Still fat

Having lost over 40 pounds since November 2015, 25 since August 2016, and 15 this year, many have complimented me on how I look. Though I appreciate the compliments, I am nowhere near satisfied.

Today, I realized that in the 3.1 mile stretch on Irving Park Rd between York Road and Prospect Ave along my work commute, where I shop, or where I walk that there are about 35 places where I could walk into, give someone money, and get food to eat right away. Some days it does become difficult to not stop at them but avoiding those places most of the time is the main reason things have improved for me since August.

Over a decade ago, two things happened which I remember like it was last week. At Mount Olympus in the Wisconsin Dells, there is a large water slide which passengers lay forward on a mat. My six year old daughter was just tall enough to ride so we climbed the 3+ stories and she went first. When she was done, she turned around to me and gave a thumbs up which the person at the top of the slide had to confirm for me.

Then I went down. It was more intense than I anticipated and when I stopped at the end of the slide, I looked up and saw the life guard running in my direction giving me a dirty look. As she passed me, I looked behind and realized that I forgot to account for Newton's second law of motion. When I got to the bottom of the slide, I was carrying more momentum than my daughter and went significantly farther and displaced more water. My daughter who was still walking to the end of the slide was knocked down by the force of the wake I created. She was stunned but was ok.

In 2007, at Universal Islands of Adventure, there was a brief shower and when it ended, we were near the entrance for the Hulk roller coaster which was temporarily shut down for the rain when it reopened. I gave my glasses to my mom who agreed to watch my daughter so I can go on one ride during the week I was in Orlando which was not suitable for a 7 year old girl.

After 15 minutes in a line which is normally defined in hours, it was my turn and the person at the ride told me seat three in row 6. I went to that row, saw that the last seat was open and sat there. When I pulled down the restraint, I noticed that it would not lock. When I mentioned it, the person at the ride was upset with me since I did not follow her instructions and after unlocking the entire ride, I switched seats and the harness worked.

After the ride was done, I noticed with my poor, unaided vision blurry letters on a sign, walked up to it and read:

Certain passengers with special situations will be required to sit in the middle two seats in rows 3 and 6.

 

I then realized that due to my weight/size, I had to sit in a "fat seat".

 

What I weighed during those two occasions is about what I weigh now.





Reverse parody going full circle

In May 2000, I went to the Elk Grove Village Holiday Inn for a Weird Al fan convention as it was only a few miles from where I lived. There I met a whole bunch of people whose music interests were similar to mine and for the first time in my life, I had people who can call friends as opposed to coworkers, teammates, club mates, or opponents.

The most memorable musical moment performed by other people who did comedy music who were there involved what to me was an original rap song about Star Trek in which each verse covered a different incarnation of the show along with a verse involving the character Q who appeared in different versions done while wearing the appropriate shirt during each verse and rapidly changing outfits during the chorus.

What I did not realize about the Luke Ski song "What's Up Spock" is that it is a parody of a song by a group called the Fu-Schnickens called What's up Doc (can we rock) which is a song I still have never heard.

Once I started listening to the rest of his work and then helping him at conventions I discovered that even though he was born only 8+ years after me (the day after the Miami Dolphins led by MVP Larry Csonka won Super Bowl 8 and haven't won a title since) his taste in music is completely different from mine and it shows in the parodies he has done.

Then I started to hear songs played by others on radio that sounded a lot like songs done by Luke as well as other artists like Devo Spice (and later Insane Ian, Dino Mike, and Weird Al) in which I know the parody but not the version I was hearing. I coined the phrase "reverse parody" to explain the point of view of someone hearing the original song after hearing a parody version first.

Inspired by a person who was not familiar with the Madonna song Vogue upon hearing Luke's most recent song Rogue (about the female characters in Star Wars), I went to https://lukeski.bandcamp.com/ and went through all his parodies discovering that if multiple parodies of the same song are discounted, that there are 100 parody tracks which made this chart easier to make.

On June 18th, I will see Luke perform at FuMPFeST at the same hotel I saw him perform when my now 17 year old daughter was an infant. I am not going to count the total number of times I saw him perform but I would guess at is at least 150. With him now storyboarding cartoons for audiences in the thousands (instead of a somewhat disinterested group on Sunday afternoon at a con) and me deciding to focus my time, energy, and money on doing something I can while dealing with physical pain as opposed to watching others do what I can't while I sit uncomfortably in physical pain, it could be the last one.

Thoughts of a still obese man

Current weight/BMI: 259/37
Nov 2015 max weight/BMI: 298/42.6

As an assignment to the weight loss program at work, I was instructed to read a chapter in the manual called the eat-repent-repeat cycle. It referenced concepts including instinctive eating, completely denying foods, and using exercise to justify or punish poor eating.

