Man of Honor

In a couple of hours, I will need to leave to go to the wedding of my best friend Carrie Dahlby. I then realized that since I met my wife in January 1997, this will only be the fifth time we will both be at a wedding including our own and the first time since I got drunk in Joliet six years ago and during the Cha Cha slide gave a new meaning to the move Charlie Brown by pretending to miss kicking a football, launching my self into the air screaming AAUUGGGH! and falling on my back in the grass outside the dance floor.



Weddings I attended with my wife where I was in the bridal party, I only listed as a member of. + family means when I still lived with my parents, + guest means with my girlfriend at that time, Mr and Mrs with my wife, con attendee means at a con where anyone could watch. The wedding at the first con I attended was unforgettable and I found a picture from it. http://www.generalgeneral.com/ezine/capricon2002/capricon2002.html

Yes, that is Dr. Demento who gave away the bride, and the best man is dressed as Lt. Data from Star Trek and the ring bearer was dressed as a cow. The man in the back performed the ceremony wearing only a diaper and a crown of thorns.

My participation in the wedding was difficult for Carrie and Josh to determine. Ideas ranged from me walking her down the aisle to actually performing the ceremony. There are things done by a maid and matron of honor (both of whom she has and who looked great together at the bachelorette party) that I can't do. Carrie also wanted me to be with her to help when needed. I then realized the term man of honor would describe it best. It might not be listed like that in the program but I don't care.

Having gone through my wedding almost ten years ago when it was almost completely relatives as I really had no friends at the time and the people I worked with and played Scrabble with ignored it, it will be interesting to see my friends there in formal attire mixed with those who really have little understanding of our unique world. From what I have heard it will be 40% us, 60% others.

Since all my up front memories of my wedding are of being upset and angry, I hope that this wedding like the one I attended in Iowa by myself a few years ago will uncover the hidden good memories that are buried inside. At least I know the DJ there will not be subcontracted and won't be playing music for his 23 year old girlfriend who crashed the reception and won't ignore requests from the groom since the mother of the bride instructed him to do so.

Anyway, I just got a call from the bridal party and I have to leave now to drive someone somewhere in the city and then drive back home to get my daughter and back to the city for the ceremony.

The great American Race

Sorry about no post from last week. With my job and the bachelorette/bachelor party I attended last weekend, I had no time to make a chart or post.

Since 32 brave drivers are going to try to avoid getting wrecked by Danica Patrick in Indianapolis this Sunday, I figured this is a good time to post the miles I have driven the last 20 years without doing anything worse than scraping a double parked car while driving a station wagon on a clogged downtown Chicago street.



Yes, I am aware of the potential for irony created by this post.

FYI: (note rant to follow) People may ask why I pick on Danica Patrick. In her rookie year where she finished fourth and started to get all the publicity, she made two major mistakes at slow speed, stalling her engine in the pit and spinning the car while accelerating on a different restart. The first mistake happened under caution so she did not lose a lap. The second one caused two other cars to wreck themselves out of the race. Along with another incident where the car she touched with her tires wrecked, she took out a total of three other drivers and the last incident put her out of sequence with pit stops causing her to take the lead late in the race.

Since then her attitude has caused many unnecessary incidents on and off the track. This is why I don't like her.

NOTE: She ran an incident free race finishing third. Anything can happen

Family Circus style driving, part 5

This situation happened to me twice both times coming home from a long convention weekend. First in March 2006 and second last Sunday. I was so tired, I failed to get in the right lane to turn onto Irving Park Road to get home. Once I realized my error, I made a right turn, turned around my car and got back to the point where I made the error and continued on my way.



This situation happened last Easter Sunday while driving to Joliet (or as I like to say Zombie Jesus day driving towards removed by TMI filter ) Because of the reworked road, the ramp to head south is now the second one when it was the first one the past 10+ years and I instinctively exited off the wrong one. Once I realized my error, I got off the next exit and got my car turned around headed into the correct direction.

Unlike the previous four posts about this subject, the driver turned the vehicle around and proceeded back to the point the error was made and went the correct direction both times only delayed for about 5 minutes. The driver did not aimlessly drive around hoping to go in the correct general direction and end up 20 or more miles away from where they should be.

Maybe it would have been a good thing to drive around aimlessly and get lost last month. Then I would have not gotten sick from my mother-in-law's cooking.

We interrupt this blog for a special announcement

Right now times are tough and the idea of investing any money is a scary prospect. What would you think if I told you about an investment which has a proven track record for profit no matter how difficult the times are? Let me tell you, the people at Hardcore Gaming Incorporated have such an investment to tell you about.

HGI every year at this time does special analysis of the conditions and situation and makes an investment which has proven over the long run to be profitable and right now isn't long term security at the forefront of everybody's mind?

Here is a chart which shows you what we are stating:



See? A 233 percent profit when a 18 percent loss is the statistical average and we are talking about a 20 year span.

Now you may ask what type of people are involved with Hardcore Gaming Incorporated. Do you know of someone who can do math in his head before you type the numbers in the calculator? Or someone who can ramble for way too long about a stupid football game when you state a number between 1 and 43? No? Consider yourself fortunate. But this is the type of person whose analysis, experience, and intuition in the field is at the heart of the success at HGI.

