Lose is a four letter word

The title of the post refers to a song by a group called Power Salad which is about Cleveland sports futility as well as people who make spelling errors. http://www.thefump.com/fump.php?id=1423

Since the Cleveland Browns won the last title for the city in 1964 and with the Cleveland Cavs in the conference finals, I figured now or never to figure the mathematical odds of the three Cleveland sports teams in the top level of the sport not winning a championship for 50 years.

As in the past, I figured out the odds of the team not winning in a specific year and multiplied them. When divisions and conferences or leagues had equal number of teams, it was easy. When that wasn't the case, it was more difficult like when the Cleveland Browns were in a four team division in a 13 or 14 team American Football Conference from 1970-1981 and from 1983-1994.

When conferences had an unequal number of teams, I figured out the chance of winning the conference and multiplied by 2 like the Indians from 1977-1992 who played in a 14 team American League while there was a 12 team National League.

Cleveland Cavs

1971-1974 -  16-1
1975-1977 -  18-1
1978-1988 -  22-1
1989             24-1
1990-1991 -  26-1
1992-1995 -  28-1
1996-2014 -  30-1

Total odds - 6.64-1

Cleveland Indians

1965-1968 -  20-1
1969-1976 -  24-1
1977-1993 -  28-1
1995-2012 -  88-3
2013-2014 -  30-1

Total odds - 6.40-1

Cleveland Browns

1965             14-1
1966-1969 -  32-1
1970-1975 -  320-13
1976-1981 -  176-7
1982             28-1
1983-1994 -  176-7
1995             30-1
1999-2001 -  312-9
2002-2014 -  32-1

Total odds - 6.36-1

Complete odds 270-1

I was surprised that the Cavs who started playing 5 years later had the highest odds of the three teams of going without a title but the NBA expanding a few years later than MLB of the NFL along with no MLB champ in 1994 and no NFL in Cleveland from 1996-1998 was the difference.

No Canada

Yesterday, the Montreal Canadians lost to the Tampa Bay Lightning and became the last Canadian team eliminated from the playoffs. The Canadians were the last team to win the Stanley Cup in 1993. I decided to figure out the mathematical odds of that happening like I have did in the past with the Cubs, Lions and Blackhawks.(Cubs now at 237-1 with no title since 1908)

As the makeup of the NHL changed over the past 22 years, so has the yearly chance of a Canadian team winning the title.

1994, 95 -                8 out of 26
1996 -                      7 out of 26
1997, 98 -                6 out of 26
1999 -                      6 out of 27
2000 -                      6 out of 28
2001 through 2004 - 6 out of 30
2006 through 2011 - 6 out of 30
2012 through 2015 - 7 out of 30

Doing the math, it comes out to 214-1. I was surprised it was so high.

Logan analysis

The seven nine jurors have made their selections and the top five in each category have been announced and I have thoughts about them so I am writing this to get those thoughts out of my head.

For music video they are:

CBS Follies - Bitch in Business
Epic Rap Battles of History - Sir Issac Netwon vs. Bill Nye
Rhett and Link - I'm on Vacation
Weird Al - Tacky
Weird Al - Word Crimes

The ERB and Tacky videos I have seen and would have not been considered if I had a vote. There were only a couple of ERB vidoes over the years that I would have condsiered and this one is nowhere close to either of them even with Weird Al playing the Newton part. I found the Tacky video the 5th best of the 8 that Weird Al released last year. I did watch the CBS and Rhett and Link videos having not seen them before and found neither of them funny at all.

I was initially surprised Paul and Storm's video This Song was not a finalist and even more so when I was told Paul Saborin was added late to the juror list making all their 2014 work ineligible for the award.

Though Weird Al only appears in a drawing in the video, I found Word Crimes superior to the other nominees as well as any video made last year.

For original song they are:

the great Luke Ski — Fake Adult
Mikey Mason — Last Day at Work
Mikey Mason — Settle
Power Salad — Ama­zon Drone
Worm Quar­tet — Fueled by Angst

I was surprised that Dr. Demento's #2 song of the year, Monty Python's Silly Walks Song was not a finalist. I like all 5 songs but only Luke's and Worm Quartet's were in my top 5. Over the past couple of years, this has become the category with the most songs one would find worthy of winning.

Luke's song finished #1 on Dr. Demento in 2014 and I am hoping that like the previous year it ends up winning a Logan Award as well.

For parody song they are:

The Boobles - Have Natural Es
Carrie Dahlby featuring Wyngarde - Almost Parent Time
Devo Spice (feat. Power Salad) - Snack Bar
Kyle Kalligren and Tony Goldmark - Kill the Mouse
Weird Al - Word Crimes

When I first heard Carrie perform Almost Parent Time at Marscon 2014, I said the robot cat statue might as well be painted pink for the 2015 awards even knowing Weird Al was releasing an album in the summer. Then I saw the video for Word Crimes. Even without the video the song is far and away better than any parody I heard from 2014 including Carrie's song which I found better than any individual parody released in 2012 or 2013.

