Wednesday, May 11, 2016


Yesterday, I went to my doctor who wanted to see me after the results of the multiple blood tests I took because I am now 50. She noticed that I am borderline on many things (still NOT diabetic) but nothing that would require me to take any additional medication.

Then it was time to address the white elephant but to be honest it was more a white Penguin/Cat combo as I was wearing my Bill and Opus for president in 2016 shirt. Though I was 2lb lighter than I was three months previously, I was still medically extremely obese as my BMI was over 40.

I told her I know my weight divided by 6.97 is by BMI which is 40.45. The doctor, impressed by my math skills, asked why am I doing what I am doing and not something like curing cancer?

I felt obligated to explain to the female of Asian descent that because my knowledge is so biased in math and science and I could not stand written fiction, my GPA would not allow me to get a college scholarship unless I provided something special to the school. Her face turned when I explained that meant I am a white male.

I then explained that even though I could do integral calculus in my head and knew 95% of the atomic table when I walked onto the campus of the Illinois Institute of Technology in August 1983, I did not know how to masturbate. All the awkward moments teenage boys go through in high school and earlier I started to have about the time I legally became an adult and the college world is not really a place for that. I then talked about how I tried to do what others said I should but to be honest, I was not socially ready at that time.

The doctor brought the subject back to my weight asking what could fix it knowing that if my weight was 1/4 lower, many of my current issues would be a whole lot better. Of course my first thought was eliminating a couple hundred pounds of burden.

I stated that I know my wife is real stupid because she married me and then tried without too many details to explain why I find myself a very disturbed individual. As a coworker once recently suggested, there are things I believe which I know if stated would get others angry with me without providing any benefit to anyone. In the past, I have stated a couple of ideas only to find that someone I know and care about would have their current or past significantly altered if my ideas were incorporated. The conversation even got dark after explaining how I got stuck in my situation but lack the courage to change it though I know many ways to get unstuck.

By the time I was done, I felt like my doctor was deciding if she should call police, the hospital or even the "men in white coats" and I did not even get to talking about the chain of ignorance she prominently displays.

Anyway, she wanted me to see a nutritionist. I stated that I know what foods I should eat and that I am fat because I eat things that make me happy forgetting for a short time the long term effect of my intake.

She then suggested what I associate as a "fat doctor". I know there is a name but like calling the grain quin-o-a, I am going to say fat doctor. Deal with it. Apparently, they do more than surgically reduce a person's intake.

As I left the building, I did not immediately throw the referral in the garbage.

No comments: