The end of days

While contemplating mortality and the estimate of my death, realized it is time to write another story. I know it begins the Saturday before my 25th birthday when death is avoided and figured the ending as such:

As the clock approaches 5:30 in the bar, the madman thanks everyone for listening to his story. He expresses regret for those he harmed having learned a long time ago that fixing the past is as futile as trying to get an egg back into the busted shell.

The crowd erupts in pleasure as he offers everyone a shot to drink with him. The madman holds up the glass and proclaims, "Half a lifetime ago, I determined this was the moment I was going to die. However, at this time, I feel well and actually am not in any pain. To 'Now what'.

"Now what", the bar patrons reply.

After putting the glass down, "I AM THE MADMAN AND HAVE ONCE AGAIN CHEATED DEATH! DEAL WITH IT!"

He immediately collapses on the floor as the stunned patrons look in shock. The view changes to a hospital room. On the white board is a note stating the exact same date. There is a loud beep that is turned off and the radio is playing in the background. "Time of death 5:32PM."

A bunch of detectives enter the room and talk to a woman sitting in a chair with a notepad. "Did he say anything about the bodies or the money?"

"For the past couple hours he was babbling incoherently. He then shouted at the top of his lungs then died."

"Thank you for your time."

While they leave the room the DJ starts to speak, "A couple weeks ago we got a letter with a request to play Joy by Apollo 100 at this exact time. So as requested here it is." The music plays while the staff starts to work with the corpse.

The madman on the loose is dead and by one person, the world is a better place.

Season recap

Due to things at my work being busy as well as a physical situation which I am grateful that it happened in mid November and not next June or early July, my 2021 disc golf season ended in early November. Though I could have tried to play a one round event or club round, need to focus on getting better especially since playing or navigating a course could make things worse.

In spite of missing many events due to multiple physical issues suffered in 2021, still played more rated rounds and earned more points than any previous year. Though my highest rated round and two others equalling my previous best round in 2018 were played this year, I have struggled overall.

The color of my rating reflects how difficult I perceived the course I played. I also decided to list the rating for an even par round for all tournament rounds only since league rounds generally have fewer players. I did not think having a hazard penalty apply for make that much a difference but the two most difficult events were on them as well as the Northwoods Park blue course event. Granted consistent wind at Round Lake and severe winds at Kress Creek made the hazard rounds worse. Even with par as I perceive it, the six rounds at 50 Acre played without high winds and driving rain were the easiest.

The rated birdies chart is based on what I believe par is for me and for the Valparaiso event, I used the event hole number as opposed to the course one since there were merged holes. Had I played the Clash pro event, would have done the same thing

Was surprised that #1 produced the most birdies.

Being the outsider

Here is a chart listing the current status of the 30 other people who share one or both of my grandmothers. Born from the early 1950s to the late 1970s through five different couples as the idea of having many kids was still common since many used to die young but thanks to medical advances, the only child medical deaths were in infancy and are not included.

Except for the one who is incapable of being in a relationship, I am the only uncoupled person among the living 27. I also believe at age 33, was among the oldest to have their first wedding.

As it has been over two years since the divorce, am occasionally asked if I am dating or interested in doing so. Though instincts work, any thought of acting upon them inspires memories that make it a bad idea so when acting upon those instincts are rejected, it is not a bad thing.

Though some memories deal with things specific to those who were in a relationship with me, many of those memories are not. Over the past ten years, have heard new terms used to describe what I generally did in relationships and to be honest, I really don't want to put someone else through dealing with the madman. The phrase "I know my ex is an idiot because she married me" is less a comment about her intelligence but more an indictment of me and that phrase itself is an example of this.

A lot of how I behave towards potential partners is still instinctive most of which was developed at home and in school by the time I was 15. There are a group of people who don't understand why I would not want to spent my birthday remembering those moments while wondering when the next person would ridicule me for how I talk, acted, or how ugly I am.

