Playing in the void

I often state that when playing disc golf that I have a "1050 demand of myself" but "850 ability".  Treating myself like the top players in the world usually produces dissatisfaction when playing especially when things go worse than normal during and between events. Granted, this will occasionally allow myself to play above my level for a short period of time but in the long run, talent takes over.

This is a common theme for everything I have done in life. I am better than the average person but not up to standards with the elite players and the only way I have ever performed anything is by putting the same demands of myself that the best would do.

When bowling with those who don't understand why I put a stopper after a "Brooklyn" strike or tell me I am lucky when carrying a thin pocket hit (where the ball hits the 5), or golfing with someone who screamed "HOW YOU'RE DOING, LYNN?" while someone is swinging or "playing hockey" on the 9th green as someone has a 4 foot putt for a one over 37 (30 years ago today), it gets frustrating especially when accused of "not having fun". Of course, when I had fun playing, I would be accused of "showing off".

They are the same people who don't understand that my best round of golf produced an 83 on a hard course in 50 degree rain as opposed to a 78 in perfect conditions on an easier course or that the score in the best game I bowled is 240 (where every shot was executed exactly as I wanted it to be) while my high score is 277 (in two games where I did not execute 3 and 2 shots like I wanted).

In disc golf the same thing happens in "casual play" when I put a simple 80 foot approach shot 18 feet off target and told it is a good shot and when the following putt hits the basket without going in, that is a bad break.

That is why I prefer tournament and high end league play since those there know the game and can relate to a bad shot getting a good result and vice versa. Unfortunately, my body often does not have what it takes to participate consistently in it at that level. That causes me to put more effort into things which in multiple occasions causes my body to struggle which causes me to practice and try even harder and eventually I have to stop and possibly get medical help.

I have also stated that my dream foursome is me and any three other people who had car trouble on the way to the course causing me to play on an empty course by myself. I still reminisce about the time after work in May, 1996 where I carried my golf clubs and played all 36 holes at White Pines in 50 degree weather while a light drizzle was falling.

Though I occasionally have days where I find a compatible person (like I did today), those are few and far between. That is why I enjoy sports best playing alone in the void.