My not so Normal World

t shirt time

2012-01-25T09:30:00.000-08:00

As become a custom at Marscon, there is a shirt with the music performers in cartoon form based on the convention theme. This years theme is rocking the apocalypse and here is a pic of the design that was created by it:

FYI: The music guest of honor, the Consortium of Genius, are the ones operating the machine causing the apocalypse as their schtick is that are evil geniuses bent on overtaking the world or destroying it if they can't. Also the creature carrying death while drinking a can of Shasta is Superhorse, the member of the comedy group Cirque du So What which was created when the group was ret conned. (You would have to hear the track to completely understand.)

Style over substance

2012-01-11T13:00:00.000-08:00

This week, the Marscon 2012 musical lineup was announced. I have noticed there are acts whose ideal and concept are greater than their performance (or how I would imagine it) but first my letter grade ratings and preference of artists of how I would want to see them at Marscon 2012.

A+:

Seamonkey - It has been over 3 years since I saw him perform and I was very happy to hear he will be there. Having the late night Friday spot is ideal for him as his material is for mature audiences only.

Devo Spice - His act is a perfect combination of intelligent lyrics, sound music and complimentary video and I know he has changed his setup to prevent it from getting damaged like last year. No one I know has traveled more miles to Marscon without being a guest of honor. Hopefully that will soon change since he is as deserving as Worm Quartet was in 2011.

A:

Worm Quartet - Last year's GOH put on a show worthy of that title and I know it will be awesome in 2012.

Possible Oscar - Though they have done shows without the full band, it is different in their home MSP area. Hopefully Nathan will be there but it will be great even if he doesn't go.

Circue Du So What? - Sketch comedy quartet will no doubt be performing material from their CD which will be released at Marscon 2012 along with the sketch (and song) which will be repeated many times by fans as they travel up and down within the hotel.

B:

The Great Luke Ski - Why a B? First of all, I get to see him perform multiple times a year so the Marscon show is not as special to me as others (especially the Gencon non masquerade show). Since he runs the event from the music point of view, participates in the opening ceremonies sketch and Dementia Wrestling Smackdown along with many other things, it can take away from his ability to do his best show. Having his concert on Sunday could also be an issue since Marscon weekend can put a strain on people and their voices.

Power Salad - Always produces a good performance. Glad he is returning to the stage after being unable to go in 2011.

Dino Mike - Was a pleasent surprise when I saw his act a few years ago.

C:

The Gothsicles - Their first Marscon performance was amazing and I cannot imagine a Marscon without hearing the Konami Code played. However, for me, except last year when I was experiencing the drunk adrenaline filled feeling of invincibility, the song does not produce the same reaction as it did in the past. It will be the first time seeing the group without DJ EYG.

Now those whose style seem to overshadow their performance:

C:

TV's Kyle - He is a very funny and talented person and I am glad he will be returning to Marscon as he fits in very well in support of other acts. However, when he was the main one on stage last year, his inexperience showed. No doubt, he will be more comfortable in 2012.

The Consortium of Genius - The 2012 music guest of honor also known as the COG (COG!) was an act I wanted to see since I first saw them advertised in Luke's DVD. The idea of a group of evil geniuses as a musical act was something I wanted to see and was filled with anticipation when I saw them take the stage at Dragon*Con in 2006. Twenty minutes later, I walked away confused wondering if I was the only one who found them bad.

The following day while manning Luke's table, I had a chance to speak with the person who plays the part of their leader Milo T. Pinkerton III and he stated that he felt bad about how they stunk it up on stage since Hurricane Katrina prevented them from getting the rehearsal they were hoping to get.

With that knowledge and after hearing the songs they have released on the FuMP, I am going to give them a fresh chance to impress. I enjoy hearing from them via Facebook, You Tube, and on the Funny Music Podcast and am hoping they live up to the GOH status.

DD:

the Boobles - First of all, I really like the idea of the Boobles. Parodies of the greatest rock and roll band in history (the Beatles), songs about breasts (duh), and appreciate the idea of their profits going for breast cancer research. Their website www.theboobles.com also takes the idea to the next level with pictures, logos, and even their CD called the Pink album. Thay have raised close to $3,000 since their project started.

Why the unfavorable rating? When I got my CD, I played the first song and heard a Beatles parody about boobs. Then I heard another Beatles parody about boobs, then another... I am not sure how that will transfer to a 30 minute show and if it will go over well on a Saturday afternoon with a potential all-ages audience.

I do admit that I am not a fan of the early Beatles and that most of the Boobles songs are parodies of early Beatles work which for me can get real repeatative.

If someone who was interested in purchasing 5 CDs from table 27 (the Marscon music performer table) at Marscon and was asking me what to get, I would definitely recommend getting the Pink album among them.

I Can't Go For That

2012-01-06T14:24:00.000-08:00

I have never liked the group Hall & Oates. To me it signifies the worst of the 80's style of music. In spite of that I still married the woman I did even though it is her favorite group. I have learned taht you fall in love with people and not ideals.

Anyway, they played in a concert in downtown Chicago in 2002 and since she did not want to pay for parking I took my kid to my mom's house and picked my wife up at the theatre after. This is what I saw leaving the theatre:

She has seen the group play at many places nearly as much as I have seen Weird AL.

Last month, Harmonix announced that the group was coming to Rock Band in 2012 along with announcing 2112 by Rush was coming. Every Friday, I wait to see what new songs become available for Rock Band and today the announcement was made and after reading one comment talking about how gay the music is and another 12 telling that person off, I decided to post a comment on Facebook which I usually do.

I also failed to mention that if my wife now shows more interest in the game, she might decide to look back over the past 18 months or so and ask me to download some songs I would rather not play let alone pay for.

An hour after my reply I checked Facebook, saw this, and reacted:

Hopefully by posting this I can get their songs out of my head. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

bad rapport

2011-12-20T08:55:00.000-08:00

My friends Luke and Carrie do an audio podcast called Bad Rapport where I am a semi regular person in their segment "Let's Call Ken."

In April 2010, they recorded their first video podcast with puppets where a puppet of me makes an appearence:

I spent 3 days last week recording the second one which was posted today:

Thanks to my computer, I am not sure if the video works on decent computers. When I get to one I will see if it works correctly and change it if necessary.

Three and out

2011-12-04T06:25:00.000-08:00

In 1996, I was playing blackjack on the second floor non smoking section of Harrah's Northern Star casino riverboat cruise. Though it was not like the time I lost 12 hands in a row I was not ahead.

As with what was happening that evening, I was dealt an 18 but the dealer had a 10 which means I would win only 1 out of 3 times. The last player before the dealer had a 13 and instead of taking a card which is considered mandatory by all blackjack instruction manuals, decided to stand being afraid of going over 21 which will lose 5 out of 6 times while drawing will win about 40% of the time. (Yes, I figured out those odds when I started playing blackjack in casinos in 1993)

The dealer uncovered a 4 and then drew a 6 making 20 taking most of the money off the table. I was so upset about what that player did, as the dealer was about to pass out the first card of the next hand, I looked at him and while pointing to where the first card was going to be placed in the same voice I now use when I want to get a point across to my daughter sounded "TEN!".

The smugness of being correct wore off while the hand was being played and I thought to myself, "What the fuck am I doing?" It was not the first time another player, including one who split 5s two times in 10 minutes, aggrivated me at a blackjack table. I knew I had enough and after winning that hand collected what chips I had left and walked away realizing that watching others playing blackjack with me irritates me so much that it is no longer worth the effort to play and I have never played regular blackjack at a casino since. (note: I have played embellished versions of the game but not one hand regular blackjack)

I hit the point of "TEN!" in fantasy football in October 2007. Though the competition was never "fun" I have played the game increasingly angry over the past 4+ years most notably when I spent the evening of opening weekend this season in the ER due to chest pains or when I sent multiple emails complaining about 2 extra points from a blocked kick that was only deflected being given to my opponent in a week where I won by 35. My anger over fantasy football has even materialized when hearing about other leagues and their formats and decisions people make in those leagues. Things got to the point where I want to know what is happening during every game ASAP especially during the 7 out of 13 Sunday afternoons this season I was not home watching the games.

Last weekend, my fantasy team, the Misfit Demons (named after the Mutant League Football representation of the 1972 Miami Dolphins) clinched their third straight division title having their best season ever. I was unhappy with how the draft went since I missed out on a number of players I wanted and ended up limiting myself due to making a mistake in the third round. However drafting the best scoring RB in the second round and the second highest scoring WR in the 6th round along with the top one in the first more than made up for that:

In spite of my dominance this season, I was nervous about winning the division until late Sunday afternoon when I clinched this week's victory which gave me the division title and the #1 playoff seed. Since I put in the effort that others don't, I have gotten to the point where victory is the only acceptable option and anything short of a division title would be a complete failure.

The obvious question is "Why does it matter how other people play?" People making mistakes in blackjack allows casinos to have rules that provide a smaller house edge against me. Needing to take off my shoes to count the number of times one of the other teams in my league has an injured or bye week player in their lineup increases my chance of winning over a 14 week span even if it might determine who I face in the playoffs. My fantasy team this year benefitted from other teams releasing players who I had in starting lineups and discovering the 49ers defense was good before others. I also know that if everyone else in the league puts the same committment into fantasy football that I do then my chances of winning would be based on luck and timing which is the exact reason I quit playing Scrabble. To be honest, I really don't know why it matters; I just know it does.

Eight weeks ago when my team was 5-0 and I was upset about the league, I realized it is time to cash in and walk away like I did 15 years ago. The money I can win from playing fantasy football does not compensate me for the time, energy and effort I put into everything especially considering that I need to send a $100 copay to the hospital for the ER visit last September.

On Sunday, I told my daughter I am not going to play fantasy football anymore after this year and she asked me why. I told her it gets me too upset. She said it makes sense.

more movie time

2011-11-30T08:32:00.001-08:00

The cable company as a sign of thanks to its customers (or as a way to try to get more business) last weekend had all the movie channels free along with other channels I usually don't get. Just like last time this allowed me to see some movies I have not in a while and to see some I have not seen before. Along with going to a theatre on Saturday and monthly cool movie night, this is what I saw over the previous 5 days:

Pulp Fiction: Have seen it many times before. Did not realize that the people who played Mr Orange and Mr Pink from Reservior Dogs were in it until I saw the credits.

Men in Black: It is too bad they felt necessary for a sequel.

Ocean's 11 (2001): Still get Brad Pitt and Matt Damon confused.

Megamind and Dispicable Me: Megamind was the movie Dispicable Me tried to be.

Toy Story 3: Never seen it before. Understand why it was nominated for best picture.

Harry Potter Hallows (part 1): Knowing what was going to happen, I was not enthusiastic about the movie but still enjoyed it. I was surprised that people were discussing before the movie came out where they would split the book as the point it ended seemed perfect.

Tron (2010): After an unimpressive half hour I was waiting for Olivia Wilde. After 10 minutes, I changed the channel knowing I wasted 40 minutes of my life.

The Muppets: Saw @ theatre. Though I enjoyed the Muppet Show, I never cared for the movies. Though the movie was ok, it was nothing special.

Plains, Trains and Automobiles: I had never seen it before. It was weird seeing Steve Martin as the straight man most of the time and it worked. Though I knew what was going to happen, it still was funny.

Madman on the road

2011-10-19T13:07:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend at Con on the Cob in Hudson, OH, I needed to drive comedy musician Insane Ian among others from the restaurant back to the hotel so everyone could get ready for an event. On the way back I stated he was the 10th musician I have driven.

Actually he was #12. I figured it out and came out with a map to show which state I drove which person.

Some of them I drove once or twice only a short distance from either a restaurant or store to a hotel or from an airport to a hotel and others I have driven over 400 miles to a con.

Banned

2011-09-10T04:29:00.000-07:00

Last week, I turned on my XBox 360 to get the new Paul and Storm song for Rock Band making that the 500th different track that could be played on my system. (Paul and Storm also provided the previous song I downloaded to my hard drive which was the 500 track as I have 2 copies of We are The Champions)

When I signed into my username I got a notice stating my XBox 360 console was permanently banned for violating their terms of service. When I called XBox support, the person told me my Live account is still valid but my console (replaced with a brand new one in September 2008 after the one purchased in December 2007 suffered the red ring) is no longer allowed to access Live and that I need to replace it.

After explaining that I did not modify my console (which is what causes consoles to be banned) and that I have no idea how to even attempt to do so I was told this ban could come from playing in a modified game and that they cannot connect me to someone in enforcement and that I cannot send my system to them since they won't touch a midified system. They also advised me to go to Gamestop since they have a deal where I can now get an extra $40 credit for my used one. (Still would cost me $225)

Explaining this to others including 10 XBox Live players along with comedy musician Insame Ian who worked at Gamestop created the same WTF response having never heard of that before. Josh was able online find a possible scenario as playing Call of Duty with someone who modified his system to allow symbols in his gamer name and him hosting the game where I played.

If that is the case, it is fucked up. That means this could happen again anytime I play a game on line and paying $70/year for Live membership to download and play Rock Band DLC only is really not worth it since my Rock Band DLC will only play when I am Live.

As I was trying to get to the XBox forum on the computer I explained my computer is slow since I spent money on my XBox instead over the past 3 1/2 years. I decided to figure out how much.

As gifts I have received $100 in points cards (including one $20 card won on ebay with a $50 bid) which are included in the costs on the list and 2 microphones that are not.

Initial purchase included Xbox elite (120GB) system and replacement plan, Rock Band with drums, mike and guitar, and Guitar Hero 3 with guitar.

Rock Band purchase includes discs for 4 other versions, microphones, guitars, replacement kick pedal, keyboard (purchased with RB3) and DLC.

Marketplace purchases include Call of Duty DLC, themes for my system and games downloaded directly to my console HD.

Though I have spent an estimated $2,500 on my system out of my pocket I am not wanting to spend $225 more since I feel like Microsoft banned my system just so I would be forced to get a new one. Fortunately, I did get an offer to switch my console with an old one used by someone's kid who does not play live.

Those Jedi nights

2011-08-17T15:16:00.000-07:00

In 2005, the great Luke Ski wrote and 13 minute 41 second piece titled "Grease Wars". It tells the story of Star Wars episode IV, A New Hope, using parodies of songs from the movie Grease.

When I first heard the title accidentally blurbed to me, I knew this could be special and on the first time I saw it performed in April at Penguicon done with Carrie Dahlby (who was dating Luke at the time), I knew it was.

Over the next 18 months, I went to many conventions with Luke and Carrie and watched them perform Grease Wars together numerous times. For a while I was keeping count and still remembered it after they stopped performing the piece and were no longer a couple.