When I reluctantly joined those people a few years ago most with their partner, there were thoughts that if shared would not go over well and thanks to my reply to a generic post a few months later, one person apologized for how I was treated back then. My desire to thank in person was awkward as a another person was there no doubt to make sure I would not do anything weird.

In the 21st century, I realized some important things. First is that I will never figure out phase two to allow me to profit in phase three. When I was growing up knowing how mathematically and logistically dominant my mind is, never even realized that there needed to be a phase two.

Also realized that it makes no sense to support the political organization whose ideas currently fall in place with the 15 year old version of me. I am positive that had COVID-19 actually been COVID-2000, that I would be among the many mask/vaccine deniers who would have wanted to do what it took to prevent certain people from entering the country, casting a vote, or confirming an election that would undo many things to "make America great".

Though aware that those thoughts are dated, my instincts still kick in like wishing I registered for today's event involving whom I refer as my equivalent of Serena Williams and my "desire to prove that female pro divisions should play for less money than open ones". Unfortunately the chance to break the tie from the Thanksgiving weekend 2019 event won't happen in the 2021 event after being advised by my boss to not make any weekend plans if I am interested in earning money to pay for the ER visit and the car repair needed to make to allow me to renew my plates and to reduce the chance I slide off the road in winter.

It is also a good thing that some of the parodies I have created will never leave my brain, the lyrics to melodies I occasionally hum are not known by those around me, and that no coworker used Google to find out what I meant when referring to the coworker who kept my wife while she was in labor on hold for ten minutes while refusing to page me as "duck butter".

As my trip to Peoria was cancelled due to multiple things, thought about Windycon and trying to relive the awesome birthdays I had there. However, the nights of partying let alone staying up past midnight are in my past along with betting on horses as well as a casino trip which on this date caused me to lose my bankroll almost as fast as the complimentary birthday buffet when my attempt to emulate John Pinette to make up my loss turned into one of Mr. Creosote in the parking lot.

The thought of a strip club also happened until realizing that the idea of scantily dressed women 40% my age trying to get as much money out of me was only made worse by the idea one of them could be from the same graduation class as my daughter.

Since I need to work today at my full time job, not sure if I could get in a disc golf round since the initial special plan of Northwood Park Black is not happening. Might play before or maybe a glow club round after.

A few years ago had an opportunity and made a financial transaction to not feel alone for an hour but it felt awkward since I felt obligated to ask for permission as opposed to acting instinctively and letting someone whom I paid to be with me tell me when something is not allowable.

As personal evolvement continues in what I perceive to by the last quarter of my life, maybe an opportunity will arise and I find another person with whom I could spend time. If that happens, it will be awkward but ... no. It would only cause pain.

Being the "bad guy".

With the Disc Golf Pro Tour Championship this week, I will be once again stating that the payout will be unfair in replies about the event.

Once again me stating that the FPO getting the same top prizes and the MPO is wrong will cause people to call me out.

I will use the example of #18 at the final round at this year's Pro Worlds to show the extreme difference in similar shots under similar situations made by the 5x MPO and FPO world champions and it won't matter.

I will explain that just like in 2019 where I did not want to see the #1 FPO player play a course designed for the top MPO players and her status compared to top MPO players was similar to my status compared to the top MA50 players at the am Worlds earlier that year.

I will also explain that comparing a player half my age to me would be unfair but comparing a nine time FPO major champion who is over 50 would be and that the last time both her and I played the same course at the same time in the same event we shot the same score.

Bring it on.

Seeing the light

Many who have worked with me have seen me catch the light wrong and have problems seeing for about 15-20 minutes followed by a migraine. I have realized not turning on a light while loading or unloading a truck and wearing a hat at work helps prevent that from happening. I also realized my incidents happened when tired and being unable to get enough sleep.

