FuMPFeST by the numbers

Total music artists there: 16

Artists with full main stage show: 10

Artists with short set in FuMP Showcase: 4

Artists who were there to work the convention rather than perform: 2

Artists who had to cancel due to COVID: 2

Artists I saw perform for the first time there: 2

Trading cards with a FuMP artist: 35

Cards in goodie bag along with bonus 2021 CD, sticker, ribbon, and a piece of tile: 8

People who asked why there was TILE in the bag: 2

Artists there who had merch at Table 27: 12

People looking for new Worm Quartet album Carpe Tedium which will be available soon: 3

People who made at least three purchases at Table 27 after hearing about raffle or wanting to get a CD after seeing a performance: 4

Artists who made purchase at table 27: 10

People who asked me if I needed assistance on Thursday evening since I was struggling to walk after playing 63 holes in 24 hours: 4

Times I needed to walk up or down a flight of stairs at hotel: 20

Times right knee was a serious issue with the stairs: 0

Things at hotel closed for the convention: 3

Animals who were snuggled by Bonnie Gordon: 4

Items gifted to table 27 workers by artists: 3

Worm Quartet parodies performed during Dumb Parody Ideas: 3

Total words in my dumb parody idea that qualified for round two: 10

Seconds after not making the final two I realized upon seeing Bonnie I should have shouted "SQUIRREL!" as she was holding one: 5

Logan Awards finalist songs performed by artist there: 3

Logan Awards finalist songs covered by other artist there: 5

Logan Awards parody finalist songs which I am not familiar with the original: 3

Logan Awards video finalists I have seen before event: 1

Logan Awards winners I have seen or heard before event: 2

Years ago my dumb parody idea was performed about the same topic the Logan Awards video winner was: 5

Seconds in hotel room bathroom it took on Saturday evening to get door handle back in and turn handle so I could get out: 45

Different people I ate breakfast with: 8

People I ate other meals with: 0

Food trucks that were in parking lot: 4

Total shirts obtained: 3

Total CDs obtained: 6

Purchases made for other people: 2

Drawings made of artists made by one fan there: 4

People who signed the golden spatula given to the dumb parody idea winner: 12

People doing interviews for FuMP documentary: 4

People I recommended them interview for this: 3

People I saw react with surprise hearing Marscon 2024 GOH: 5

People who had same reaction after telling them I could rent a bus to have my daughter drive many to Marscon: 6

People playing Boob tree Saturday night: 16

Convention awards handed out after last music performance: 20

Minutes after music ended I was able to head home: 120

Hours between meals on Sunday forcing me to stop and eat before getting on the road: 9

Hours before my workday was starting I finally made it home: 5

Hours worked on Monday np when I realized it was too dangerous for me to continue: 5

Days after con ended I had enough mental energy to write this: 4

By default

While attempting to pay my electric bill with my replacement debit card which the site kept rejecting since it had the same number as the old one but with a different expiration date and code...

I got a text congratulating me on winning the disc golf 2023 Illinois Open Series Season championship in the MA50 division.

A look at the standings confirmed I won since I was the only player who played four of the seven events in MA50. However, this win is tainted.

Two of those four events I barely finished due to my right knee which has been an issue since May before it got worse in late July. 

Had to miss the final event due to the knee and someone who had played three events 39 shots better than me over eight tournament rounds (7 in my group) switched from MA50 to MP50 in that final eveent as no one else registered. Had I been able to play, he wouldn't have switched and would have qualified.

I also know in the one IOS event I played that he didn't, he missed due to "life" and the only time I played a round better than he did among the ten we both were at was at the state championship when I played one of the best rounds of my life the week before the knee went real bad which is similar to what happened with me the week before my left leg gave out in my last ever bowling league against the best in Chicago in the summer of 1994.

I believe there is a season trophy involved which if I get will rightfully give it to him the next time I see him.

Pre FuMPFeST by the numbers

Dollars withdrawn from ATM on Tuesday: 100 

Hours worked on Wednesday before hitting road: 6.5

Miles from work to Con on the Cob which hosts FuMPFeST: 363

Toll charges to drive directly from work to COTC: $31.76

Miles driven on road before discovering debit card no longer works: 90

Miles driven off Indiana Toll Road into Michigan to confirm card was deactivated at ATM to be replaced by one still at my house and to get extra cash: 5

Average cents gas is cheaper in Ohio (not on tollway) compared to where I live: 40

In dollars, how much more a 4pc Popeye's combo meal costs at Ohio Turnpike rest stop than at the one where I live: 3 (At least no sales tax was charged)

Times needing UDisc to find either basket or next tee on nine in West Union, OH: 4

Birdies on course: 6

Birdies on putts that were 50/50 throws that stayed in: 3

Birdie putts missed on a double-doink: 1

Time starting at Perrysville, OH course: 632PM

Sunset in city that day: 715PM

Time to finish round in minutes: 48

Deuces in round: 5

Holes I got a three which were listed as a par four that I changed on app to reflect how they play: 2

People who arrived at Waffle House as I was by car changing out of a very sweaty shirt: 5

Hours two people there had been working as the second shift called off: 15

Extra cash to leave as deposit for hotel room: 60

Phone calls, texts and FB messages trying to figure out how to get and or use replacement debit card: 20

Pairs of socks in bag that originally held six and were the only ones I packed for a four night trip: 3

Miles driven along US 20 Thursday morning to get to next course in Fremont: 25

Signage supporting man who has been indicted almost 100 times: 3

Signage opposing vote designed to protect female reproductive rights: 6

Holes at Walsh Park where my drive left me between 40 and 100 feet: 12

Times I couldn't easily figure out where to go even with UDisc App: 3

Birdies: 1

Discs lost trying to throw a shot I shouldn't: 1

Discs found and posted to OH lost discs group: 1

Miles driven past COTC hotel to get to course in Norton: 15

Holes from short tee (to be used by MA50 in tournament) where on a shot that avoided trees, can get within 30 feet: 18

Different quotes from a book based on a non plausible concept that are listed on tee signs: 36

Deuces on course: 6

Long birdie attempts smited by edge of cage: 3

Deuces "on course" no doubt related to previous nights Waffle House dinner: 1

Items thrown in garbage due to that incident: 2

Dollars left at course entrance found disc drop off box along with apology note: 5

Minutes arriving at hotel to getting checked in due to resolving issue with card: 30

Minutes in hotel room to find bathroom light which was not found until after I took a shower using light from my phone: 15

People I did not know who offered help after watching me struggle walking after playing 63 holes in less than 24 hours and sitting down too long: 4

Times someone forgot it was Thursday since cons generally start on a Friday: 10

People who had filled out their Luke Ski Top 50 poll previously while I was filling out the poll while listening to him talk about his top 50 poll: 13

Minutes it took paramedics to arrive after person attempted to use "heelys" and ended up with an ankle bent 90 degrees in the wrong direction: 25

Times I had to remind myself to ask other people how they are and/or someone important to them are doing because I generally forget to do that and then wonder after how they are: 10

FuMPFeST swag bags helped to assemble: 55

Minutes listening to three performers discuss what songs they could and could not perform during their concert due to the SAG strike: 15

Time returning back to room: 1:15 EDT