Monday, August 29, 2016

19 in a row

Yesterday finished an amazing weekend of comedy music less than 5 miles from my house known as FuMPFeST 2016. A post about those at the event is soon.

One unique thing about the event is that there are two fan based activities there. One is a video contest. I had an idea for a video this year but lost the nerve to do anything to try to make one.

Last year, someone else had even a better idea that would have involved my daughter and I but due to logistics, that never happened.

When I watched the entries, I was thinking about watching one I would have made and get the same nerves that make me purposely not listen to anything that was recorded of me.

The other one is called "Dumb parody ideas". This is an event where ANYONE there could do a parody in front of people. I have done many in my head over the years but last year lacked the courage to go on stage.

In the 14 months between the events, I analyzed and rehearsed what I would say for both parodies and simplified it so listeners would not get lost in the details.

When it was time for entries, I could not get myself off the chair as I watched others. It was entertaining to watch and I decided to justify me not going up there but to be honest, I put in too much time and effort in my head to have let it go to waste but I did.

On Saturday, Tim Cavanagh, who had a song on the first Dr. Demento Show I heard, had no singing voice due to a cold and asked someone to help sing 99 Dead Baboons on stage with him. I froze and watched someone else did and then talk about the amazing experience he had.

After hearing a song that made one of my excuses not to do my parody void, the con was soon over marking the 19th comedy music filled con in 16 years which I did not speak into the microphone on the main stage not in costume.

Since I do not want to keep the words in my head another 10-12 months, here is what I would have said:for the second parody:

After stating to a coworker that the song God Bless America is a prayer, it was suggested that I ignore the lyrics and focus on the music.

The next time I saw him, to the tune of God Bless America I sang a song from the point of view of serial killer John Wayne Gacy.

Though he was focused on my lyrics, I wanted more than a template to anger people whenever someone goes on a killing spree and thanks to a book about people like me which has a letter B is missing from the title, I came up with this:

Godless America, land that I want.
We'll stand beside her and guide her through the night with no light from above.
From the mountains, to the prairies, to the oceans, white with foam.
Godless America. My hope, sweet hope.
Godless America. My hope, sweet hope.

I also imagined someone asking about the Gacy one

Teenagers in Des Plaines, all have to die.
So I'll lure them, to my clutches, strangle them, hide them under the floor.

I would then state that was all I need to prove a point and that phrases like "School kids in Sandy Hook" , "Aurora Batman fans" , or "Random folks near Cleveland" could easily fit in the first verse.

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Making the last shot

I always want to make my last shot whatever I did just in case it becomes that. In high school I stated that to others and it was used to make things difficult for me.

Often in disc golf tournaments there is time to chat waiting to play. The question of aces often comes up and I state none to the surprise of those in the group. My lack of distance is definitely a factor in that.

This year I found out about a short course in which 6 of the 9 are easily reachable for me and two others can be reached with a good shot. I decided to make it a mission to get an ace in 2016.

I also decided to play in leagues to get more game experience. In April, while waiting for things to start, saw someone ace the short #1. In the doubles event he was my partner and on #1, I had an ace run where it came close. Later my elbow popped delaying my return to full tournament action.

Memorial Day weekend, I worked a tournament and a pro suggested I learn to use mid-range discs and going back to the short course hit the top of #4 on what ends up being days there with many ace runs.

Late June played an event and though I had my best score, did not come close to an ace. There were two aces at that event there both on a hole near where I was.

Played a doubles event two weeks later and a person in the other team in my foursome got his 59th lifetime ace. Having had an ace run skip off chains a couple days previous made me more determined and confident it will be when and not if.

Had a couple other runs seeing discs go under and around buckets but not going in and my focus went to an IOS event in an effort to finally cash for the first time in ten events.

Had an ace run in practice but did not come close in the event. I managed to be in a four way time for the last spot winning $3.50.

Next week had a disc clank off the front of the bucket while having many close calls after adding a couple mid-range discs to my bag which I got after helping someone move.

Last Sunday I went back to introduce a four year old to the game. I played two nine hole rounds tying my best score of 21 on the second one. The kid was interested in riding a trike and exploring a playground before playing disc golf.

An hour later we made it to #1 and on my release heard multiple pops in my elbow. It felt OK after but I knew it would be my last day for a while. At the end, threw multiple discs wanting to get an ace in front of them and landed another one under the bucket.

After more trike time and dinner went back. First round was OK and the second round started OK making a 18 foot birdie putt on one and a 15 foot par putt on two after a bad pull on a drive which happens when my elbow has issues.

The putter stayed hot and after a full shot on 8, made the birdie putt and a perfect full shot on 9, make the 20 foot putt to a bucket on a pole 6 feet off the ground finishing with 7 straight birdies for a score of 8 under 19.

The next day my elbow and legs were sore and after two poor nights of sleep, the pain is so intense I knew it was time to bring my disc bag inside and put it in the closet.

I will go back to that place on my way to a future game night with a Sharpie and instead of writing a name and date of an ace on the pole for the hole, inscribe on the pole supporting the course layout:

At least I made the last shot.

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Ending the summer on a high note (Sunday)

My assessment of FuMPFeST Sunday:

Dementia water aerobics: B:

FuMP showcase: B+: Other artists who don't have a mainstage show can perform and knowing who doesn't have a spot, it should be entertaining and possibly weird.

Zach and the Pathetic Men: I: Another group I might watch.

Dementia Smackdown Wrestling: B: Though fun to watch, it isn't the same in the afternoon but the late night show has become too difficult now to do well.

Carrie Dahlby: B: Without any recent new material of her own I expect many others to join her on stage.

Tom Smith: A-: Another artist I see much less often than I used to.

Closing ceremonies: It will be difficult to see things end as it always is.