The last time I checked off so many things that applied to me, I was looking at a picture of a sign that listed things that would condemn people to eternal damnation.

I also came to realize that where I now spend my time doing the thing that inspires me to get off the couch at 5:15AM has impacted my weight.

In the past, one of the things I found comforting about conventions like Windycon near Chicago, Penguicon near Detroit, Gencon in Indianapolis, and mostly Marscon near the Minnesota twin cities is that my obesity, pain, and physical problems were usually less pronounced than many there and I often found myself helping those who were worse off than me.

When playing in disc golf tournaments with people who are younger and physically fit, I am the old man who is always hurting and can rarely finish a tournament without having a physical issue.

Over the past dozen years plus, I have seen changes in many of the people at conventions. Some have passed on partially due to their physical issue while others have been successful in transforming themselves with medical help or even on their own.

One of the benefits of deciding to avoid conventions or even board game days is the food involved. The two I attended in 2016 involved me eating at over 12 different places over four day spans. Board game day is at a restaurant. Going to those places does not work for someone who even though is almost 40lb less than his high point, still has a long way to go.

On the outside

The Saturday before Marscon, I felt a twinge in my right knee getting out of a low chair. A couple of hours later I developed a noticeable limp and by Monday, I could barely put any weight on the leg.

The orthopedic doctor who saw my x-ray had sobering news. Though there is a sprain, the arthritis flare-up in my knee is a far greater issue. The official x-ray report stated grade III which means significant. For reference, my knee was grade II in 2012 and grade IV is the point where a joint replacement would be possible. This likely means any attempt to get better at disc golf has a limit due to my situation.

Since I was going to be off work due to my medication, I tried to figure out how to get to and stay at Marscon. I had an offer for a ride on Thursday morning but needed to figure out where to stay.

Got a message from someone on Tuesday asking about me driving and after I explained my situation, he stated he was not going. I passively asked a couple other people who stated they had no room either so Thursday happened and I was home.

When the person I would ride with arrived on Thursday, there was somewhere for me to stay but public transportation did not work so I packed clothes on Friday and took off in my car but my leg got numb after an hour behind the wheel and I turned back home. I then also realized I could have ridden with someone on Friday who lives near where I turned around.

On Saturday, the person on Tuesday arrived and stated he had an extra bed in his room as well. My mood went from sad and frustrated to angry since had I known his status, I would be there right now.

To be honest, I should have been more aggressive about finding a roommate by Wednesday to avoid being to the point I am currently at.

The 2017 lineup

Two weeks away from Marscon 2017, I am still unsure if I am going but I am going to rate the events there as I have done for many years anyway as far as my POV.

Concerts:

Friday:

9:00 pm – CARRIE DAHLBY concert (last seen FuMPFeST 2016) B: It is possible that similar to many of those who have performed for over the last decade that there will be something new. Three years ago her Marscon performance debuted a song that was #5 for the year on the Dr. Demento Show as well as a Logan Awards finalist. I edited the grade from a B- after hearing her concert plan.

9:45 pm – MIKEY MASON concert (Last seen Marscon 2014) A-: Due to timing and circumstances, it has been a while since I saw a full show of his since I was busy helping Luke when he was performing at Gencon.

10:30 pm – MARC WITH A C concert (Never seen) : I have heard his act mentioned numerous times over the years but have never heard any songs that he has done. I know Luke Ski would have not given him a main stage slot unless he felt it was deserving.

11:15 pm – DEVO SPICE concert (Last seen Marscon 2016) B+: Usually this spot features a performer whose content is worthy of a late slot night but there really is none this year.

Saturday:

2:00 pm – POWER SALAD concert (Last seen Marscon 2016) B+: If I don't end up making the trip, I will miss out on the chance of talking with him about our lives and concerns for the world in which we live.

2:30 pm – INSANE IAN concert (Last seen Marscon 2016) B: It is not his fault that my daughter who can't make the trip this year has the ability to appreciate his work more than I do.

3:00 pm – TV’S KYLE featuring LINDZILLA concert (Last seen Marscon 2016) C+: At conventions, his music works best but I am more interested in hearing him talk about the CN show Mighty Magiswords in his Sunday panel as it is his creation.

3:30 pm – THE GREAT LUKE SKI concert (Last seen Marscon 2016) B+: The 2016 music guest of honor as well as the person who created and runs the music track will be performing at Marscon for the 15th straight year as well as talking about Mighty Magiswords.

4:15 pm – LIBRARY BARDS concert (Last seen FuMPFeST 2016) B+: The surprise of last year's FuMPFeST will be making their Marscon debut.