Occasionally, they still perform the piece and at Gencon 2010, they performed it to a very enthusiastic audience. For Nerdapalooza in July 2011 in Orlando, Luke asked Carrie to join him in Orlando to perform it there and when they did the piece at Duckon in June to prep for it, I was asked how many times I saw it live and really had no idea. Even with my memory, the number of times I had seen it was forgotten in the 4+ years since it was performed at every show.

Luke and Carrie now do a podcast together called "Luke and Carrie's Bad Rapport" which I am an occasional guest (Let's call Ken) where I generally babble occasionally making some sense. When they were discussing their performance of Grease Wars at Nerdapalooza with fellow performer Insane Ian, the subject of the number of times I saw Grease Wars live was discussed and that I had lost count.

I felt obligated to recount. With the help of my LJ, I figured which cons I attended from Penguicon 05 through Windycon 06 and how many times was the piece done at each one. I also recalled the events past Windycon 06 where it was done and though I am not 100% positive of counting every performance, I can confirm 46 times. The map lists the number of times by state:

I will be updating this every time I see it performed ; Last seen 10/15/11

The first number in each state is the different events I have seen it and the second the number of performances. (Note: If I saw it done at the same convention in different years, I counted that as 1 event.)

One in millions

2011-06-29T19:49:00.000-07:00

I play the lottery for a few weeks or a month at a time whenever the jackpot makes it worth my time and money. This gives me the opportunity to dream about what I could do if I conquer the odds.

Since the multi state games became prominent the Illinois Lotto game still exists and with its jackpot being over $20 million for at least a month and with its chance to win a life changing jackput 17-19 times better, it still seems that no one I know plays it but instead plays the multi state ones.

Even today as I purchased my state lotto game ticket, someone walked in and played the multi state ones at $75 and $100 million.

Has it gotten to the point where people are no longer comfortable with the idea of winning a $29 million jackpot but want one that is 3-4 times more? Personally I would find a way to survive the rest of my life with winning a $2 million one and realize it is best to put my money into the less unlikely scenario which creates a far greater chance of having the jackpot won by a resident of the state I live.

In the swing of things

2011-06-13T16:56:00.001-07:00

Yesterday afternoon, I did something I have not done since July 2007, played golf. Though I have played at the Top Golf driving range, I have not been on a course in 47 months and have not hit a golf ball since last Fourth of July weekend when my left leg collapsed on the downswing and I almost fell off the second level.

When I got there, I was told there was a spot and I could basically walk up and play. I got the the par 3 first hole, sleected a 6 iron because the wind was in my face, took two practice swings and hit the ball as I felt a jolt in my left leg. The ball flew exactly as planned hitting the ground three feet from the pin and ending up 10 feet. I shook my head in disgust and screamed, "I HATE this game!."

Why do I hate the game? I am good at it but can't play golf more than every once in a while and if I play too much, my left leg starts to hurt and stops providing support to my swing.

The rest of the nine holes were in less pain and I also noticed that by having 30 lb less my swing was better than it has been in a while as the ball ended up left of where I would aim since my swing path was better. After holing out from 30 yards for par on the 8th hole, I ended up +7 on the executive 9 hole course.

That score is better than most people but still less than I expect as someone who played in the Cook County Amateur golf tournament 10 times. Here is a list of my results by year:

The one year I withdrew after nine holes on a sprained ankle since my girlfriend was ill and I was not playing well enough to qualify anyway.

I have been asked numerous times why not ride a cart when I play? The problem with me playing golf is not walking the course. It is the failure of my left leg to properly support me as I transfer the weight from the right leg to the left one during the downswing. This is caused by the bursa sac injury I initially suffered bowling in 1994 which after enough swings causes discomfort, pain, and eventually failure or even collapse.

To answer the next question: Playing left handed won't work either since my left leg would not support me on the backswing.

Reliving the golden era

2011-06-09T19:00:00.000-07:00

When watching baseball, my father would occasionally complain about what happened in the 1954 World Series between the Indians and the New York Giants especially in game 1 where the Indians who went 111-43 in the regular season lost the game due to the unusual shape of the Polo Grounds where the game was played; an event that cost him a lot of money.

This week, I was looking at you tube and noticed a new video posted by Power Salad, a group which had the number one song on the Dr Demento show a few years ago and one that features a lead singer who is older than me as opposed to the many who are from 8-13 years younger. Along with people spelling lose as loose, the song is about Cleveland sports futility and the way their sports teams lost famously over the years. After hearing the song, my first thought was why no mention of 1954 then I realized those who were alive then are now very old and would not get it.

I then decided to analyze the two significant plays from that game one being Willie Mays famous over the shoulder catch.

Most people have seen video the play or this picture.

The other one is the game winning tenth inning home run by pitch hitter Dusty Rhodes (no relation to the wrestler). Thanks to you tube, I saw the video and as my dad described it, it barely cleared the wall down the right field line.

So what does the Polo Grounds have to do with this? The ballpark is shaped like a paper clip with the batter standing at the end of one curve and centerfield at the other. This made the foul poles at 275 in left (with the upper deck haning over the field at 250 feet) and the right field line at 258 feet. In every other park, including Cleveland's the ball is caught easily in the field of play. No current park is allowed to have a foul line under 300 feet and this guideline prevented Indianapolis in the 1990s from attempting to have a team play in the RCA dome since that field would have had a 290 foot one.

What made up for the short foul lines was center field. Dead center was 483 feet from the plate and where mays caught the ball the wall was 430 feet away. That ball would have been a home run in most other parks and in all but two today.

Here is a diagram of where those balls landed in the Polo Grounds and about where they would have been in Cleveland:

As with many things, timing is the most important aspect of all.

The reverse parody

2011-05-22T15:27:00.001-07:00

This week someone posted on Facebook the songs Weird Al is parodying on his new CD coming out this summer. I looked at the list and stated just like the Lady Gaga song there was an issue with, I did not know any of the original songs so Weird Al's parodies will be like original songs to me just like many from his previous two albums.

The person said I had to have heard of those songs and I explained that I stopped caring for current music in 1991 after Whitney Houston got famous from her horrible rendition of the National Anthem before Super Bowl XXV where it sounded like she had a vibrator shoved up her cunt and that I only hear current songs when they appear on a Rock Band disc, are something someone (usually my daughter) asks me to download for Rock Band or when someone makes a parody of them.

About 5 years ago I coined the term "reverse parody" within my group of friends referring to any original song where one hears the parody first as that was a common experience for me when I started listening to my friends songs most recently hearing Bruno Mars song Grenade when I first heard Insane Ian's parody called Bob-omb. I also specified that a reverse parody is only specific to the person listening to the song and will be different for different people.

Thinking about it, I looked at the FuMP website and looked at every parody that was released in 2011 including the multiple ones in one medley of songs and noticed a pattern:

FYI: The only 20th century song I did not know the original was Rapper's Delight and only know of Snoop Dogg (What's My Name) because someone asked me to get it as a DLC for Rock Band shortly before he released a parody of it. The only 21st century song I know is the Double Rainbow Song. Though I know of Stacy's Mom, I first heard the parody Harry's Wand.

People do not age on their birthdays but in specific moments throughout the year. This is definitely one for me.

