Saturday, May 30, 2009

Man of Honor

In a couple of hours, I will need to leave to go to the wedding of my best friend Carrie Dahlby. I then realized that since I met my wife in January 1997, this will only be the fifth time we will both be at a wedding including our own and the first time since I got drunk in Joliet six years ago and during the Cha Cha slide gave a new meaning to the move Charlie Brown by pretending to miss kicking a football, launching my self into the air screaming AAUUGGGH! and falling on my back in the grass outside the dance floor.

Weddings I attended with my wife where I was in the bridal party, I only listed as a member of. + family means when I still lived with my parents, + guest means with my girlfriend at that time, Mr and Mrs with my wife, con attendee means at a con where anyone could watch. The wedding at the first con I attended was unforgettable and I found a picture from it.

Yes, that is Dr. Demento who gave away the bride, and the best man is dressed as Lt. Data from Star Trek and the ring bearer was dressed as a cow. The man in the back performed the ceremony wearing only a diaper and a crown of thorns.

My participation in the wedding was difficult for Carrie and Josh to determine. Ideas ranged from me walking her down the aisle to actually performing the ceremony. There are things done by a maid and matron of honor (both of whom she has and who looked great together at the bachelorette party) that I can't do. Carrie also wanted me to be with her to help when needed. I then realized the term man of honor would describe it best. It might not be listed like that in the program but I don't care.

Having gone through my wedding almost ten years ago when it was almost completely relatives as I really had no friends at the time and the people I worked with and played Scrabble with ignored it, it will be interesting to see my friends there in formal attire mixed with those who really have little understanding of our unique world. From what I have heard it will be 40% us, 60% others.

Since all my up front memories of my wedding are of being upset and angry, I hope that this wedding like the one I attended in Iowa by myself a few years ago will uncover the hidden good memories that are buried inside. At least I know the DJ there will not be subcontracted and won't be playing music for his 23 year old girlfriend who crashed the reception and won't ignore requests from the groom since the mother of the bride instructed him to do so.

Anyway, I just got a call from the bridal party and I have to leave now to drive someone somewhere in the city and then drive back home to get my daughter and back to the city for the ceremony.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

The great American Race

Sorry about no post from last week. With my job and the bachelorette/bachelor party I attended last weekend, I had no time to make a chart or post.

Since 32 brave drivers are going to try to avoid getting wrecked by Danica Patrick in Indianapolis this Sunday, I figured this is a good time to post the miles I have driven the last 20 years without doing anything worse than scraping a double parked car while driving a station wagon on a clogged downtown Chicago street.

Yes, I am aware of the potential for irony created by this post.

FYI: (note rant to follow) People may ask why I pick on Danica Patrick. In her rookie year where she finished fourth and started to get all the publicity, she made two major mistakes at slow speed, stalling her engine in the pit and spinning the car while accelerating on a different restart. The first mistake happened under caution so she did not lose a lap. The second one caused two other cars to wreck themselves out of the race. Along with another incident where the car she touched with her tires wrecked, she took out a total of three other drivers and the last incident put her out of sequence with pit stops causing her to take the lead late in the race.

Since then her attitude has caused many unnecessary incidents on and off the track. This is why I don't like her.

NOTE: She ran an incident free race finishing third. Anything can happen

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Family Circus style driving, part 5

This situation happened to me twice both times coming home from a long convention weekend. First in March 2006 and second last Sunday. I was so tired, I failed to get in the right lane to turn onto Irving Park Road to get home. Once I realized my error, I made a right turn, turned around my car and got back to the point where I made the error and continued on my way.

This situation happened last Easter Sunday while driving to Joliet (or as I like to say Zombie Jesus day driving towards removed by TMI filter ) Because of the reworked road, the ramp to head south is now the second one when it was the first one the past 10+ years and I instinctively exited off the wrong one. Once I realized my error, I got off the next exit and got my car turned around headed into the correct direction.

Unlike the previous four posts about this subject, the driver turned the vehicle around and proceeded back to the point the error was made and went the correct direction both times only delayed for about 5 minutes. The driver did not aimlessly drive around hoping to go in the correct general direction and end up 20 or more miles away from where they should be.

Maybe it would have been a good thing to drive around aimlessly and get lost last month. Then I would have not gotten sick from my mother-in-law's cooking.