Banned

Last week, I turned on my XBox 360 to get the new Paul and Storm song for Rock Band making that the 500th different track that could be played on my system. (Paul and Storm also provided the previous song I downloaded to my hard drive which was the 500 track as I have 2 copies of We are The Champions)

When I signed into my username I got a notice stating my XBox 360 console was permanently banned for violating their terms of service. When I called XBox support, the person told me my Live account is still valid but my console (replaced with a brand new one in September 2008 after the one purchased in December 2007 suffered the red ring) is no longer allowed to access Live and that I need to replace it.

After explaining that I did not modify my console (which is what causes consoles to be banned) and that I have no idea how to even attempt to do so I was told this ban could come from playing in a modified game and that they cannot connect me to someone in enforcement and that I cannot send my system to them since they won't touch a midified system. They also advised me to go to Gamestop since they have a deal where I can now get an extra $40 credit for my used one. (Still would cost me $225)

Explaining this to others including 10 XBox Live players along with comedy musician Insame Ian who worked at Gamestop created the same WTF response having never heard of that before. Josh was able online find a possible scenario as playing Call of Duty with someone who modified his system to allow symbols in his gamer name and him hosting the game where I played.

If that is the case, it is fucked up. That means this could happen again anytime I play a game on line and paying $70/year for Live membership to download and play Rock Band DLC only is really not worth it since my Rock Band DLC will only play when I am Live.

As I was trying to get to the XBox forum on the computer I explained my computer is slow since I spent money on my XBox instead over the past 3 1/2 years. I decided to figure out how much.



As gifts I have received $100 in points cards (including one $20 card won on ebay with a $50 bid) which are included in the costs on the list and 2 microphones that are not.

Initial purchase included Xbox elite (120GB) system and replacement plan, Rock Band with drums, mike and guitar, and Guitar Hero 3 with guitar.

Rock Band purchase includes discs for 4 other versions, microphones, guitars, replacement kick pedal, keyboard (purchased with RB3) and DLC.

Marketplace purchases include Call of Duty DLC, themes for my system and games downloaded directly to my console HD.

Though I have spent an estimated $2,500 on my system out of my pocket I am not wanting to spend $225 more since I feel like Microsoft banned my system just so I would be forced to get a new one. Fortunately, I did get an offer to switch my console with an old one used by someone's kid who does not play live.

Those Jedi nights

In 2005, the great Luke Ski wrote and 13 minute 41 second piece titled "Grease Wars". It tells the story of Star Wars episode IV, A New Hope, using parodies of songs from the movie Grease.

When I first heard the title accidentally blurbed to me, I knew this could be special and on the first time I saw it performed in April at Penguicon done with Carrie Dahlby (who was dating Luke at the time), I knew it was.

Over the next 18 months, I went to many conventions with Luke and Carrie and watched them perform Grease Wars together numerous times. For a while I was keeping count and still remembered it after they stopped performing the piece and were no longer a couple.

Occasionally, they still perform the piece and at Gencon 2010, they performed it to a very enthusiastic audience. For Nerdapalooza in July 2011 in Orlando, Luke asked Carrie to join him in Orlando to perform it there and when they did the piece at Duckon in June to prep for it, I was asked how many times I saw it live and really had no idea. Even with my memory, the number of times I had seen it was forgotten in the 4+ years since it was performed at every show.

Luke and Carrie now do a podcast together called "Luke and Carrie's Bad Rapport" which I am an occasional guest (Let's call Ken) where I generally babble occasionally making some sense. When they were discussing their performance of Grease Wars at Nerdapalooza with fellow performer Insane Ian, the subject of the number of times I saw Grease Wars live was discussed and that I had lost count.

I felt obligated to recount. With the help of my LJ, I figured which cons I attended from Penguicon 05 through Windycon 06 and how many times was the piece done at each one. I also recalled the events past Windycon 06 where it was done and though I am not 100% positive of counting every performance, I can now confirm 49 times. The map lists the number of times by state:

Last seen the song performed on 8/16/2014

The first number in each state is the different events I have seen it and the second the number of performances. (Note: If I saw it done at the same convention in different years, I counted that as 1 event.)