Turkey football

2011-05-21T03:50:00.001-07:00

May at my work has for the past several years involved printing things for the upcoming football season and it becomes interesting looking at how the same basic image of fans in the piece changes depending on the team and the association via photoshop or replacing certain people in the picture to accomidate specific fan bases.

I then wondered about printing schedules since the NFL is in its third month of their lockout and the season is currently not guaranteed to play at this time since adding 2 games is one of the issues between the owners and players. I then remembered the Dolphins are scheduled to visit Dallas on Thanksgiving so I know my wife will be miserable on that day like she was in 2004 when the Dolphins beat Dallas as the networks usually choose since the famous Thanksgiving game played in snow in 1993.

With the current schedule and the yearly switch of the Detroit and Dallas Thanksgiving games between networks, I know the Dolphins (and the other 3 AFC east teams) have a 50/50 chance to play on Thanksgiving in years they play in Detroit or Dallas which currently happens once every 8 years. (I could post another paragraph or two explaining why but you have to trust me on this)

So I wondered about the odds of the Dolphins playing on that day. The chances are 1/8 * 1/2 for Detroit or Dallas and 1/4 * 1/8 to play the night game in Denver or 1/16 +1/16 + 1/32 or 5 times out of 32.

Well what about the Bears? They play in Detroit every year but only half the time could that game appear on Thanksgiving so that chance is 1/2 * 1/6 or 1 in 12 (in those years, any one of 6 NFC teams play in Detroit). They play in Dallas once every 6 years due to rotation and have a 1 in 8 chance of playing in Dallas due to their standings on 2 of 3 years. Those odds are (1/6 + 1/8 * 2/3) * 1/6 or 1 time out of 24. They play in Denver one year out of 8 and have a 1 in 8 chance of being the opponent selected so that is 1 out of 64. So the chance is 1/12 + 1/24 + 1/64 or 9 times out of 64.

Not the Natural I know

2011-05-14T09:43:00.000-07:00

In the past, I have talked about sports movies whose endings I did not like due to the lack of logic involved ranging from a fat freshman at the end of a 5 on 3 penalty kill beating 3 upperclassmen down the ice to Mark Grace hitting a 500 ft home run to a college football team of only 18 walkons winning its only game against the number one team in the country.

There was one movie I failed to mention but I find its ending worse than the other movies for a different reason. The Natural. The ending scene is one of the most memorable ones in movie history and the music played as Roy Hobbs rounds the bases is often heard at ballgames and it makes me sick to my stomach when I hear it. Here is the scene I referenced (will be up when I use a computer that will allow me to put it up):

Why does it bother me? Believe it or not, I have read the book. In high school, every other Monday involved a test about a novel and it was the first book of my junior year.

Following a conversation about books whose movie was adapted differently I went to Wikipedia and here is the plot summary for the end of the book written in 1952 (spoiler):

The judge offers Hobbs increasing amounts of money to lose the final game for the Knights. Hobbs makes a counter-offer of $35,000, which is accepted. That night, unable to sleep, he reads a letter from Iris. After seeing the word 'grandmother' in the letter, he discards it. The next day, he does play. During an at-bat, he fouls a pitch into the stands that strikes Iris, injuring her. The Wonderboy bat also splits in two lengthwise. Iris tells Roy that she is pregnant with his child. Now he's determined to do his best for their future. At the end of the game, with a chance to win it, the opposing team sends in Herman Youngberry, a brilliant young pitcher, who strikes out Hobbs, ending the season for the Knights.

The book ends with Hobbs seeking out the judge, Memo, and Gus Sands, hitting both the judge and Sands. Sands has his glass eye knocked out of his head and the judge has a bowel movement in his pants. Memo fires a gun at Hobbs, then puts it in her mouth. Hobbs takes it away from her, throws the bribe money at her and denounces her; she accuses him of murdering Bump. That evening, as he leaves the stadium, he sees a late edition newspaper headline accusing him of throwing the game. A newsboy asks him to tell him it is not true, but Hobbs breaks down and weeps.

Since the novel was written 33 years after the 1919 White Sox scandal where 8 players were banned from the game for taking a bribe to lose, it is likely that the Roy Hobbs character was based on Shoeless Joe Jackson since newsboy scene at the end of the book is similar to the situation at the Jackson trial. Personally I find that ending more realistic.

Doing my part

2011-05-01T16:40:00.000-07:00

I believe that if every fat person would lose 10% of their body weight, the world would be a better place as the resources available could be spread among some of the people who do not have them.

I recently hit that mark. However all that did was change my category from very obese to obese so I need to lose 10% again from that weight and then another 10%.

The previous weekend had a large bump due to the large amount of food I had. With having to go 36 hours without any solid food this week, I expect to do more than stay stable. Hopefully I can do that.

The last Marscon 2011 post

2011-04-03T11:25:00.000-07:00

I did a chart showing who played with whom last year and was asked to do it again. Unlike last year, I had other ideas I needed to get out of my head and this weekend and finally had time to make this:

Unlike last year, there is video of the entire weekend main stage on you tube thanks to Mr Tuesday who was able to get them posted some within 24 hours of the performances. Hopefully this eliminated errors though I almost expect someone to find one.

Tournament of bad Madman region

2011-03-31T18:04:00.000-07:00

Over the past couple of years, two local sports radio DJs, Dan Bernstein and Terry Boers have done the tournament of bad where they with two people who work with their show arrange 68 bad things involving sports and other things into 4 regions and have people vote on what is more bad to get to one winner. This year the final features Notre Dame student safety against Getting on Lake shore Drive in the middle of a snowstorm. (Urinal conversations and Charlie Sheen's rehab efforts)

I was wanting to make my region a couple of weeks ago but was unable to do so until today. Here is the region:

Here is an explaination on why these are here in bracket order:

play-in game - USA soccer - FIFA (international soccer federation) has for years tried everything to get the US good in international soccer so the networks will pay top dollar for coverage. That is the only reason they pushed the women's game knowing the US is one of the top teams to try to generate interest in a country which does not care. FYI: Major League Soccer consists mostly of players who could not make it in the good leagues that exist in Europe.

play-in game - bad apostrophes - An apostrophe is used for possession and not plural. I have seen ads, billboards, tv commercials and even a cake that used an apostrophe as a plural.

1 - State of Illinois financial situation - Drastic measures have been taken to try to recover from many years of neglect and abuse.

8 - NFL rule changes - The NFL is now concerned with head injuries and want to reduce them. However, the new rules that are created to try to protect players can change the game completely. Fans like the NFL partially because it is a collision sport and take collisions out can ruin the game.

9 - People overenthusiastic about their lifestyle changes - I get it. You did something that make you better and you want to help others. It can go too far. Like posting charts on weight loss progress and .... er .... You know what I mean.

4 - Obama haters - He was fairly elected president. Had there been an problem with his eligibility, it would have been taken care of before he even started his campaign. I don't agree with many of his decisions and personally believe he was not ready to take office when he did. That does not mean I want him dead or impeached. People will have a chance in 2012 to elect a president.

13 - Avoiding the number 13 - I have seen hotels, hospitals and software skip that number. Putting a specific number will not create a problem nor prevent one. More effort should be placed on quality rather than superstition.

5 - Wrigley Field wall - It is mostly made of brick and is covered with ivy. When a college football game was played there last November, both teams had to go one direction worrying about players with helmets and padding crashing into the wall. They have padding painted with ivy for that game. That should be installed for the safety of players.

