Saturday, July 8, 2017

Unexpecting the expected

The title of the post refers to a song done by a California comedy music artist named Dino Mike whose most recent CD ANALBUM  had a song that was a 2016 Logan Award finalist, Urban Dictionary, and a song called Beamer whose video won the 2017 Logan Award last month.

The song can be heard here:

The song has a label called Squick (unlike the explicit stag which means profanity) which means that there are concepts in the song that can really gross people out.

The song is an upbeat positive jingle from the point of view of an abortion clinic doctor featuring a whole bunch of puns that are in poor taste. I have wanted to make a video for this song for the FuMPFeST video contest but lack the person behind the camera as well as a couple of extras that are needed.

Wanting to kill time on a day off work without feeding me face, I decided to walk 2+ miles each way to the Wood Dale Police Station to drop off empty prescription bottles even though I drive past it to go to my job. I know that my town has that also but their container is only open during weekday business hours so I left about 11AM.

While walking down Irving Park Road past the many places where I can get food, I realized that there might be people protesting outside the abortion clinic as they have done for years. Knowing that there is an open field which can shorten my walk a block each way if I walk past it, I continued in that direction.

There were only two ladies on the main sidewalk and as I passed them, one offered me a pamphlet about "the joy that I could receive from being a member of the Christian church". I politely declined and with my back to them as I continued on my way one told me to have a blessed day to which I instinctively replied, "Not plausible".

I then heard both of them yelling but due to the traffic and my hearing I could not make out one word which was probably for my best. I then had a decision to make. On the way back do I avoid them and add a block or two on my walk back since Irving Park Road is not a true east-west street here or head back the same way I came since if they have a right to stand on the sidewalk and harass people who have decided to make a difficult decision, I have the same right to use that sidewalk as well. .

Knowing what they could say to me, I rehearsed my replies including listing the 12 years of Christian education that I received, asking if their protests have even caused one person to change their mind (though it is possible that their protests might prevent others from going there), and explaining that not plausible means that though the concept of eternal salvation is something only an idiot would not want to get, there is no tangible evidence to support that concept and using the Bible to support your claim is as meaningless to me as someone using a Little Men book to prove that Mr. Tickle exists.

I also considered pretending to be on my phone talking about that evening's Vatican City style drug fueled gay orgy but put the phone down and calmly walked to that location only to find that those two ladies moved to a different part of the sidewalk not along Irving Park Road to harass customers. The sun being in a different part of the sky might have caused them to move but I really hope that they moved to avoid me.

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