LOL gaming

I initially wrote this in January but never posted it since there were topics on every week. As I did not think of anything this past Thursday, I was going to post this but did not get a chance. Here it is now:



While playing the last story in Left 4 Dead 2, (yes I finally got around to it) I noticed a jukebox that looked like it was working. I hit the action button and it took a disc and appropriately since I was in New Orleans the song "When the Saints Come Marchin' In." I tried it again and it changed to a couple of songs by the fictional group created for the game. The third time a very familiar tune started to play. "Re: your Brains". The Jonathan Coulton song I downloaded for Rock Band and have an autographed shirt with the lyrics.

I was laughing so hard, I needed to pause the game. Since the song is written from the point of view of a zombie and since the game was created by the same company that made Portal in which Jonathan Coulton wrote a song, I can see it happening. (I also discovered later that by hitting the jukebox, the Song "Still Alive" which was the song written for Portal will play.)

That got me thinking about other moments like that:

I enjoyed Grant Theft Auto before most people heard of it. The first two versions had an overhead view of the game and included a mission where you got a bus, picked up people, dropped them off at a hot dog processing plant, and delivered hot dogs among other new things like kill frenzies and finding out personally why someone was named El Burro (the donkey).

What got me was a mission where you had to show two hookers whose in charge. After getting the instructions on where to go and what to do, giant words appeared on the computer "Slap them Bitches". For some reason my wife did not think it was as funny.

When I was a kid, one cartoon I always watched was Wacky Races. It featured cars based on stereotypes such as cavemen, gangsters, soldiers, and a pretty but dumb woman. For some reason I liked the #9 car driven by Peter Perfect.

It was only recently watching the rerun on Boomerang at 7AM did I realize the car was shaped like a giant penis as it won a race as he was able to stretch out the front of the car after it was crunched.

Anyway, they created a Mario Cart type game based on the Wacky Races and I had to get it. When facing the 00 car of Dick Dastardly, as the time counted 3, 2, 1, it took off at the 2. I had always wondered since that car had a jet engine, why did he bother to try to mess up the other racers especially when he was in the lead anyway?

Shortly after the first Madden football game was made, EA created Mutant League Football. It was 7 on 7 featuring mutant replications of many current and past football teams featuring players like Reggie Fright, Joe Magician, LT Impaler and Bones Jackson. Players when hit too hard would break into pieces and even referees could end up as part of the carnage.

One of the plays allowed you to bribe the referee who would call phony penalties against the opponent. Of course it could be countered by killing the ref. One time after engaging the bribe ref, one of the players from the other team farted and the ref called a penalty for excessive gas.

Ok. Maybe it was not that funny or I guess you had to be there.

still not diabetic

I have been told that I am diabetic for over 30 years though every blood test I have taken, including the three I have taken in the past twelve months, have stated that I am not. However, one ignorant person still insists that is the case.

Anyway, after explaining a couple of months ago that half the people on my cel phone contact list who are neither related nor work with me work in computers, I thought about making a chart to show it. It took me a couple of months to do so since sitting down on my computer has been painful with the muscles in my upper left leg initially injured in 1994 and reinjured when I had my knee surgery in July 2009. Having gone to the park district fitness center the past 6 weeks, the pain I had sitting down now occurs more while on the machines and not during the rest of the time.

Though the idea of running a 40 minute 5k in 2010 is still not likely, it was nice last Friday to be able to run past my daughter without a limp for the first time since I stepped on a hot dog in September 2008 or play kickball on Saturday without limping or stumbling around.

Anyway, here is the chart:



Computer people have jobs ranging from installing lines to writing software to the person you talk to when something goes wrong. Non computer jobs range from office to retail to performing music to one of Lord Farquaad's henchman at the Shrek 3D ride at Universal Studios Orlando.

Over the past 2 1/2 months, though I have added about 5 non computer names, the 50% claim I made in February was still not valid but the statement that I can contact someone who knows more than I do and possibly solve or diagnose a problem is valid. There are also people on my contact list who do not have a job with computers but are computer savvy including the people who put together the videos I have posted on this site and six music artists that use them to assemble and mix their songs.

Why I got a haircut

On Sunday April 25, I was waiting for a call from my best friends Luke and Carrie to record a segment for their audio podcast called "Luke and Carrie's Bad Rapport" (www.badrapport.com) as a feature titled "Let's Call Ken" is a semi regular part of each episode.

When I got the call, I was asked to go to Luke's house to record in person and to bring my daughter with me. Confused, I saved the XBox game I was playing and drove 25 minutes. When I got there I realized what was up and this is the finished product: (Note, there is some adult language in the video)



(The Let's Call Ken segment starts at the 1:50 mark; no adult language in that part. The puppet of me appears in another part of the video starting at 5:10. That part is the one with a bad word stated about five times.)