Having three out of the nine jurors being female left me surprised only 1 1/2 of the 15 finalists are female unlike last year where an all male panel (including me) produced 5 female finalists out of 15.

costumes and chickens

I needed to get something for a costume for Erin and since it is not October, we ended up heading into Chicago proper at the Chicago Costume Company located at Cicero (4800W) and Montrose (4400N).

It was weird pulling into the 6 stall parking lot behind the building as it involved a ramp from the street. When we got out of the car, we heard a sound that you just don't hear in Chicago. I looked and saw a chicken coop with at least one dozen chickens.

We walked around to the front of the building and noticed the costume shop shares the building with a store that sells golf equipment. I was amazed by everything they had from masks to props to wigs to full outfits and they had the thing my daughter needed for less than the price I saw on line. I had to take one pic inside the store:

Marscon 2015 by the numbers

People in the vehicle: 6
People in vehicle when it arrived at my house Wednesday night: 2
Temp Fahrenheit Thursday morning: 0
People picked up downtown Chicago after Amtrak was almost 3 hours late: 2
Extra miles driven to go downtown: 42
People who ate at IHOP on Thursday night: 11
Different states those people call home: 6
Max people who could sit it either hot tub before it overflowed: 5
Number of ice machines on the room floors of the hotel due to construction: 0

Minutes spent getting pair of shoes at Mall of America: 5
MOA Food places closed due to renovations: 4
Places in Mall of America that sell Coca Cola: 0
Years I have taken a picture of my left hand giving the finger to a Pepsi logo in the south food court: 5
Dollars spent on "premium" Cold Stone Creamery vanilla ice cream cone with no toppings: 6
Pocket and actual phone calls made to/from my sister before we got a hold of each other: 5

Stairs from 1st floor lobby to 2nd floor: 18
Stairs from 3rd floor room to 2nd floor: 19
Times I used stairs on Friday causing my left leg to be in pain the rest of the weekend: lost count
Dollars spent on hotel stand cheeseburger/chips/Coke meal three times over the weekend: 9
Dollars spent to register for weekend though I was in January informed in an email which I foolishly erased that I was registered: 60 (I sent the email unsure if I registered. Since I can't confirm that I registered, I had to pay.)
Flyers taped or reattached while opening ceremonies sketch was rehearsed: 30
People I saw use the schedule flyer to find out what performance is when: 5
Hours it took for Pizza Hut to fail to deliver since the driver could not find the correct hotel: 2 1/2
Times Bill Putt said "oil can" in opening ceremonies sketch: 12
Number of concert spots changed due to travel issues and one cancellation: 4
Guys who Carrie will never sleep with who headed towards stage as she did that line: 14
Songs in Sponge Awareness Foundation Air Supply medley: 5
People in "sex" section: 2
New Devo Spice videos (including one still in production): 3
Different beers consumed on Friday: 2
Different mixed beverages tried in Klingon party room: 6
Times person mistook a written letter on a Klingon mixed beverage for a number or vice versa in a five minute gap: 2

Number of people doing aerobics in the pool Saturday morning: 13
Number of children in the pool about the time it ended: 15
People who attended first ever afternoon showing of Dementia wrestling: 35
Wrestlers who were booed as they were introduced: 2
New items in Luke Ski's opening bit: 6
Songs in new Luke Ski video that he finished late Wednesday night: 2
Points in Q*Bert that Luke Ski's high score is less than mine: about 18,000
Songs in TV Kyle's show that were written before February: 1
People that joined Power Salad on stage during Corned Beef and Cabbage: 8
Of them those who danced instead of drinking coffee: 7
Age of Tony Goldmark, the youngest person with a main stage concert: 31
Songs Rob Paravonian did that I had heard before the weekend: 1

People I knew who I saw do karaoke on Saturday night: 8
Times I looked at a karaoke book and had to remind myself "NO!": 2
Times I heard someone I didn't know perform in karaoke Carry on Wayward Son after a clip of that song was played during opening ceremonies: 2
Adult beverages consumed on Saturday: 0 (all alcohol needs to be out of my system for 24 hours when I take my arthritis medication which I was planning to take Monday)

Times I matched Luke Ski's answer in the four Match Game style questions he answered as a panelist in the Flopcast panel: 3
Times I matched another performer's answer in the same game out of 28 total answers: 3
Songs performed in the FuMP Jukebox: 5
Songs performed in the Smackdown: 15
Smackdown songs that the performer created: 2
Smackdown songs covering another artist who was there: 2
Smackdown songs created on stage: 1
Total artist merch items purchased: 4
Artist merch item that became available on line as he got on the stage: 1
Percentage of artist merch by all artists on the table that I own (or purchased) once I download that artist's item: 100

