Sunday, December 10, 2017

Going against my better judgement

Since the man whose last name matches the company name on my work badge requested, I used store credit to purchase clothes and shoes to attend last night's company December party.

Here is what I experienced:

Non employee spouses or fiancees introduced to me: 24
People who asked why I am alone requiring me to explain why: 10
Combined tenure in years of two people who retired in 2017 and were honored: 86
Beers consumed: 4
Glasses of wine: 1
Minutes the alcohol in my body completely removed the pain that is normally in it: 120
Weeks since the last time I was in that situation: 108
Previous times in 22+ years at my employer I was in that situation with fellow employees: 0
People concerned about my driving home while I was pain free: 7
People who mentioned the time in 2005 where in the building I discovered that two footballs commemorating the 1972 Dolphins playoff wins had the wrong score: 3
Times I showed a pic from device to answer a question: 4
People who incorrectly claimed that John Fox was the Broncos coach when they won the Super Bowl with Peyton Manning even though I said he wasn't: 2
People who tried to get me to take a "funny" pic in the photo booth: 3
People who asked about disc golf: 3
Luke Ski reverse parodies played in a row by the DJ: 3
People who called me Kenny: 3
Times I felt obligated to reply with a non plausible greeting: 12
Facebook posts or replies made from room: 4
Facebook friend requests confirmed while sitting alone at a table while others were dancing or talking together: 1
People who played an RPG afterwords as my initial plan to watch but decided to not to do since I was in too much pain to stay as apparently the alcohol did not remove the pain in my body but banked it for when I got sober: 6


Friday, December 8, 2017

A reading from the book of work


While looking at the multiple skids that have to ship knowing there are too many for the truck, the Madman stated to the drivers, “I have let those at the destination know that all can’t ship today and they need to let me know what to send today. If they choose not to decide, they still have made a choice.”

One driver chuckled and correctly stated, “Song lyrics?”

“Freewill,” replied the Madman.

“God gave us free will,” replied the other driver.

“Really?” the Madman stated. “What about those who use modern medicine to not prolong or protect life but instead use it to prevent unwanted life or end painful ones? What about those whose sexual preference are not described with the term heterosexual monogamy? Those people according to the rules God have prescribed should be persecuted or even executed. How is that free will?”

*Silence*

These are the words of the Madman.

There can’t be a “god”

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

End of 2017 season recap

Due to a knee injury on October 21st, my disc golf season ended earlier than planned. I walked off the course on the 22nd with 6 to play in a tournament and had to withdraw from an event the following Sunday. Fortunately, I had yet to register for the same event in Wisconsin that I played last year on the 4th Saturday in November.

This week, I start physical therapy on my right knee which gave out during the same first step I took on a throw thousands of times this year. My doctor told me to not touch a disc until I finish therapy and I weigh less than 250 lb.

On January 1st, I set a goal to birdie 100 different holes and did that on June 29th on what I have to admit was a pulled drive that turned out perfect on a 375 ft downhill hole. I finished with 173 different holes birdied from 32 different courses. (There was one course that I played, Silver Fox, where I did not get a birdie.)

Here is a breakdown of them:

Location:

Cook County (7 courses) : 56
Du Page County (7 courses) : 30
Wisconsin (5 courses) : 30
Indiana (5 courses) : 22
Lake County (2 courses) : 17
Other IL counties (6 counties @ 1 course each) : 18

Situation getting first birdie of hole:

Practice: 116
Warmup: 13
Club event: 8
Sanctioned tournament: 36

Type of hole:

Standard: 163
Temp: 10

Multiple birdies from same tee pad to different locations: 2 (#9 Fairfield/Squaw Creek; #2 Grey Fox)
Multiple birdies from different tee pads to same location: 2 (50 Acre #1 and #8)
Longest par 3 birdie: Riemer #14 (478 feet from top of sled hill)
Number of drives off top of bucket: 4

How birdie happened:

Drive + putt: 158
3rd shot on par 5 plus putt: 1 (11 Squaw Creek Gold)
2nd shot on par 4 plus putt: 4 (best - #14 Lemon Lake Red, last hole of Homie)
Made long putt: 3 (None after popping arm in June)
Made approach shot: 5 (best #14 Lemon Lake Blue, first hole of Homie)

Aces: 2 (Jan 2 #3 Horizon Park - 160ft Red Leopard; May 14 #13R 50 Acre - 218 green Buzzz)

Monday, November 6, 2017

Burgers, fries, and knee pain

When I hurt my knee last February, I was referred to the orthopedic doctor in Downers Grove which is where my organization now has their doctors. When I looked up the address, I noticed that it was less than a block away from the Five Guys on Odgen.