12 - playing songs on a car horn or doorbell - Unless the horn or doorbell is musical, playing a song with it might sound like the song to the person doing it but is annoying for everyone else.

2 - Soldier Field surface - Horrible, game changing. Needs to be replaced many times during the year. The Bears would be better off changing to an artificial surface.

15 - people who live in the US and can't speak English - English is the only official language in the US. People who want to enjoy the benefits of living in the US should learn the country's language.

7 - parking a car in two spaces - If a car is too expensive or too large for the driver to park in one space in a public lot, then it might be best to replace the car. I understand the desire to not want it dinged but to me taking up two spaces in a crowded parking lot is inviting people to smash the windows.

10 - NCAA football and mens basketball playoffs - They have the opposite problems. 68 teams is too many for basketball and I don't care if one of the last teams is one of the last 4 to make the field. With the money involved, I doubt that will change. Football has 2 in the title game along with many bowl games. The 3rd best football team is left out. As with basketball, money rules.

3 - Stating "god" is punishing Japan - Bad things in nature happens and people suffer and die from them. Jumping on that situation to try to impose a religious agenda is the exact opposite of what most religions want their people to do when others are in need.

14 - Counting an NHL overtime loss as a tie - Though teams get a point for it, it is still a loss.

6 - Saying any comedy song is done by Weird Al - People share and repost files. When they do that to a funny song, many automatically state Weird Al and occasionally misspell his name. There are many people who do funny songs who are not as well known as him. In a CD being released April 1, Devo Spice has a song about it. Gnome Sane?

11 - PGA/NASCAR end of season playoffs - It happens in September through November otherwise knows as football season. Most fans don't care. This cheapens championships since it is based on a few events rather than the whole season.

I am not going to ask people to vote since I know there won't be enough people interested to make it worth the effort to run it.

Rock Band squeeeee

2011-03-27T19:30:00.000-07:00

Last Friday evening where both of us were tired, Carrie and I were talking and the subject of the band Boston came up and I told her how much I enjoyed their first album and when 6 of the songs from it came to Rock Band, I went home from work, immediately turned on my XboX 360 to get them to play in album order with side 2 first finishing with Foreplay/Long Time which was on the Rock Band 1 disc.

Though we had met 7 years earlier and have become surrogate spouses, the subject of my non dementia music preference is something that we had rarely talked about. After getting home from work this Sunday, I decided to look at the 475 songs available to play in Rock Band on my system and discovered there are about 75 songs I had or would have immediately purchased when available for DLC to play right away. (This includes songs that are available on the 5 RB discs I have)

20 of the songs are those I would play on my Dementia Radio show and are all made since 2000. Since those are the only 20 songs from the 21st century that fall into the get it now category, I did not include them in this chart:

Orange is 60s, green 70s, pink 80s, and blue 90s. Not wanting to make too many categories, I recategorized some genres to classic rock and pop/rock categories.

Off Target

2011-03-23T15:24:00.001-07:00

Unable to find any snacks at the Mall of America that were healthy, I told the three people I was driving that I needed to get fruit and since it was 1PM Friday, we had time before anything started at Marscon.

When we passed a Wal-Mart, the passengers were not wanting to stop there. Though I am a Sam's Club member, I can understand their desires since one of the people I was driving is a target employee who gets a discount. Though savings would not be significant on a 5 day 900+ mile trip involving 4 nights in a hotel, I figured why not and headed towards the Target I thought existed west of where we were going.

The Target employee said he could use his phone to find one and directed me differently and after going to a distribution center, headed towards a store. However, it was a little slow and I got info on where to exit the expressway 10 seconds late and had to swing around.

For clarity, I used multiple colors since it would be confusing if I didn't.

Anyway, we finally got my hungry and irritable self there.

surviving the bump

2011-03-19T17:36:00.000-07:00

I did forget to mention one other bad thing about Marscon. Weight gain. The party atmosphere causes people to overindulge and while looking at some the people there I do not seem fat so there is no guilt. When I tried to lose weight in 2009, it ended at Marscon and ended up back to my regular eating and getting myself to the point where I weighed what I did this January.

Not wanting to repeat that mistake, I decided to take the whole week before off work to avoid eating the extra food I usually do wanting to eat all the extra calories I am allowed from Feb 26 through Mar 11 in the 5 days of the con allowing myself about 12,500 total for the 5 days.

Things changed the before the con as I ate a lot of pizza while casting with two others on Wednesday and donuts on Thursday morning. I then realized the weekend was going to be about controlling gain rather than maintaning weight.

The rest of Thursday went ok and Friday's trip to the Mall of America better as I saved calories by eating a regular size grilled steak and walked around to find a place that had fountain Diet Coke since I do not drink Diet Pepsi. Every place in the south food court, including Mc Donalds, had Pepsi. I also decided it was best to not get a Dairy Queen shake or any other mall snack food though I was tempted. I ended up going to Target to get bananas, apples, and Diet Dew, the only Pepsi bererage I drink which is not available in the mall. I also saved calories by not drinking alcohol after the music not really in the mood to start to party after midnight.

The rest of the weekend involved a lot of food and beverage. Two breakfast buffets in the hotel, snacks in the movie room, the surprising well stocked con suite, the awesome spread by Breakman Z's parents enjoyed on the ride home and KAHN's mongolian buffet provided me much more than the planned intake of calories along with the food I brought and the large amount of alcohol consumed on the party bus.

When I returned to work on the 9th, there was weight gain and after eating at a wake on the 10th it was worse. However, one week of better eating more than overcame the weight gain as shown here:

The easy chart

2011-03-08T05:17:00.001-08:00

On the way home, I figured out the details and used last year's map to reflect the 2011 dementia track attendence.

I know due to financial concerns (including one performer who was missed by many after he discovered the cost of airfare once he knew he could go increased to the point where the trip was not doable for him) some states represented in last year's chart are not in 2011.

As far as deciding performer/fan I decided only anyone introduced as the main person performing on stage or who is a member of a band as performer.

I used to play football

2011-03-07T20:48:00.000-08:00

Finally got home from Marscon 2011 about 9:30 Monday evening. Am pretty tired as can be expected. After a situation that should not have happened kept 7 of us stuck at the Belvedere Oasis a half hour after we finished lunch on the way there, things went rather smoothly on both trips and everything in between. There will be follow up posts recapping some things that happened.

People might be most interested in what happens starting about 49:30 into the video.

Not all peaches and cream

2011-03-02T08:20:00.000-08:00

Marscon is almost upon us. Later today, I meet the first couple of people for the trip. However, like almost everything in life, Marscon is not perfect. Here is a list of things that can make my weekend more difficult than it can and hopefully by writing this, I can get these thoughts out of my head now.

1. Organizing the trip: In 2005, I realized most of the people in the Chicago area do not have a car and since rented a vehicle to drive others there. Once I get behind the wheel things are great. Until then, it is a hassle. Eventually others have come from out of state to join me and after it got nicknamed the bus people started to think it was an actual bus. Of course it has been common over the past 7 years for people to ask about it, say they are riding, then back out and this year is no exception.

I have been financially burned by this too. Every year gas prices would increase the 3 weeks before the trip and it would cost me more than I quoted. I now give 2 quotes and collect twice; once for the vehicle and again for gas once I get an idea on mileage and cost. A couple of times there were too many people for the vehicle(s) obtained and after quoting the trip as everyone riding, I ended up forking $500 to make up the difference.