One in millions

I play the lottery for a few weeks or a month at a time whenever the jackpot makes it worth my time and money. This gives me the opportunity to dream about what I could do if I conquer the odds.



Since the multi state games became prominent the Illinois Lotto game still exists and with its jackpot being over $20 million for at least a month and with its chance to win a life changing jackput 17-19 times better, it still seems that no one I know plays it but instead plays the multi state ones.

Even today as I purchased my state lotto game ticket, someone walked in and played the multi state ones at $75 and $100 million.

Has it gotten to the point where people are no longer comfortable with the idea of winning a $29 million jackpot but want one that is 3-4 times more? Personally I would find a way to survive the rest of my life with winning a $2 million one and realize it is best to put my money into the less unlikely scenario which creates a far greater chance of having the jackpot won by a resident of the state I live.

In the swing of things

Yesterday afternoon, I did something I have not done since July 2007, played golf. Though I have played at the Top Golf driving range, I have not been on a course in 47 months and have not hit a golf ball since last Fourth of July weekend when my left leg collapsed on the downswing and I almost fell off the second level.

When I got there, I was told there was a spot and I could basically walk up and play. I got the the par 3 first hole, sleected a 6 iron because the wind was in my face, took two practice swings and hit the ball as I felt a jolt in my left leg. The ball flew exactly as planned hitting the ground three feet from the pin and ending up 10 feet. I shook my head in disgust and screamed, "I HATE this game!."

Why do I hate the game? I am good at it but can't play golf more than every once in a while and if I play too much, my left leg starts to hurt and stops providing support to my swing.

The rest of the nine holes were in less pain and I also noticed that by having 30 lb less my swing was better than it has been in a while as the ball ended up left of where I would aim since my swing path was better. After holing out from 30 yards for par on the 8th hole, I ended up +7 on the executive 9 hole course.

That score is better than most people but still less than I expect as someone who played in the Cook County Amateur golf tournament 10 times. Here is a list of my results by year:



The one year I withdrew after nine holes on a sprained ankle since my girlfriend was ill and I was not playing well enough to qualify anyway.

I have been asked numerous times why not ride a cart when I play? The problem with me playing golf is not walking the course. It is the failure of my left leg to properly support me as I transfer the weight from the right leg to the left one during the downswing. This is caused by the bursa sac injury I initially suffered bowling in 1994 which after enough swings causes discomfort, pain, and eventually failure or even collapse.

To answer the next question: Playing left handed won't work either since my left leg would not support me on the backswing.

Reliving the golden era

When watching baseball, my father would occasionally complain about what happened in the 1954 World Series between the Indians and the New York Giants especially in game 1 where the Indians who went 111-43 in the regular season lost the game due to the unusual shape of the Polo Grounds where the game was played; an event that cost him a lot of money.

This week, I was looking at you tube and noticed a new video posted by Power Salad, a group which had the number one song on the Dr Demento show a few years ago and one that features a lead singer who is older than me as opposed to the many who are from 8-13 years younger. Along with people spelling lose as loose, the song is about Cleveland sports futility and the way their sports teams lost famously over the years. After hearing the song, my first thought was why no mention of 1954 then I realized those who were alive then are now very old and would not get it.

I then decided to analyze the two significant plays from that game one being the Willie Mays famous over the shoulder catch.



Most people have seen video the play or this picture.

The other one is the game winning tenth inning home run by pitch hitter Dusty Rhodes (no relation to the wrestler). Thanks to you tube, I saw the video and as my dad described it, it barely cleared the wall down the right field line.

