Andy

The name Andy was my first choice for a son.

One time I answered the phone and was informed that my identity was stolen and they wanted my information so they can "fix it" for a "small fee".

Knowing what they were doing, I decided to string them along to prevent them from scamming someone else. So I told them my name was Andrew and my SSN is 382-77-4653.

When the info did not match, I stalled them before stating the number is how to spell FU ASSHOLE on a phone.

At my mom's the phone rang and she said it was her grandson who was in jail in New York City. I loudly asked if that was Andy and the person on the phone said it was.

I took the phone from my mom and said in a parental tone, "Andrew James Sherlock", what happened? I have not heard from you in a while. Are you ok?"

He started sobbing telling me he needs $500 for bail.

I asked him how he survived his mother's miscarriage in August 1999. He told me to fuck myself.