The ending of a long chapter

The idea of my company when I first started there in the mid 1990s was to help organizations distribute information to its clients across the country about products, pricing, promotions, and displays. They would send us the information and we would print it, make it how they wanted it to look, and ship the correct information in a professional style manner to the correct people. Today, that information is usually sent via email and people whose jobs were focused solely on this part were laid off years ago.

As their customers' needs changed, my company changed its focus this decade on design as well as on printing products that are visible mostly at gas stations, stores, and bars and after our computer system was upgraded a few years ago, much of what happens in the plant runs through me and after I was gone for a few months working at the other facility, my importance was realized and my wage finally was at the point where I felt that it reflected the work I do.

With the extra made from working a significant number of hours/days last year as well as extra per hour this year, things were in recovery mode though there is a significant amount of recovery needed after many years where income fell below expenses. Things changed at the end of May when it was announced that one of our customers due to a lowball offer joined a former customer into having their work done by a competitor. The person whose last name is on my badge announced that they will examine the situation and by the end of August announce the future plan as far as the shop is concerned.

Hearing that information changed my summer. The only tournaments I played between the US Masters in early May through the first half of August were ones I had registered before the announcement and there were a couple that I could not justify registering due to the uncertainty at my work. It was also difficult to not give money to people who needed it not knowing if I would become a needy one in 2019. The only reason I played in an event in late August and have plans to play in September and October (as the injured arm is good enough to play) was due to the extra money I have been making delivering food and I registered for them before the upcoming August 30th announcement.

Those who work in the plant just finished a meeting with the person whose last name is on all our badges and he stated that the plant will be closing and my final day is currently slated to be Oct 2. However, much of the work here will be done by a different facility and they will be hiring people at similar equivalent pay and honoring vacation status. The interview process starts next week and I have already signed up to do so.

The announcement was not a surprise as the question of the plant closing in most minds changed from if to when a while ago but finding out about the time frame of this was shocking. If I don't get hired at the other company with severance and deliveries I should be ok financially for at least 4-6 months following my last day and I already planned on renewing my health club membership to avoid going bad physically if that becomes the case. The hardest part will be trying to start over somewhere else after 23 years here.

Now what

Though I had my third career ace on Sunday on a shot shorter than a field goal I kicked in a game at McKinley Park in 1987, my overall game was not good as putting was an issue. (I still count the ace) Last Wednesday, between deliveries, I stopped at a park to practice putting taking 5 putters out of my trunk and throw them all at a basket in groups of 5 from varying positions and distances.

On the 5th round, I felt a pop in my right arm similar to what happened 3 other times in the past two years. I threw a couple more putts and left. When I checked my arm strength the next morning, it was not just a little sore like it was those three times but similar to what happened to my arm in 2015 when my season ended in June and I had to go through physical therapy the following March to finally end up playing in June 2016.

The following evening, I tried to see if there was a way I could putt let alone play and confirmed there really isn't. I am wanting to play in an event in 5 days but that is highly doubtful. The only good thing about this is that is happened the day before I was going to register for three events in September.

Today at work, I have been more pissed off than normal even for me. I am hoping when the depression hits that I am not in a place where I could do something permanent.

Had I injured my arm trying to get an extra 20 feet on a shot, by throwing a forehand, or even after playing too much over a short time, I could understand. This happened on a shot that was thrown only 20 fucking feet on a day after being off for two. I do admit that trying to conserve medication so I could make it last longer if my company makes a decision which would be understandable was a factor as well. Before that my 32 oz cup of soda felt "heavy". I wonder if that was a sign I ignored.

So what do I do next? I have already been doing rehab exercises like I did a while ago and I figure that I could be tournament ready again by the end of the year or even Thanksgiving for the event in Silver Lake but all my plans for September are gone. Others have suggested other things to do. I popped a tendon in my elbow. No joint manipulation or other type therapy is going to help. If I was a professional athlete, I might even have surgery but since I can still do my job, that won't happen.

When the thing that gives reason to get up at 5:15 is not there, it gets tough.

I see stage 4 is making its way through me now.