2. Non music con attendees. One year the music track went 7 minutes long even though we got a late start due the the panel before running long. The person who ran the masquerade that year which happens after the music track ends while going through rehearsal with me there wasted about a half hour complaining about the "shit music" and when everything ran 90 minutes long stated the music track running late was the reason. Since then things have been very tight with music especially considering the large number of acts that want to perform.

There have been times where the effort needed to keep everything exactly on time has created a rush in the performers and forced people to cut songs from their set list.

3. The cost. 4 nights in a hotel even splitting the cost with others is not cheap. Unlike other areas where a con suite can provide the occasional meal, the Marscon con suite is underfunded and every meal needs to be purchased. Over 5 days, that cost can be large. Almost every performer has stuff at the awesome table 27 to purchase. I can easily spend a grand over the weekend without blinking if I am not careful.

4. Drama. In any group where you get 50-75 people together where they are out of their normal routine and where many of them are drinking, there will be drama! Since there are male and female people there and the con nighttime atmosphere is like that of Vegas stupid things can and will usually happen.

In our on line community, things can happen and when people meet IRL, those conflicts can become IRL. I am definitely no exception to this rule. The worst was the time where a person's comment at 2AM triggered a reoccuring nightmare that I had and I woke up sweating and angry. When that person screamed something to the performer right behind me that afternoon so loud it hurt, I wanted to grab that person and scream back in their face. Eventually in front of others I ended up punching the wall in the elevator and when that person made a stupid comment to me later that evening, I saw three people get up to prevent me from putting that person's impression in the wall though I replied professionally.

Granted that person also creates conflict with me by posting the result of the hosted countdown show in the chatroom during my show. I have asked for years that all I want is for that person to respect my time slot and ask for permission. Instead of asking me for permission that person records the show later in the evening to avoid that conflict.

Anyway, I need to get my suitcase packed and clean the house.

the grey line

2011-02-25T20:17:00.000-08:00

Last year, three people recorded a bit where they pretended to be from the Bad Rapport podcast. I was confused when one of them was imitating me as I am a semi regular on it and immediately thought it was an attack on me and reacted that way.

Eventually it was explained to me that it was not the case as I have seen for years people on stage making jokes about each other and to him that was along the same line. Though I was still not comfortable with it, I understood. I was considering doing something similar but could not without making it sound bad.

This week, that bit was mentioned and it got me thinking ... Though I know their real names, when on stage or together off stage I see them as their stage name and part of the characters' interaction is their occasional insults which in my mind is not insulting. Though I cowrote one song and have cameos in 5 others and been on stage with them, I still see them as characters and me as someone who appreciates their work but to the performers I was viewed as a character and not a fan.

The last two episodes of my Dementia Radio show featured music from the Marscon convention from the previous 8 years. Listening to the tracks and looking at pictures, I hear the voices of many of the fans like me either in the audience, on stage or in the fan showcase and realize they have become characters as well.

The on stage appearences have ranged from doing a cameo in a song they were in to being a ShoEboX microphone sanitation disposal person to screaming "BALLS!" to shooting an aritst with a Nerf gun to being a guy a female performer will never sleep with to dancing to a song in a Richard Nixon mask.

I know if I did this chart after this year's convention the numbers would be different.

I also realize I need to take myself less seriously around my friends. Last Dec 24 and 25 was the first time in many years I did not get really upset with someone. Too much of the wrong food, alcohol, and disruption of my normal sleep pattern has caused me to get upset at someone at all but one Marscon and someone else upset at the other one. Maybe it is time to break that pattern also.

The 5 that make the other 360 tolerable

2011-02-23T19:25:00.000-08:00

In about a week, Marscon 2011 will be upon us. The question I get asked is "Why is this convention so special compared to others?" Thinking about it, I have 12 reasons:

1. The trip - Unlike other conventions where driving alone is common, I have never travelled to Marscon with fewer than 6 other people ranging from 1 to 4 vehicles including one rented since 2005. Why? It makes the 400 mile ride both ways seem a lot shorter and in my opinion, it makes the con start earlier and last later. The ride back is usually filled with playing new music acquired at the con and usually with a stop to drop off one of the passengers whose parents set up food for us. I still find it amazing that ten people last year got out of their cars at a gas station in northern Wisconsin all quoting a sketch from a CD we were listening to and confusing the hell out of the people there.

2. The atmosphere - In listening to the recordings made from the con, there is a level of excitement and enthusiasm that is unmatched anywhere else and it shows in the performers. Almost every year one of the artists burns out their voice from the excitement. I am not even going to try to count the number of times the Carson Ave sketches will be referenced on and off stage this weekend.

3. The opening sketch - Wyngarde, Brian and Luke open the con with a elaborate sketch which is rarely seen at other cons. It has ranged from a talk show to a game show, to vampires, to creating con agent Luke Bauer who got a report of a Madman on the Loose threatening to sing in the karoake room.

4. The regular music artists - I get to see Luke Ski, ShoEboX, Devo Spice, Carrie Dahlby, Rob Balder, Power Salad and the Nick Atoms/Possible Oscar perform at other conventions but Marscon in the only one where they all get together.

5. The special music guests - Over the years Luke Ski has been able to bring artists from all over the US including Ookla the Mok, Paul and Storm, MC Lars, Shaffer the Darklord, Throwing Toasters and this year TV's Kyle. Many of them had Marscon as their first sci-fi convention performance. There is a possibility of a group from Englad making the trip for 2012.

6. The music - With the ability of most performers to record at home, they can create songs together. Marscon gives them the chance to take their individually recorded items and perform them together sometimes for the first and only time. Often artists will do something special for the con like premiere new material or do something different with their older stuff like the one time an individual artist had a 4 member band join him on stage to play a song that has 7 notes and 2 words which got a standing ovation from the audience.

7. The pool gatherings - Many hotels have a pool. However it is different at Marscon as they turn into sing a longs in the hot tub usually before and after the con.

8. Parties - Twin Cities area cons are known for the creative parties and though the 4th of July weekend Convergence is the greatest, the night scene on the 13th floor at Marscon holds its own. There is Karaoke Joes which has not closed until after the sun rises, creatively themed parties, the filk lounge which has live music, our group of people, and the birth of Party Rob Balder who this year is hosting a Saturday might party on a 30 passenger bus complete with live music. There have been legendary nights none topped by a visit from British soldiers who were staying overnight at the hotel before heading off to desert training in Arizona to eventually serve in Iraq/Afganastan.

9. Wrestling - Mr Tuesday takes the performers from the con, uses a video wrestling game to create their characters and has them battle in a 20 person battle royal which gets shown at the con late Saturday night to the drunk crowd which reacts like they do in the WWE. The attitude of the fans against one of the people in the ring actually confused his mother who does not understand that the wrestler that is hated the most is usually one of the most popular ones.

10. Fan Showcase - After people recover from the Saturday night parties, they head to the karoake room late Sunday morning. DJ Particle runs the show where anyone there can perform their song or a cover as long as they either have the music with them or the ability to play. Some of the acts which now have either main stage or party shows started perfroming at this. Last year, I tried to perfrom a song in it last year after getting permission from the music Guests of Honor but my daughter realized what was happening and changed the file from the background music to the song to telling me I should not sing.

11. Smackdown - The traditional end of the music at the con has each performer doing one song that is usually not theirs. It has ranged from covering a classic tune to providing a new way of doing a song that someone else has done.

