Being a madman

Though I was first called the madman after starting a bench clearing brawl in the late 1980s, the violent angry man wasn't just confined to the field.

I was in my early 20s, angry, alone, believing I was going to die before I reach 25, and with a hatred towards the Catholic Church from a dozen school years of being lied towards. My boss at 619 S. Wabash in Chicago told me to see someone or get another job.

The last appointment the Wednesday before I turned 25, I thanked my psychiatrist for help and stated I will die before the next appointment which he was skeptical.

The Saturday before, I was told I could leave work early if I get everything done so I finished the first half of the restocking a half hour early and walked a block north to get lunch.

While eating at work, I heard a loud rumble outside:

Had I taken my lunch at my normal time, I could have been on the sidewalk when the bricks fell from close to 150 feet high.

My psychiatrist was shocked when I told him this story and he asked: Now what? Then him and I were able to work on what to do.

Almost 35 years later, I had a sobering reminder of who I was as someone with a similar situation but with the equipment I was unable to to get back then took out their anger on a church full of students who were lined up. With the plan, I am surprised only two students were killed.

I owned a gun for a little while and there was a situation where I could easily use it but realized it would have not been successful to the degree I would be satisfied and by passing on that, things eventually lead to a desired outcome.

When I state the best way to prevent people from firing dozens of shots in a minute is to make it difficult for people to get the device, I say that from personal experience.

My situation from the late 1980s was definitely examined when I went to therapy last year concerning the reason it was offered to me. Many people have noticed the change including some who didnt know I went.

With what was done, I am comfortable that the 20th century version of me will stay there with the intensity that inspired the nickname only active on the disc golf course.