Monday, July 31, 2017

A penny for your ounce

Cook County, IL, the same county which contains the city of Chicago, will be starting August 2nd charging a 1 cent per ounce tax on soda and other non natural beverages in an effort to raise funds.

As someone who drinks Coke Zero instead of coffee (and will likely drink their "new, improved" version), that becomes an impact to me even though I do not live in Cook County since the two stores I most frequently shop are the closest to the county line for those north and northeast of me and the stores are advertising that the new tax does not affect them.

There are times when Coke Zero runs out now. It will probably happen more often when those in Cook County travel to buy 4 cases of it at a time.


Du Page county, where I live, was at one time a part of Cook County but was created separately in the 1800s.

There are those who think this can help me because it might inspire me to stop drinking soda because that is why I am fat. I say, "Fuck you." I am fat because I eat way too much and not from drinking things without calories.

They could also say drink coffee or tea. I say, "Fuck you." I can't stand the taste of coffee or tea either hot or cold. I am used to popping a 20 oz bottle at 6AM.

Monday, July 17, 2017

Jumping the Thames

It has been 24 hours since I was sitting at a picnic bench eating lunch between rounds of a tournament when I discovered that the next person to play the Doctor is Jodie Whittaker.

My first thought was the phrase "jumping the shark" which is a term used to describe a tv show declining in popularity doing something different in an attempt to boost ratings. Looking at many reactions to this announcement, it is possible that this move could turn viewers away from the show than to it.

I have begun to wonder how the new producers of the show will handle the Doctor being female. There has always been self discovery within the character after the previous regenerations and this one will definitely be more significant. Being a show where there are episodes that take place in the past, the new appearance of the character can provide additional obstacles to overcome. I have even imagined scenarios where the Doctor would need to uncomfortably tap into its previously unused feminine side to escape imprisonment or influence someone.

However, exploring a radically different persona won't be enough to make the show viable and I hope that those making the new episodes which should become available next Spring will realize that.

This scenario reminds me of what happened decades ago when Tom Baker made the show very popular who was replaced by Peter Davison who kept the momentum going through before losing viewers with Colin Baker before the original run ended with Sylvester McCoy. The new show took off with David Tennant and now this one will be the third past him.

Saturday, July 8, 2017

Unexpecting the expected

The title of the post refers to a song done by a California comedy music artist named Dino Mike whose most recent CD ANALBUM  had a song that was a 2016 Logan Award finalist, Urban Dictionary, and a song called Beamer whose video won the 2017 Logan Award last month.

The song can be heard here: http://www.thefump.com/fump.php?id=1889

The song has a label called Squick (unlike the explicit stag which means profanity) which means that there are concepts in the song that can really gross people out.

The song is an upbeat positive jingle from the point of view of an abortion clinic doctor featuring a whole bunch of puns that are in poor taste. I have wanted to make a video for this song for the FuMPFeST video contest but lack the person behind the camera as well as a couple of extras that are needed.

Wanting to kill time on a day off work without feeding me face, I decided to walk 2+ miles each way to the Wood Dale Police Station to drop off empty prescription bottles even though I drive past it to go to my job. I know that my town has that also but their container is only open during weekday business hours so I left about 11AM.

While walking down Irving Park Road past the many places where I can get food, I realized that there might be people protesting outside the abortion clinic as they have done for years. Knowing that there is an open field which can shorten my walk a block each way if I walk past it, I continued in that direction.



There were only two ladies on the main sidewalk and as I passed them, one offered me a pamphlet about "the joy that I could receive from being a member of the Christian church". I politely declined and with my back to them as I continued on my way one told me to have a blessed day to which I instinctively replied, "Not plausible".

I then heard both of them yelling but due to the traffic and my hearing I could not make out one word which was probably for my best. I then had a decision to make. On the way back do I avoid them and add a block or two on my walk back since Irving Park Road is not a true east-west street here or head back the same way I came since if they have a right to stand on the sidewalk and harass people who have decided to make a difficult decision, I have the same right to use that sidewalk as well. .

Knowing what they could say to me, I rehearsed my replies including listing the 12 years of Christian education that I received, asking if their protests have even caused one person to change their mind (though it is possible that their protests might prevent others from going there), and explaining that not plausible means that though the concept of eternal salvation is something only an idiot would not want to get, there is no tangible evidence to support that concept and using the Bible to support your claim is as meaningless to me as someone using a Little Men book to prove that Mr. Tickle exists.