The morning of my appointment, I turned off my tablet and then realized I never looked up how long it would take. Since the referral was in my car and I did not know the cross street or how many other locations have the name, I asked my wife to find out how long it takes to get to the Five Guys on Odgen. (which by entering that in Google is what I did to get the map above)

Five minutes later, she was on the Five Guys site still trying to get me that info and though I said where my doctor was compared to that location, she could not understand why I would go out of my way to head to that one since there are two other closer locations.

I should have known better to ask the same person who once told me the surgical center said to show up at 8AM for an 8AM surgery and then refused to give me the number so I could call them back to help me.

Sunday, October 29, 2017

Pandemic Legacy part 13

After treating all the strains in November and getting many areas vaccinated, a note was delivered to UNIT HQ. El Guapo was thanking us for making his plans to infect the world possible. He explained that our former quarantine expert, Ahmed Klinger, was stockpiling multiple variations of the CodA disease which will be used to change the world.

We were fortunate to find out that the stockpile was hidden in Atlanta but due to multiple outbreaks, finding it will be difficult as the research center was destroyed.. Since CodA has become the threat, that took priority over curing the other new strains of disease which meant that Medic Hunnicutt, researcher Pierce, and Scientist Houlihan were no longer needed. Immunologist Kathy McIntyre, generalist Charles Emerson Winchester V, and Cpl Edward O'Reilly were tasked to take care of this situation.

Before the team could get to Tokyo, there was an outbreak infecting many cities in the pacific rim. Fortunately the factories were producing vaccine provided many doses but there were significantly more cities than planned and with multiple outbreaks of the other three diseases, there was no time to search Atlanta. Even though the anti-vax strains was cured, UNIT had to step in and shut things down.

After things settled, the team was able to vaccinate all the cities even though an outbreak in Montreal scarred the generalist. The team eventually made it to Atlanta and located the secret bunker. However, all that was found was a note declaring victory and wishing us a Happy New Year in a whole new world.

Epilogue:

As El Guapo predicted, the new strains of CodA put the world into mass chaos in spite of the best efforts of UNIT. The war that followed left humanity devastated. Once it ended, there were just pockets of civilization that after a couple of generations were supplied by havens based in the Atlantic Ocean. As the years passed, the communication among the areas not on the Atlantic were lost and eventually supplies were becoming short as a new threat to humanity arose.

Eventually, new heroes were needed to be called upon to try to save what civilization that was remaining and to possibly expand the world itself.

Friday, October 20, 2017

Not so happy Friday

I hate work day Fridays. My body is tired and sore from working the previous days of the week. I've explained many times that my happy Fridays are the ones I am not working and that if I was not working, then no Fridays would be happy since there are not ones at work for comparison to make the ones that I am off happy. (Please note that there is not an apostrophe used.)

The following are a bunch of things others have said to me in response to my pain to help along with how I would want to reply:


Q: Take some "over the counter" medicine (from the cabinet).


A: I can't believe I have NEVER thought of that idea in the decades I have been in pain. Actually, I have tried that and the biggest reaction I get is within my digestive system.


Q: Why don't you take the pain medication that you have prescribed for you?


A: I drive fork lifts weighing up to and over 10,000 lb moving skids up to 23 feet in the air. I can't take that medication and safely operate the truck and taking it the night before has caused me to sleep through my alarm in the morning.


Q: Just drink a 40 and do a blunt.


A: I drive a 5 ton fork truck around you and you want me to do that stoned?


Q: I take this (insert supplement) and it works.


A: My father who suffered from the same thing I do became a test subject for all sorts of medications and supplements through the VA and I have taken him to the emergency room multiple times due to the reactions to what he took. I was in the ER last December since the medicine I take for my inflammatory arthritis (which was originally designed for chemotherapy) is an immune suppressant and leaves me vulnerable to illness.

My wife also ended up having major surgery based on a supplement she was taking with her regular medication so I am not going to risk anything like that for me.