Let me tell you, By the distance between your nose and outstretched hand the profit could have been almost 600 percent. That is a big deal, isn't it? But isn't 233 percent still worth the effort?

How to do it? Simple. There are many places which you yourself can make this investment. Just remember the name General Quarters or the number 12 and declare the amount of your future winning investment.

Now what about HGI? Easy, once you collect the return on your investment, just send us 10% of your profit. Just realize this: At the current return rate over the past 20 years you would still more than double your money.

The time you have to make this investment is running out. Late Saturday afternoon, it will be too late and this amazing opportunity won't be around for another year. Act now while you can!

Hardcore Gaming Incorporated is not responsible for any losses occurred by those following their advice. Please remember past performance is not indicative of future results.

Mr. Destiny

All but Elk Grove Village was a concert.

In 1990 a movie starring Jim Belushi was about a man who though successful in life was still feeling ill will about what happened to him during a baseball game as a kid and got the opportunity to change it. However, changing that seemingly insignificant event completely changed his life and eventually caused the main character to need to change things back to what they were as his new life was not quite what he had hoped it to be. I know other tv shows and movies had the same theme including a Simpsons episode this season.

I would love the opportunity to possibly change an event like that or more importantly change an event where I got hurt or hurt myself like when I permanently damaged the bursa sac in my left leg while bowling in a league with the best amateurs in the Chicago area 15 years ago. However, that would definitely change my current life. Even preventing me from stepping on that hot dog last September could have done something as I could imagine getting into a car accident only caused by me not being at Sam's Club later filling out an accident report.

Anyway, seven years ago this past week was a convention called ALCON III. I was real excited since Weird Al was actually going to make an appearance there unlike the one in 2000 when he was on tour. Others had seen him there at the one in 1998 where I found out about it one week after it was over.

I was there early that Friday all excited and was helping people setting up. I was helping Luke Ski get his items from his car when my camera fell out of the pocket of my Hawaiian shirt and I noticed it was cracked. I was able to snap the camera back together and it still took pictures.

On Saturday the guest of honor showed up and I got someone to take a pic of me with AL with my camera. He offered to take one with his camera because I told him what happened to mine. I declined that offer stating I got it to work.

When I developed the pictures two week later, I found out the film was exposed and none of them developed. The timing was not good either since it was a very trying time with my family.

Since then, I have had instances where I thought I could replace that picture but due to timing and one person's ignorance, I never did. (Note: That second incident and my reaction over a year later possibly changed history on the Dr Demento Show.)

Since then, I have found out that where I live makes it difficult to get backstage after a concert to meet him. There are certain people, like the one who organized the ALCONs and the two who run AL sites along with the family of AL's drummer, Jon "bermuda" Schwartz who all live in the Chicago area and join AL backstage whenever they are there. That makes it difficult if not impossible even for my friends. They at most get two passes and use them for themselves and a s.o.

At times that instance has created a problem on its own in my head especially after hearing others who by not living in Chicago are able to go backstage and get a pic with AL or having people I would not expect get a pic. It would make before and after his concerts difficult for me. I used to even think people would purposely exclude me and put me down. Maybe one did but then again, I got back at him.

Would I want to alter that moment from seven years ago? Definitely. I don't see it causing any harm though I could picture an instance similar to that of the hot dog. With AL not on tour currently, I did get the next best thing earlier this year:

My circle of golf

Simple chart, let me explain:

This pattern has followed my golfing since 1992 and gone on a four year cycle since.

Excellence, Presidential election year: I play great. All my best scores and performances have come on those years.

Injury, Presidential term starts on this year: I feel the effects of an injury which prevents me from playing the game as often or well as I did the previous year and in 01 and 05, actually needed surgery. The injuries might not have happened that year but the effects were greatest in those years.

Distraction, men's soccer World Cup year: I find something else to occupy my time in the summer. Ranging from a summer bowling league, Scrabble, my wife's illness, and conventions, I barely had the time or money to play the game.

Interest: men's Rugby World Cup year: I get involved with another type of golf like video game, on line, Golden Tee, or disc golf but reach a point where I won't get any better than I do so I turn back to real golf.

Being 2009, I am currently suffering from discomfort in my left (non surgical knee) initially caused by stepping on a hot dog I dropped in September and aggravated many times since.

Bonus: Here is a picture of my daughter and one of her teammates whose family I have known for 3 years through my daughter's karate but neither they nor us knew each other's last names:

Family Circus style driving, part 4

Map Legend:

A: My best friend's house
B: My house
C: Where my wife noticed Lamb's Farm and realized she was going the wrong way
D: Where my wife was when she called me telling me she was lost and I had to go on the computer to find out where the hell a city called Johnsburg is and guide her home from there.

Since I had to watch my nephew one night in 2006, I could not go to a play with my best friend and knowing that my wife does not get out that often and since I agreed ahead of time to watch the kids that night, I realized it would be best if she went instead of me. She has driven home from her house before so I thought she knew how to get home.

First of all, I did not realize she took Irving Park Road for almost 20 miles the previous time she did that (just like FCD3) and was driving towards my house the first time using Foster Ave which taken to the Kennedy Expressway, 190, Mannheim Rd and Irving allows me to make the 21 mile trip home in about 40 minutes.

She got on the Edens Expressway which also has a Foster Ave entrance. It took her 2 and a half hours and over 70 miles.