Ending the summer on a high note (Saturday)

Saturday FuMPFeST lineup:

Dementia water aerobics: B: I love the idea and wished my body would allow me to participate.

State of the FuMP: B: The only true panel of the con and the only necessary one where Devo Spice and others talk about their plans for the site which is almost ten years old.

Dino-Mike: A-: It will be nice to see him do an hour set as my daughter did not see him at Marscon and after hanging out with him during the Marscon parties wants to see his show.

The Library Bards: I: I do not know much about them. If I am up to it will watch.

Before they were now: A: I love the idea of people doing songs as a previous act.

MEGATHRUSTER: B-: I know and like a couple of their songs. Definitely the FuMPFeST act with the least time as an artist together.

Paul and Storm Q & A: A-: The guests of honor talk and answer questions. Duh.

2D6: I: Another group with material I am not familiar. Will watch if up to it.

Tim Cavanagh: B: If not needing food badly, will watch his perform songs I have known for three plus decades as well as songs from his new CD.

Live podcasts: B: Those who do podcasts will record them live: I might get called.

FuMPFeST guest of honor Paul and Storm: A+: The last time they performed in front of this crowd, it was memorable and expect it to be that way again.

Movie time: C: I like the idea but doubt I will be up for it after a long day.

Ending the summer on a high note (Friday)

Next Friday starts the three day event FuMPFeST 2016 at the Elk Grove Village Holiday Inn on route 83 and Landmeier Rd.

Here is my assessment including thinking of my daughter and nephew (who will be attending and seeing everyone there for the first time) of the many music performances and other events there in chronological order.

Opening ceremonies: B+: I wanted to create a video for the contest but it is probably best that I didn't knowing what I would have done.

Devo Spice: A-: The host and organizer leads a Friday night which I find strongest of the three by far. I know he will be performing material I have not seen before.

Rob Paravonian: B+: The Marscon 2015 GOH is playing at the same hotel I first saw him in May 2000. Since I was in serious pain during his set, I know I will enjoy this show more as he is more than a one song artist.

Bad parody ideas: B+: Anyone can present their idea and after last year, it should be better. FYI: Be afraid; be very afraid.

Worm Quartet: A: As the years press on, I see fewer performances by many and I miss seeing him on stage dammit.

The Gothsicles: B+: My age shows during their show. The last time I saw them perform, it was overwhelming. I am glad my daughter is now old enough to enjoy their show.

SeaMonkey: A: I can understand why it is advertised as his last show as people change as they get older. I am hoping my daughter is old enough to appreciate his content.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Tournament results

Last weekend was Illinois Open Series #79 and the hole by hole disc golf scores are listed.

The first round of the top two was on the significantly easier version of the course and the card from one other person in my division was interesting.

The bottom two on the championship gold course was interesting as well. I do admire the woman who finished her round as I could imagine others in her situation quitting.

Note: The women started on #12 making them finish on #11 so I can see how she had a 19 there as that is 685 feet through trees after a long, hot and muggy afternoon.

Friday, August 12, 2016

Pandemic Legacy part 10

Quarantine specialist Klinger log:

Thanks to info from the virologist, we got a new assignment: Find the immunologist who is lost in either rioting Los Angeles or Mexico City. We were also told to just cure diseases and not worry about eradicating them any more. We also got a new military base in Bogota meaning 5 of the 6 areas of the world now have a UNIT facility.

Not wanting to risk harm to our researcher, our generalist was called into action as we got reports of anti VAX issues in New York and western Europe. I followed the generalist into Mexico City to search and quarantine while the scientist headed east to treat.

Two epidemics in Asia happened while the scientist cured the Martian water issue and then she had a tough decision to make. She had an opportunity to find the immunologist in Los Angeles before the trail went cold as well as curing the anti VAX problem but she would be in a city with faded figures which would scar her and decided to go for it knowing the Silurian issue was about to get beyond control.

After a third epidemic followed by an outbreak, I had one last chance before things would go out of control. I was in Sydney and cured to the Silurian disease, went to LA to reestablish the quarantine there, and set up a seventh overall one in Bogota to get to the point where UNIT can move in and settle things (including an evac of our scientist preventing injury) just before another outbreak would have created chaos.

Our immunologist stated that he needs components to form a vaccine but the virologist can now treat the faded people. When we mentioned that the disease is called El Guapo, he corrected us stating that El Guapo is not the name of the disease but that of the man who created the disease and unleashed it upon his people in an attempt to take over the country but it spread beyond his control.

After I worked out details to allow expanded quarantine procedures, we got a call from Torchwood stating that their nuclear device was now available followed immediately by a call from the Doctor demanding that we never use it.

Aug 30

Saturday, August 6, 2016

Pandemic Legacy part 9

Quarantine Specialist Ahmed Klinger

After a brief discussion in which our rescued virologist stated those in the area mention "El Guapo" as the disease name, we determined finding cures to diseases has becone more important than treating so our researcher was welcomed back to the team in place of the medic.

Things broke heavy in the far east so roadblocks were established to prevent multiple outbreaks there. As I started quarantine procedures in Africa, the scientist along with the researcher headed to Asia to treat. Due to them being close, info was easily exchanged and after I headed that way as well, all three diseases had cures thanks in part to the scientist having extra storage capacity.

The treatment part became a challenge as outbreaks in all three diseases made things come close to panic. Fortunately a quarantine in Moscow kept the Silurian issue from turning worse as well as good timing.

With my hasmat suit, I made my way into faded west Africa then into South America without getting scarred and established a military base in Rio. As the other two were finally able to eradicate the anti vax issue, I was on my way to adding a military base to our Cairo office only to find out funding that was established after our failure earlier this month already provided one.

Having met our goal, we made the anti vax issue easier to treat as well as getting an additional treatment option for potential future use.