As it premiered on May 1st live at the Penguicon convention in Troy, MI, I realized it would be best for me to match the puppet's haircut so that is why I got my hair cut when I did since I usually go to conventions with as long of hair as possible.

I took a picture with the puppet on the 24th. Once I get a copy, I will add it.

Note: The day I posted this I had to write a commercial invoice and this came to mind:

con travel

I apologize for no post last week. After spraining my ankle stepping on the cat and with being busy and tired from work, I was not up to making a chart.

This weekend I will be driving to Troy, MI for Penguicon 2010. The con was created for open source programming (Linux) but to me it has become a great place to hang out with friends, to listen to music, to collect ribbons and to drink to the point where at 2:30 AM you are playing Guitar Hero against a person dressed as a Roman soldier as both of you are bellowing the lyrics to Free Bird. This year the music chairperson has over 15 hours of scheduled music planned and it should be a fun weekend.

I started to wonder how many times since I went to Marscon 2004 have I left the Chicago area for a convention and figured out this will be the 42nd time. The breakdown by state is as follows:



I did count Merillville, IN as outside the Chicago area since it took me 2 hours to get there on a Friday afternoon and the three Illinois ones in the chart are for one in Rockford and two near St. Louis. (the Chicago area con chart will be another post)

My attendence at those cons ranged from showing up to just to watch and help Luke Ski do a show to getting there on Thursday, staying four nights in a hotel and leaving Monday.

America's worst driver

Until I was inspired on Tuesday, there was going to be no chart.

Here is a video clip from the April 17th show premiering on the Travel channel at 7PM central time. This features Chris and Timm Waffle, the members of the comedy band Hot Waffles.



In the picture of the group from Marscon posted last month, he is the one lying on the floor.

Family Circus style driving part 7

This happened Tuesday evening. I got a phone call and had to drive 2 miles to help wife who had a car problem.



I had to go to the gas station and pay 6 bucks for a can since I was not comfortable pushing it over train tracks not knowing when the commuter train would arrive.

P.S. She did not realize there was a gas station there until I told her since she usually does not go to it.

P.P.S. She did not call me until after On Star said it would take 45 minutes for them to help her.

I did run out of gas one time in 1996. After working 4AM to 4PM and taking 90 minutes through normal Chicago area traffic for that time of day to drive home, I was so tired I left the engine running even though I locked the car door. It was not discovered until the next morning after a frantic search for the one set of car keys which was discovered in the ignition of the car which was no longer running after using the quarter tank of gas that was in it ten hours before.

two topics in one

As it is 2010 and my year for the activity that distracts me from golf, my wife's recent participation in the Shamrock Shuffle inspired me to state that I could easily do a 5K run in 40 minutes. (In April 2009, I posted a chart called my circle of golf which explains why 2010 is my year of distraction. I can't get the Html to work correctly to provide a direct link)

The responses have mostly ranged from concern about me hurting myself to doubt, to laughter, and to stating that people who run 5 kilometer races generally don't eat vending machine cheeseburgers at nine in the morning. I decided to try to do it without telling anyone in my family so I can show them the result of me doing a 40 minute 5K and with many good things that happen in my life or any time I make an undisputable point get the awkward silent response from them.



Yes, the chart is based on about 3.1 X minutes/mile. I would need to average 12:52 per mile to make it in 40 minutes.

I realized that to accomplish that goal that I would definitely need to train and since my legs mainly suffer from lack of fitness, I decided to join the park district fitness studio for three months and if I have not injured myself or got disgusted with it, to continue from there. I have realized that there will be pain in my life but if I work out there, the pain will only occur in that room and not every minute like it can happen now.

This Tuesday, I left work, changed into my decent gym shoes and shorts and went inside. I then realized over the next half hour that my fitness level is significantly worse than 2006 and my 40 minute goal is likely not going to happen.

At least I won't have a reason to try to overdo it. If this allows me to hurt less throughout the day, then it will be a benefit.

I also discovered that someone created a Facebook group about people who grew up at the park where I played tag football. Looking at pics I noticed one taken in 1990 of my former teammate who was the starting center of the team that won the 1986 championship.



A few years later we were on different teams and as he caught a point after touchdown conversion in the end zone I knocked him down as hard as I could in an effort to get my lethargic teammates going. When he got up and punched me as hard as he could, the benches emptied.

Though he was tossed out of the game and suspended for the next one, we were ok with it. He was surprised that I knocked him down and that his punch did not knock me down let alone out. His teammates were pissed at me and the rematch would have been interesting had I not hurt my knee the following game.

The game after that I cost my team a touchdown on a kickoff by protecting myself instead of trying to fight through a block and realized that it was time to do something else.