12. Kahn's - Before people head their seperate ways after the con ends on Sunday, many head to this Mongolian buffet for one last meal together. It is a combination of great food and conversation and last hugs before saying goodbye and before heading back to the hotel to get some much needed sleep before the drive home on Monday. I salute the staff there by ringing their gong with my head on the way out.

While trying to compile this list I came to the realization that since I refer Marscon as my "Christmas" and that I listed 12 things, I could create a song. I neither have the money or ability to get a decent soundtrack or compose lyrics nor have the ability to make it sound good.

Harnessing the madman

2011-02-19T06:13:00.000-08:00

After initially making this post, I was informed that it does not meet the standards of this blog and removed it. I decided to reinstate an edited version 6 weeks later.

On May 13, 2002 while my wife was recovering in the hospital, I went to the grocery store to pick up pictures taken at AlCon 3 which happened a few weeks prior. I needed a pick me up as that roll contained a picture of me with Weird Al Yankovic who appeared there. When I got the envelope, it felt very light as the only picture that developed was the one I took of my daughter to make sure the camera worked.

The camera fell out of the pocket of the Hawaiian shirt I was wearing while helping setting up the stage and it came loose. I did snap it back and it took pictures but I did not realize the film in the camera was overexposed until that point.

As I explained in a previous post, I have yet to retake that pic. It usually does not bother me much except when he is on tour and I see other pics people post of themselves with him and especially on the shows I attend where I see others go backstage after the show. It has gotten to the point where I don't even want to spend any more money on his music or see him live. The only reason I saw a show last year was because my daughter asked me to take her.

Right after the school year continued for my daughter in January, she told me she wanted to dance by herself in the school vareity/talent show. My wife and I were against it afraid she was going to embarass herself but looking into my daughter's eyes, I could tell she wanted to do it and reluctantly signed the permission form. Last week, she needed me to rip the song she was using to burn it on a disk for the show. I also had to start my internet radio show late the night before the show needing to drop her off for rehearsal.

Shortly after I signed the permission slip, I heard Weird Al was going to sign copies of his new childrens book "When I Grow Up" in Naperville on the exact same night as the talent show. I knew that in spite of my desire to go there and possibly get a pic with him, I had to be at the school to see my daughter on stage.

Of course some of my friends were going. Carrie was happy that she with her husband Josh was finally going to meet Al and Bill was driving from the Detroit area with Moonbeam and her 5 month old son for the event and then hang out over the weekend.

Last Wednesday morning, I tweeted about how upset I was while being at work one step away from losing it and then how I almost lost it when that exact step happened. Carrie texted me why I was so upset. I was unhappy that I could not go but did not want to tell her since I did not want to get her upset so I said something else.

Then a thought occurred to me about the event. Last October, my daughter wanted to see the band Big Time Rush in person at a bookstore. (If you don't know who they are, imagine the Monkees in this time) After driving an hour, we found out there were wristbands needed to see them and people were lined up outside the store at 10PM the night before to get one to come back at 5 the following day and they were out by 9:30. I wondered if any of them thought about preregistering and when they said no, I took my break early.

Checking the website, I found out it was a ticketed event, called the store directly and found out there were exactly 4 tickets left. They allowed me to put the 4 books on my credit card so they can get tickets not wanting to risk them getting shut out while trying to relay the info to Carrie. After work, I drove to the store to get the books and tickets finding out the event was actually at the college a few blocks away where Al was going to talk about the book and read from it and dropped everything off with Carrie who paid me for them.

On Friday, I met up with them to make plans for Saturday and after grabbing food and telling them the best way to get to the expressway from where we were, headed home with my daughter so she can get ready to be on stage.

I was initially worried about them getting a text that they were lost but they found the place and it was time for the show which my wife after seeing dress rehearsal said was not pretty.

I noticed that via guitar, singing, tap dance and regular dance the song "Dynamite" was listed four times. My daughter was on right in the middle of the show and seeing the kids were sitting up front stage left (sex section), I sat in back on the stage right (Satan) section.

As expected, there were kids who looked like a deer in headlights on stage. A magic act ended up becoming an onstage shoving match between three kids and after someone very slowly played the riffs from Iron Man and Smoke on the Water on a guitar, it was my daughter's turn.

I could not even sit my stomach churning with nerves and when the music started, she seemed a little stiff. Then things kicked in for her and she showed the energy, enthusiasm, and most importantly fearlessness that most of the other acts lacked. I could picture myself as a 10 year old (or even as an adult before a damaged bursa sac, three knee surgeries, and age made that no longer possible for me) dancing like she did had I not been so self conscious of myself back then. I was preparing to complain on line about missing Al to see her perform but instead my comments were reflective of how proud I was of what she was able to do with only minimal help from me. I trusted my daughter to make sure she did well on stage and she did.

The next morning, I noticed pics taken with him from that night including one with a chibi of me. Though I appreciate the effort and thought of it, I did not care for it since it is not the same.

I did what I should do. I used my anger to help others rather than hurt them and to put my family above my personal feelings. I just wished it felt better than it does.

Three months later, one of my friends has an extra backstage pass to see Weird Al in St. Charles. Though it would cause me to miss part of one of my daughter's softball games, I decided to get a ticket not wanting to miss that chance again. Good fortune fell that day as an afternoon thunderstorm made the field unplayable and I could go without missing anything. After the show, I was finally able to replace the pic 3,321 days after the one I took in 2002.

Goal one achieved

2011-02-17T18:19:00.000-08:00

While driving to work this morning, I was thinking I was going to lose one pound from Monday since that had been the normal for the past couple of weeks and thinking I have one more week to get below 270 before Marscon like I did in 2009.

When I stepped on the scale and looked at the result, I thought the scale was unbalanced. Then I went to another scale to confirm the 268.7 reading.

Here is a chart of the past three weeks compared to 09:

Unlike 2009, my weight did not increase on Superbowl or Valentines day weekend as both of them in 09 involved eating too much at each of my sister's houses.

Next goal is Marscon 2004 weight of 250 lb. I know it will take longer than the 45 days it took to get from 287.5 to 268.7

Con scoring

2011-02-06T06:36:00.000-08:00

A while ago, I jokingly decided to attach point values to different things seen and experiences had at sci-fi conventions. I decided to create this chart to more or less summarize what has happened over the past 8 years.

The cons with 5+ points have been generally those with my wife and or involving spray can foods. The negative one con was the time a guy got completely pantsed in front of us.

I am not going into any more detail about my scoring system in this post since it is a public one. ;)

It's got to be the pants

2011-01-31T19:14:00.000-08:00

Looking at the scale reading I made every Monday, Thursday, at work and Saturday at Weight Watchers, I noticed some irregularities:

The Monday and Thursday weights were with shoes and work shirt (about 2.5lb total)about 5:30 AM. The Saturday readings were made between 9 and 10 AM without shoes but after eating breakfast though the time on two of the tapes stated almost 11AM because one of their three older computers was set to the Indiana time zone which until a few years ago meant that the clock never went forwards or backwards an hour. (I changed it to Central time and let someone there know so it should now be fixed.)

I did get on the scale at the same time of day so it would accurately reflect my situation but realized one of my pants was heavier than the others since it was flannel lined for winter weather and that could have created the one week unchanged situation from which after wearing regular jeans on the 31st, showed a 3lb loss in a week.

Though I consider my memory exceptional, I do not know if I was wearing my heavy pair of pants on the 3rd but the 5 lb loss in three days could have been assisted by what pair of pants I wore those days.