I also considered pretending to be on my phone talking about that evening's Vatican City style drug fueled gay orgy but put the phone down and calmly walked to that location only to find that those two ladies moved to a different part of the sidewalk not along Irving Park Road to harass customers. The sun being in a different part of the sky might have caused them to move but I really hope that they moved to avoid me.

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Straight on the edge

I do admit that my level of seriousness when playing sports has always exceeded my level of play. Even when playing in the Cook County golf amateur championship in the 90s or in a league against the best bowlers in the area, that occurred especially when others show more ability than me since my intensity was the only thing that could when harnessed properly allow me to compete.

In the world of disc golf, my attitude becomes more out of place. I rarely on a busy course not hear music playing from a portable speaker and even in tournaments see alcohol, cigarettes, and marijuana either used or see people whom I can tell were using. I even heard of a video showing the lead card at a local tournament made by that tournament's TD that there were people openly drinking alcohol while playing.

(Due to my arthritis, I take multiple prescription medications and a vitamin supplement so I can take that medication. There are some that will question my opinion since I choose narcotics to function as opposed to "more natural" things. I am aware. Deal with it.)

In events held by the Professional Disc Golf Association, drinking or drugs on the course are grounds for immediate disqualification. Not wanting to be "that guy", I ask that those who ask me about using to use make sure nothing blows in my direction since the whiff of it can give me a headache and I also do not want the smell on my clothes.

There was a recent non sanctioned event on a course that I like to play so I went. I broke even financially by having the best shot out of over 30 players involved at the end of round one and was in a good mood starting the second round.

Due to pairings, I was paired with the associate of the person who was running the event. He played in the same age restricted category I did in a sanctioned event there last year but was not in the same group as me in either round as he struggled in his first round being hung over from the previous night and showed how much better he is than I am in his second round once he was sober.

At the recent event, he chose to not offer his bag tag since he was again hung over and I was not looking forward to playing with him as his lack of sobriety showed as he was trying to pair people for round two. At least I did not play with the person who mentioned during the break how weird he felt after having a "mushroom".

As we were waiting to play, he started complaining that the person who won $20 in the throw off was a cheapskate by not donating it to the charity. My first thought was to confront him and tell him that if he wanted that money to go to charity, he should have thrown his shot better than me but since he was helping the TD, I decided to not do that.

As he struggled, he was popping multiple beers even bragging that 30% of his income (though he is unemployed) goes to alcohol. I was getting more annoyed by him as the round progressed. With a couple holes left, he wanted to take a break so he could enjoy something else as the parking lot would not be suitable for him. Since I was downwind as it happened, I got the full brunt of it and had a headache soon after.

After all that, I won't return to that course for an event unless it is a fully sanctioned one. There is also a chance that another tournament group might hold an event there since a location had to change. Since an event there could mean being paired with that person since that is his "home course", I hope it doesn't happen.

On my way home that day, I was thinking about him and how he lives and realized that though he is someone whom I look down upon, no doubt he is happier than I am.

Saturday, June 24, 2017

Finishing super

Though I now watch the NFL Championship game, everyone else calls it the Super Bowl and there have been 51 played. I discovered on You Tube a video showing the last play of the first 50 Super Bowls and as I do, created a list which I am posting today so it gets out of my head. I might create a pie chart but doing that on a laptop computer is not easy.

QB kneel (or goes to ground): 17 times - Though it is common today for a QB to take a snap and kneel at the end of a game, it did not start to happen regularly until after the 1978 Miracle at the Meadowlands game when the team in front fumbled the QB/RB exchange. Before the rule allowing a QB to kneel without being touched was not established until 1987, the QB would take the snap and fall to the ground. The first one to finish a Super Bowl that way was Mike Rae in SB11.

RB hand off: 10 times - Not surprisingly this happened 4 of the first 8 times all by the winning team and only three times in the last 31 including the game winning run in SB51.

QB sack: 6 times - To my surprise it has not happened in the past 24 games. In SB7, the last play was a 4th down sack and until I saw the replay of the game in 2010, I did not realize that at that time, the clock was restarted after change of possession after a player is tackled in bounds which is not the rule today.

Completed pass: 6 times - Most famously SB34 where a player on a team down 7 points was tackled at the 1 yard line

Incomplete pass: 3 times - Since the game clock stops after an incomplete pass, it is not common. Two of them were done by the team in a "Hail Mary" situation trying for a long pass to win.