Since I start at noon at my new job, have not had one this year until today:

With transition lenses, playing disc golf has never been an issue. I would wake up early anyway so I would rarely be tired on the course. However, have not slept well this week. 

On my 16th of an 18 round, was in the one wooded hole on a course on a day when it ranged from dark clouds to sunny. With my glasses clear was walking to the basket when catching the sun wrong and there was a bright light in my field of vision to finish the round. Somehow was still able to make putts and got an MA55+ birdie 3 on the flat 525 hole to end my round.

It went away before I left but it was followed by a bad migraine. I stopped for food and drank a lot of water and Coke Zero. I barely got home before my body emptied from both ends.

Tried delivering a few hours later but realized was not up for it.

Making disc golf fun

Most who have seen me play disc golf in clubs, leagues, and tournaments know I generally don't have fun playing the sport. Be it physical issues, playing 850 ability with 1050 intensity, or being an impatient old man, I usually am miserable on the course and often need assistance unloading after driving home (especially after this year's Northwood Park event) and am grateful to now start work at noon giving me a chance to be mostly functional at work the day after an event.

That leaves many to ask why would I do this? Statistics. The enjoyment I get is entering information onto multiple spreadsheets. For the 2021 season, there is one for event recap and another for rated birdies which will be posted at the end of the year.

Another one I keep is individual course data. Among listing best round and best rating at each course, also list all the different birdies achieved per course. 

For counting, multiple tees count individually as well as multiple basket locations, temp holes and baskets, and tees or baskets which have been moved. I am at 511 total lifetime holes birdied.

The other chart is overall different holes birdied per year. I keep track of date of first birdie, tee, basket location, if it is the first time getting a birdie on that hole, and disc used for the first two to get it referencing if it is a par 4 or 5, approach shot (throw in), long putt, or metal hit on drive. This year's total count is currently 183 done at 30 courses (counting the white and gold layouts at Fairfield Park in Round Lake)

This is what I find to be fun. Without data to enter from my play, no fun can be had. To those who find this weird, please refer to the title of the blog.

The next generation

FuMPFeST 2021 exceeded expectations be it music, interactions, or the fact that by resurrecting the "USS Whitehurst" for one more weekend and making multiple trips from the hotel to the airport or train stations, I felt like I was contributing to making the weekend better. To be honest, the only regret from the weekend within expectations was not taking a picture with my 21 year old daughter there which I get reminded when seeing ones taken with her at past events.

Since it was not a scifi con, late night activities were limited but since I don't drink anymore and since midnight seems real late to me now, I generally left after the main part of the evening was over anyway even on the night others were hanging out for late night activities.

My daughter is at the point where she regularly stays of late. There have been times when waking up at 3 AM to use the bathroom will hear her going strong on line.

A couple people suggested that since she is now 21 she should go to Minnesota next March to party like I used to do and stated they will make sure she is ok. My first instinct was to go there and watch her myself but realized that is not a good idea.

I generally don't stay up that late anymore even though I work until 8PM or later. My last party at a con was the weekend of my 50th birthday and by Saturday night, realized I was no longer up for doing it, and was out of the hotel by 9AM the next morning.

My focus is now on doing what I can do as opposed to watching people do what I can't. The number of times I rehearsed the babble I did during dumb parody ideas far exceeded the response I got even though I knew it was for someone who wasn't even there.

Two of the people who want my daughter to party with her are adult daughters of people I used to hang out late with and have seen awkward interactions between them and their parents at Marscon and realize my presence there would likely produce the same interaction.

One of the first things I did when going back to work after FuMPFeST was to find the date for the 2022 PDGA Masters World Championship (July 12-16) knowing that is when my next Christmas will be. Then I listened to some of the music produced by the 2022 Marscon music GOH. Even though an improved financial situation would make attending possible, other than seeing some people I have not seen in 5 years, there is no reason to go.

FuMPFeST 2021 was awesome and if it is my last event like this, it was a great way to end a portion of my life.