People from Marscon who ate at Khan's: 34
People who joined group for dinner realizing a performer was in town: 1
People excited by that person who took a pic with him: 3
Difference in cost of meal in cents on two different tables serviced by two different waiters depending on beverage ordered: 1 or 5
People who participated in what has become an annual Sunday night podcast taste test panel: 11

People at Monday morning breakfast: 19
Increase of cost of Monday buffet breakfast in dollars from Sat or Sun without anything else being in it: 4
Podcast episodes played on ride home: 2
Total musical albums played on trip: 7
Temperature Fahrenheit when back at my place: 52

Breaking out the white

I recently realized the only time I wear t-shirts that are white is at Marscon. Normally I don't like white shirts as they get dirty easily but Marscon has become the exception. Here is a list of the shirts I wear exclusively (for the most part) there:

Bus shirt: As the Dementia Bus (named either the Whitehurst or the Blindwulf) was the popular way to get there in the late 00s, in 2008 we needed two of them and Sara was kind to drive the other one. Luke drew a pic of all 15 people who were on it that year and it was turned into a shirt that seems to get smaller every year but I still wear on the Thursday we head to Marscon.

The artist shirt: In 2008, probably the craziest and wildest Marscon (at least from the pictures from it; then again when a platoon of soldiers join the Saturday night party scene what else would you expect), the theme was Press Start to Continue. Luke drew every performer as a character from a video game and Bill turned that into a shirt which people could order. Every year Luke has continued that and every year, I order a shirt and Spreadshirt was kind enough to replace mine after the initial one had a printing error. This is the image from this year where the theme is Heroes, and Wizards and Fae, Oh my:

Note: Lindsay Smith drew it, Kyle Carrozza inked it and Luke Sienkowski colored it. I wear the current years and a couple past years shirts periodically during the weekend.

New this year is a white version of the shirt advertising the Marscon Dementia track.

On Saturday night dinner I wear a shirt my daughter got me with the phrase burp loading along with a status bar.

Late on Saturday, I wear the shirt with the logo of my radio show that Luke drew as me. That is the shirt I am wearing in my profile pic.

In the after con group pool gathering Sunday night, I use my white Worm Quartet "official nipple covering apparatus"

In the past I have worn my white Dementia Radio t shirt which for some reason I lost and was hoping would find when I moved but didn't and since 5 performers from a convention called Dementia 2001 will be there there might be a pic of people who were there and I need to find the white shirt from there to pack.

I even wear a few non white shirts there. Why do I wear so many in one weekend? The excitement of the weekend (and in the past the alcohol) causes me to sweat more than normal and I change shirts often for my (and others) comfort.

I will never watch another "Super Bowl"

First of all, this is Ken Sherlock. My computer and account were not hacked.

Those who know me are aware of my knowledge of the game known as the Super Bowl. I can rattle off what team beat what other team, all the game MVPs mentioning the two players (Harvey Martin and Randy White) shared the honor in #12, most likely the score of the game, and something else most people don't know about it.

So why the title statement?  I am aware I think ... unlike others (pause intended). In my lifetime, the Super Bowl has changed from the championship match up of the American and National football league winners to the championship of the merged National Football League in 1970 played on a Sunday afternoon to a Sunday evening multimedia extravaganza event with celebrities having an on field presence choked to the brim with sponsorship causing people who don't care about the game to mock it or provide deliberate alternate programming.

I am not interested in the National Anthem which has been forever ruined by Whitney Houston on coke sounding like she had a vibrator between her legs causing others to try to make it from doing their "special" version of the song most annoyingly Chicago Blackhawks performer Jim Cornelison who has made a career out of over singing one fucking song and grandstanding by pointing at the flag. Thanks to the military presence that has occasionally been paid to show, the National Anthem has also become a recruitment tool as well.

I don't care about the momentum changing fucking halftime show and to be honest if Weird Al Yankovic was performing, I would not want it though I would probably watch a recording of it later. Commercials? No, no, no, NO! To be honest if there is a commercial I want to see, I can watch it later online.

To me that is what the Super Bowl has become and I don't want that any more. I only want to see the game between the AFC champion and the NFC champion to determine the league champion especially when both teams had the best regular season record in their conference.

I realized that I can watch the game without the pageantry, commercials, and bullshit that has lessened my enjoyment of the game. I have a DVR. After the coin toss, I can pause the game for about 25 minutes, take care of other things off line, then watch the game skipping the commercials which advertisers paid millions for the rights to display. When I have to pee, I pause and take my time. When it is halftime, I will pause the tv and spend about an hour doing something else. In the past I have played Rock Band, shoveled snow, or played a board game. The second half I will do the same thing and skip commercials.

From this moment forward, I will do my best to stop using the term Super Bowl or the roman numerals. That name was not used until #3 and coined after hearing a kid playing with a super ball. In the future I will watch the National Football League Championship Game.