Since the man whose last name matches the company name on my work badge requested, I used store credit to purchase clothes and shoes to attend last night's company December party.
Here is what I experienced:
Non employee spouses or fiancees introduced to me: 24
People who asked why I am alone requiring me to explain why: 10
Combined tenure in years of two people who retired in 2017 and were honored: 86
Beers consumed: 4
Glasses of wine: 1
Minutes the alcohol in my body completely removed the pain that is normally in it: 120
Weeks since the last time I was in that situation: 108
Previous times in 22+ years at my employer I was in that situation with fellow employees: 0
People concerned about my driving home while I was pain free: 7
People who mentioned the time in 2005 where in the building I discovered that two footballs commemorating the 1972 Dolphins playoff wins had the wrong score: 3
Times I showed a pic from device to answer a question: 4
People who incorrectly claimed that John Fox was the Broncos coach when they won the Super Bowl with Peyton Manning even though I said he wasn't: 2
People who tried to get me to take a "funny" pic in the photo booth: 3
People who asked about disc golf: 3
Luke Ski reverse parodies played in a row by the DJ: 3
People who called me Kenny: 3
Times I felt obligated to reply with a non plausible greeting: 12
Facebook posts or replies made from room: 4
Facebook friend requests confirmed while sitting alone at a table while others were dancing or talking together: 1
People who played an RPG afterwords as my initial plan to watch but decided to not to do since I was in too much pain to stay as apparently the alcohol did not remove the pain in my body but banked it for when I got sober: 6
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