with a lot of players.

That philosophy does make sense but for a player like me, it does not work.

Though points per player/position are either 6 for an A tier (Bowling Green or Ledgestone) or 9 for a major (US Masters 2020 in Missouri), points earned at an event depends on the number of players who did not do better.

In large events, there are multiple elite players and though an elite player can do better than most of the field, one of my ability won't.

In those events, my rating is only better than 3-6 players out of the 30 which yields less than 50 points and since attending would require a minimum three night hotel stay, the value would be bad.

In the 2018 US Masters, I was able to stay at my sister's house and playing on courses I was familiar, finished with the two best rounds of my life gaining me the points that allowed me to qualify for the 2019 worlds.

As per my analysis last December, league play has been instituted to try to get to 500. There are two different clubs that play at the same time and due to a large ace pot, was playing in both but starting this weekend, only playing the one that provides points.

I realized that other than getting an ace, I can only come out ahead financially in the course club is by shooting a lifetime best round. Hoping those there will understand. If not too bad.

missing an anniversary

Listening to a Derek Rose interview on Chicago sports radio, I remembered this:

Dec 5, 2009.

I was watching the Chicago Blackhawks play the Pittsburgh Penguins with increased interest. During the second period, I was asked why I am not watching the Chicago Bulls host the Toronto Raptors and this is how the conversation went (my words first and every other time):

"The Blackhawks have a good chance to win the Western Conference and are playing the defending Stanley Cup champions. This can be a finals preview."

"Why are you not watching the Bulls game during commercials?"

"I don't want to miss anything right now. The Bulls are not even a .500 ball club and right now have no interest for me."

"You are not watching them because you are racist."

"If the Bulls had a good chance to make the finals and the Blackhawks were struggling, I would be watching the Bulls."

"That's wrong. You could watch both games and could switch right now during commercial. You're just being racist."

"Fine. I'll put on the fucking basketball game "*changes channel* "THE BULLS ARE DOWN THIRTY!" *changes channel back*. "HAPPY?"

The Blackhawks won the game 2-1 in OT and that summer won their first Stanley Cup title in almost 50 years. The Bulls lost their game 110-78 falling to 7-13. They did make the playoffs as an 8 seed and lost in the first round.