Q: What about a massage?
A: I have tried them too and found that though they feel good at the time, I am worse once I get up as the problem is joint related and not muscular.


Q: Why don't you get your wife...
A: No.


Q: But she's your wife...
A: NO!


Q: Smile. You'll feel better.
A: No. Me smiling would make YOU feel better since you want me to appear to be happy. Since you are not my daughter nor someone who is directly responsible for me earning money, I am not going to do that. Deal with it.

Q: *Puts hand on my shoulder or back to comfort*
A: WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING ME?!

Q: You should be happy because of the blessed day God has given you. I'll pray for you.
A: FUCK YOU and your non plausible concept.

Monday, October 9, 2017

taking a knee

The National Anthem was something I was taught to respect as a child. Whenever it was played before an event, I would always stand in courtesy of the performance or playing often noticing all those who were not acknowledging it. Occasionally, someone would perform it their own way and in Chicago, fans in the Chicago Stadium started to make noise during it. Even though I felt uncomfortable the occasions I saw it there, I was still ok with it even tough I refused to make noise as the other thousands there do.

In January, 1991, my perspective started to change. The country sent troops to Iraq marking the first time since I was a small child that the US was directly involved in a war. Though it did not last long, it left an impression which today still bothers me.

Before the National Football League Championship Game, the anthem was played and the singing was the worst I ever heard. It sounded like a person strung out on cocaine with a vibrator shoved between her legs. The following days, I encountered the horror of people actually not just liking the performance but making the person who sang it a star from that. I had to constantly hear it on the radio at work over the next couple months even purposely coming in late so I would not have to hear it played at 9AM. Over the years, I would still hear it played before events and even had to put my fingers in my ears one time as it was played too loud for my comfort.

As life continued, I took pleasure in hearing bad things happening to her. When a Fark Headline in October 2005 read: "White Sox beat Houston 4 times in 5 days to win title. Bobby Brown says he did better." I was ecstatic. In February, 2012, a statement I made over 2 decades earlier while I was still a virgin came true as the day she was found dead in a hotel bathtub I attended a wild Barfleet party at Capricon that evening.

What I eventually realized was that the performance in 1991 sparked a desire by anyone performing the anthem at any televised event to try to duplicate the success by making it theirs. There are people today most notably in the United Center in Chicago who have taken a song that is designed to be treated with respect into something they are noted to sing even using it as a way to rile up a crowd.

Thanks to the second invasion of Iraq which has continued far long after those responsible for 9/11 have been caught, imprisoned, and executed, the military has pumped millions of dollars to create patriotism at sporting events in order to generate more soldiers to continue a war for which I have no idea why is still happening. To me an event that used to be of respect has turned into a corporate joke.

When I attend an event like a football game at my daughter's high school, I pause, remove a hat that I am wearing, and stand at attention. At events where there is money involved in the performance of it, I reluctantly out of courtesy stand for it. If I am watching a televised event where it is played, I pause the tv and fast forward through it.

Due to the corporate nature the anthem had become, how can I be bothered by those who use it for their own protest since many have used it for their own personal or corporate gain for over two dozen decades. I personally don't want them to do that since I want to watch and later hear others talk about a sporting event and not a demonstration before it is even played.

Another byproduct of the protest is the reaction by the fans who have bought into the overdone military presentations. There is a call for a full boycott of the NFL on the second weekend of November because of the player protests. I am interested in watching football. Unless I am playing disc golf, I will be in front of my tv on the 10th and the 12th watching the games and definitely on the 13th watching Miami at Carolina.

Due to the reaction by fans, another group of people are angry at the league since the first player who protested, Colin Kaepernick, was not signed by any team. Though he is not the player who took advantage of becoming a starter late in the season and having 1 1/4 great years, he is better than some players currently on rosters. However, the backlash of signing him is currently too great for any team willing to do so since unlike some players who have committed crimes and were signed, he is no longer an elite player.

I have seen a statement by Michael Moore talking about Kaep is still a viable player. To me that is the equivalent of Jenny McCarthy talking about vaccines. NFL defenses know how to stop the read option which he is good at. The year he was benched (before his protest) as well as the year after, he did not complete 60% of his passes which in today's NFL is bad.

All I want to do is watch football. I really didn't want to spend 45 minutes after work sitting on a computer getting these thoughts out of my head but I had to do it.