Kickoff return: 2 times - One was after a team made a leading FG the play before

Interception: 2 times - One was on a "Hail Mary" play.

Made field goal: 2 times - The 5 second rule for field goals was established after the kick in SB36 took 7 seconds off the clock including the last 2 after the kick went through the uprights.

Missed field goal: 1 time - Scott Norwood's 47 yard attempt off natural grass in SB25 was to me at best a 50/50 chance.

On side kick: 1 time - In SB16, the losing team scored with a couple of seconds left to be down 5. Had they recovered the kick without the other team touching the ball, no time would have elapsed and they would have been able to run one play.

Free kick return - In SB47, the team up by 5 on their own 8 yard line deliberately had the punter run out of the end zone conceding a 2 point safety to avoid getting the punt blocked or returned from a tight punt formation. They had a free kick from their 20 which was run back to the 50 before the player was tackled ending the game.

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Applying math to football again

Working at a place that prints sports schedules, I look at them from the point of view of the person who will see them displayed as opposed to the printer. Occasionally I will notice something wrong within the presentation of the schedule that someone focused on print quality would miss.

While looking at one schedule a couple days ago, I realized that the Miami Dolphins will play in Carolina on Monday, November 13th. I did not notice that when the schedule was released by the NFL last month.

What makes it weird is this is the third time in four years that the Dolphins will play on my birthday having hosted Buffalo in 2014 on a Thursday and playing in San Diego last year on a Sunday.

I had to figure the odds of that happening. Since there are four things that need to happen, the probability of each is determined then all four are multiplied to get the result.

Thursday night game in 2014: 16-1: Every team plays once on 16 Thursday night games during the season.

Leap year timing: 2-1: Since the NFL does not play November Friday or Saturday games, there has to be a leap year in the second or third year for a team to play on the same date 3 times in 4 years.

Sunday game in 2016: 4-3: 24 of the 32 teams played on Nov 13 last year. 2 played the Thursday before, 2 the Monday after, and 4 had their bye week.

Monday game in 2017: 16-1: Two teams play on that Monday night.

Doing the math: 682.666 - 1

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Still fat

Having lost over 40 pounds since November 2015, 25 since August 2016, and 15 this year, many have complimented me on how I look. Though I appreciate the compliments, I am nowhere near satisfied.

Today, I realized that in the 3.1 mile stretch on Irving Park Rd between York Road and Prospect Ave along my work commute, where I shop, or where I walk that there are about 35 places where I could walk into, give someone money, and get food to eat right away. Some days it does become difficult to not stop at them but avoiding those places most of the time is the main reason things have improved for me since August.

Over a decade ago, two things happened which I remember like it was last week. At Mount Olympus in the Wisconsin Dells, there is a large water slide which passengers lay forward on a mat. My six year old daughter was just tall enough to ride so we climbed the 3+ stories and she went first. When she was done, she turned around to me and gave a thumbs up which the person at the top of the slide had to confirm for me.

Then I went down. It was more intense than I anticipated and when I stopped at the end of the slide, I looked up and saw the life guard running in my direction giving me a dirty look. As she passed me, I looked behind and realized that I forgot to account for Newton's second law of motion. When I got to the bottom of the slide, I was carrying more momentum than my daughter and went significantly farther and displaced more water. My daughter who was still walking to the end of the slide was knocked down by the force of the wake I created. She was stunned but was ok.

In 2007, at Universal Islands of Adventure, there was a brief shower and when it ended, we were near the entrance for the Hulk roller coaster which was temporarily shut down for the rain when it reopened. I gave my glasses to my mom who agreed to watch my daughter so I can go on one ride during the week I was in Orlando which was not suitable for a 7 year old girl.

After 15 minutes in a line which is normally defined in hours, it was my turn and the person at the ride told me seat three in row 6. I went to that row, saw that the last seat was open and sat there. When I pulled down the restraint, I noticed that it would not lock. When I mentioned it, the person at the ride was upset with me since I did not follow her instructions and after unlocking the entire ride, I switched seats and the harness worked.

After the ride was done, I noticed with my poor, unaided vision blurry letters on a sign, walked up to it and read:

Certain passengers with special situations will be required to sit in the middle two seats in rows 3 and 6.
 
I then realized that due to my weight/size, I had to sit in a "fat seat".
 
What I weighed during those two occasions is about what I weigh now.