5:00 pm –  Guest Of Honor JUDY TENUTA (Never seen): I have known who she is for years. I have seen clips of her act and well as other things she has done but never her full act on stage.

Sunday:

2:30 pm – THE FUMP JUKEBOX concert C: I am glad this exists.

3:00 pm – DEMENTIA SMACKDOWN concert B-: Musically it is fine but the timing of the event means that things are ending.

Prop time 2017

Tomorrow is the championship game of the NFL and similar to past years, these are the prop bets that I would make if I had the money. As usual, my bets are focused on the football game and nothing else (broadcast, unnecessary entertainment, or babble).

NE -3 (-120) $360 win $660
Under 59 (-120) $240 X
NE -7 1/2 (+200) $100 X
NE over 30 1/2 (-140) $140 win $240
ATL under 27 1/2 (+110) $100 X
NE wins 7-12 (+550) $100 X
Brady MVP (+160) $100 win $260
Brady over 305 pass (-125) $125 win $225
Blunt td (+150) $100 X
Bennett TD (+150) $100 X
Edelman TD (-125) $125 X
White TD (+300) $100 win $400
Tot FG 3 (+300) $100 X
TOT TD 7 (+450) $100 X
NE TD 4 (+325) $100 win $425
ATL TD 3 (+300) $100 X
Ryan more pass yd (-125) $125 X
Freeman less than 54 rush (-115) $115 X
Jones TD (-150) $150 X
Coleman TD (+130) $100 win $230
Sanu TD (+160) $100 X
Jones most rec yd in game (+175) $100 X
First score TD (-165) $165 win $265
NE first score (-125) $125 X
ATL last score (-115) $115 X
2 point conversion made (+175) $100 win $275
NE TD first score (+175) $100 X
NE first score TD (-165) $165 X
ATL first score FG (+125) $100 X
Bennett first TD of game (+1200) $100 X
Bennett first NE TD (+600) $100 X
Coleman first ATL TD(+600) $100 X

Total wagered: $3,860
Winnings $2,980
Loss: $880

Bowling for points

My work has two things currently happening which are irritating to me separately but when combined causes me to waste time creating a post so I don't end up yelling at people.

In an effort to inspire fitness rather than reward those who are fit, my company has integrated a new points system based on individual physical activities for their fitness challenge. After a week and a half, I have seen results that others posted which I question but there is one category which I know there are multiple incorrect listings.

That is the entries involving the company bowling outing which due my decision to focus on disc golf in 2017, I decided to not attend. Since the results are broken down by type of activity, I can easily determine what people entered what amount for bowling since before the outing, my disc golf entries (incorrectly listed on the site as frisbee golf) was one of four people to have entered a sports related result.

What is incorrect was something I anticipated and even mentioned to others beforehand is entering the wrong activity level since every activity has five different intensity levels involved. From helping a coworker enter his league bowling stats, I know that bowling one hour is worth 11 points on a leisurely level.

There are multiple entries which have either 44 or 55 sports points which would mean 4 or 5 hours at the leisurely level which when a person between frames sits down, drinks a beer, and or eats pizza is how it should be rated. Those people all rated their workout as moderate, the mid level, which doubles the per hour points. Moderate level bowling is about 15 minutes per game and not the 40-50 minutes those who were there were doing. As someone who has bowled 8 games in an hour, I know what moderate paced bowling is.

After mention this to some people, I was in an email told to stop. I agree to do so but attached a picture of those who were engaging in "moderate physical activity" sitting on a bench.

Since I walk on a treadmill multiple times in a week, I know walking at 3.0 MPH equals 41 points per hour or 13.7 points per mile. That means bowling 3 games in 2 and 1/2 hours at a moderate pace would be the same as walking 4 miles in 80 minutes. Anyone can see how those two activities should not be considered equal in activity.

The Sunday after I made the post, I played 2 total hours of disc golf by myself at two different places walking 4.8 total miles. I initially logged 2 hours of low intensity at what the site incorrectly calls frisbee golf and got 64 points. At a 20 min /mile pace, I also checked to see how many points I would get by just walking 4.8 miles which would take 1 hour 36 minutes and found out that is 66 points. Since having to carry a 12lb bag over terrain while throwing a 170g object at high speeds 48 times should add to the total points of a workout and not decrease it, I realized that when playing alone, disc golf should be recorded as moderate pace which in this case gives me 86 points. I also corrected the intensity level of the entries I have made in the past to accurately reflect what I was doing.

If anyone questions the large amount of points that was recorded by me over the past weekend, I will direct them to this post which was inspired by obvious errors others made.