So what does the Polo Grounds have to do with this? The ballpark is shaped like a paper clip with the batter standing at the end of one curve and centerfield at the other. This made the foul poles at 275 in left (with the upper deck haning over the field at 250 feet) and the right field line at 258 feet. In every other park, including Cleveland's the ball is caught easily in the field of play. No current park is allowed to have a foul line under 300 feet and this guideline prevented Indianapolis in the 1990s from attempting to have a team play in the RCA dome since that field would have had a 290 foot one.

What made up for the short foul lines was center field. Dead center was 483 feet from the plate and where mays caught the ball the wall was 430 feet away. That ball would have been a home run in most other parks and in all but two today.

Here is a diagram of where those balls landed in the Polo Grounds and about where they would have been in Cleveland:



As with many things, timing is the most important aspect of all.

The reverse parody

This week someone posted on Facebook the songs Weird Al is parodying on his new CD coming out this summer. I looked at the list and stated just like the Lady Gaga song there was an issue with, I did not know any of the original songs so Weird Al's parodies will be like original songs to me just like many from his previous two albums.

The person said I had to have heard of those songs and I explained that I stopped caring for current music in 1991 after Whitney Houston got famous from her horrible rendition of the National Anthem before Super Bowl XXV where it sounded like she had a vibrator shoved up her cunt and that I only hear current songs when they appear on a Rock Band disc, are something someone (usually my daughter) asks me to download for Rock Band or when someone makes a parody of them.

About 5 years ago I coined the term "reverse parody" within my group of friends referring to any original song where one hears the parody first as that was a common experience for me when I started listening to my friends songs most recently hearing Bruno Mars song Grenade when I first heard Insane Ian's parody called Bob-omb. I also specified that a reverse parody is only specific to the person listening to the song and will be different for different people.

Thinking about it, I looked at the FuMP website and looked at every parody that was released in 2011 including the multiple ones in one medley of songs and noticed a pattern:



FYI: The only 20th century song I did not know the original was Rapper's Delight and only know of Snoop Dogg (What's My Name) because someone asked me to get it as a DLC for Rock Band shortly before he released a parody of it. The only 21st century song I know is the Double Rainbow Song. Though I know of Stacy's Mom, I first heard the parody Harry's Wand.

People do not age on their birthdays but in specific moments throughout the year. This is definitely one for me.

Turkey football

May at my work has for the past several years involved printing things for the upcoming football season and it becomes interesting looking at how the same basic image of fans in the piece changes depending on the team and the association via photoshop or replacing certain people in the picture to accomidate specific fan bases.

I then wondered about printing schedules since the NFL is in its third month of their lockout and the season is currently not guaranteed to play at this time since adding 2 games is one of the issues between the owners and players. I then remembered the Dolphins are scheduled to visit Dallas on Thanksgiving so I know my wife will be miserable on that day like she was in 2004 when the Dolphins beat Dallas as the networks usually choose since the famous Thanksgiving game played in snow in 1993.

With the current schedule and the yearly switch of the Detroit and Dallas Thanksgiving games between networks, I know the Dolphins (and the other 3 AFC east teams) have a 50/50 chance to play on Thanksgiving in years they play in Detroit or Dallas which currently happens once every 8 years. (I could post another paragraph or two explaining why but you have to trust me on this)

So I wondered about the odds of the Dolphins playing on that day. The chances are 1/8 * 1/2 for Detroit or Dallas and 1/4 * 1/8 to play the night game in Denver or 1/16 +1/16 + 1/32 or 5 times out of 32.

Well what about the Bears? They play in Detroit every year but only half the time could that game appear on Thanksgiving so that chance is 1/2 * 1/6 or 1 in 12 (in those years, any one of 6 NFC teams play in Detroit). They play in Dallas once every 6 years due to rotation and have a 1 in 8 chance of playing in Dallas due to their standings on 2 of 3 years. Those odds are (1/6 + 1/8 * 2/3) * 1/6 or 1 time out of 24. They play in Denver one year out of 8 and have a 1 in 8 chance of being the opponent selected so that is 1 out of 64. So the chance is 1/12 + 1/24 + 1/64 or 9 times out of 64.