Math and playoff probabilities

2011-01-15T05:57:00.000-08:00

I have not been asked what are the mathematical changes of the Bears and Packers playing for the NFC Championship though I would be asked that if they both win this weekend which they did.

In a 16 team conference the odds of any two teams meeting for a title would generally be close to 2/16 * 1/15 or 120-1 and it would be that simple if the NFL playoffs were like the NBA or NHL. However, the NFL playoff format changes things:

Note: All calculations are based on true math odds and not home field advantage or team history.

Four division champions from 4 team divisions make the playoffs plus 2 wild card teams which have the best record of non division winners. The Bears and Packers both make the playoffs if they both are wild card teams which hapens 1/2 * 2/12 * 1/11 or 1 out of 132 times or if one wins the division and one is a wild card team 1/2 * 1/6 (1 out of 12) or 1 out of 11 years combined which has happened under the current format in 2002 and also this year.

(Note: To make things less complicated than it already is, I am not going to figure in the unlikely scenario of both teams being wild card teams and advancing to the title game since the odds of that are 1/132 * 1/4 * 1/4 or 2,112 to 1. That changes the odds of both teams being in the playoffs to 12 to 1.)

The first round involves the two division champions with the worst records hosting the 2 wild card teams. About half the time (like this year) the NFC North champion does not have to play a wild cadr game so for the other team to advance the odds are1/2 (2 out of 4 possibilities) * 1/2 = 1/4. Then the chances are 1/2 that they don't play each other in the divisional round and 1/4 both winning so 1/4 * 1/2 * 1/4 = 1/32.

About one out of four times both teams play and both advancing is 1/4 (1 out of 4 possibilites) * 1/4 = 1/16 and then both teams winning again is 1/4 so 1/16 * 1/64 = 1/64.

One out of four times they play each other in the first round so one team has to lose. 1/4 (1 out of 4 possibilities) * 0 = 0

So the odds of both teams advancing to the NFC title game is about 1/32 + 1/64 or 3/64.

So the mathematical odds of the Bears and Packers (or any two divisional teams) meeting for the conference title is about 1/12 * 3/64 or 3/768 which is 256 to 1.

A couple of sports notes

2011-01-12T14:22:00.001-08:00

I have been asked who I want to win in the football playoffs and I tell them the playoffs ended last month in week 16 after the Misfit Demons who were dominant in October and November came up short when it counted most. Once the person realizes I am talking fantasy football which I care about more than the NFL, the question is changed to cover the next couple of weeks. I then refer to a couple of my former posts which states I only root for the Bears 63 regular season games out of 64 and another one with this chart which I made a couple of years ago about who I root for in playoffs:

So this means I want the Bears to win this weekend but lose to Atlanta in the conference final. I also explain that since the Bears are 4-1 on artificial turf and 7-4 on natural grass, 1-2 their last 3 natural grass games, they would be better off playing in Atlanta rather than hosting Green Bay. Of course this assumes that they will be able to beat Seattle this Sunday. Though they will not play their best, it should still be good enough to beat Seattle.

Now on to something I find disturbing in the NHL. Starting with the 1999-2000 season, the league changed the way they determine regular season points. They started to give a point to teams that lost a game in the five minute overtime period in an effort to encourage more offensive play. When the league resumed play in 2005 after the lockout canceled the 2004-05 season, they added a shootout to ensure that every game had a winner if no team scored in the 5 minute overtime period which was changed to play 4 on 4. Teams that lost in either the five minute overtime or in a shootout would get one point.

This means that no NHL game can end in a tie and that a team's regular season record is stated in a W-L-OTL format where a team gets 2 points for a win and one point for an overtime (or shootout) loss. I have heard way too many people lately (including announcers) who do not include overtime (or shootout) losses in referencing a teams record still thinking that they are ties though no game can end in one. After Sunday's game the Chicago Blackhawks are 23-18-3. Long time announcer Pat Foley, whose broadcasts I have enjoyed for years, incorrectly stated they are 5 games about .500. They have won 23 and lost 21 but got a point for 3 of them. a .500 ball club wins as many games as it loses like the Flyers did last year when they went 41-34-7.

I realize I am being picky and CDO (like OCD but with letters in alphabetical order as they should be).

I'm not a girl

2011-01-08T21:22:00.000-08:00

After a difficult Thursday trying to explain why I can't afford to join a weight loss program which left me hopeless and shaking, I did agree to join Weight Watchers at the coaxing of Carrie under the belief she would not stop getting on my case until I agreed to join. (I also realized that if I don't lose the weight, I will have to pay extra in life insurance costs anyway so this is more an investment to prevent me from spending extra money)

After weiging in at 279.8 lb (without shoes or work shirt), it was time to listen to someone who lost 65 lb 30 years ago and has kept it off since. As expected, nothing I heard today nor anything I read in the materials provided new information about what a person needs to do to improve their weight situation (intake, output, consistency). The thing I found useful was what to do when things failed to work one day or one week as those events were the things that ended my past attempts.

What Weight Watchers has done was provide a point system to make calculations easier for members rather than going by calories or telling people what they must eat. Using their points calculator, I was allowed 54 points per day with 49 extra to use during the week. From using the calculator to check the foods I eat, it comes to 35-45 calories per point depending on the item except for fresh fruits and most vegtables which don't have any points.

I figure with how active I am at work to use the 49 extra on work days and will start every week on Saturday for two reasons. One, if I work the weekend, I can spread out the extra points evenly instead of being stuck with none on the weekend. Two, I can use the extra points for two weeks for conventions so I can use one week's of extra points on Friday and the following week's on Saturday.

What I found confusing was their sticker I got in my new weekly book. It said I have 42 points per day rather than the 54 I got in their calculator. After things were done and I asked someone there, it was determined that my profile was not switched from the female default.

Now I just have to find a way to get the ipod to log in to their app so I can keep the points calculator in the car and use the ipod at home and do what I can to make this program work.

the 5 easy ones.

2011-01-06T18:00:00.000-08:00

After a December which for me as with most people involved more food than normal including one day where I consumed 5,000 calories, the result on the scale this Monday was expected.

If I want to get to the point where I can renew my life insurance without being reclassified as high risk, I need to start to lose weight.

As I did in ~~2008~~ 2009 (two years ago) I started on Monday to eat what an active 200lb man my age and height does which is about 2,750 calories per day. For the heck of it, when I got to work each morning, I stepped on the scale and this was the result:

This is also what happened in 2009 during the first week of the year. I also then got to the point where no amount of fruits or vegtables will suffice and I had to get a Wendy's double cheese burger. Shortly after that, when the weight loss stopped happening and after Marscon put some pounds back, I got frustrated and stopped eating properly. This year, I need to be smarter about what I am doing.

Analyzation of the unexpected

2010-12-20T21:12:00.000-08:00

Tonight on a frozen field in Minnesota, the Chicago Bears clinched the 2010 division title. Had I been a bookie, I would have lost a lot of money expecting them to win at the most 6 games and made odds reflect that opinion.

How did this happen? They stayed healthy unlike the last couple of seasons where players were getting injured constantly. They have also benefitted from timely injuries to key oppponent players.

The large X designate all pro players who were out. The positions in the other column represent key all pro players who were not in the lineup.

The 4 losses came against teams that were healthy and did not have a key player get hurt during the game.

Score radio personality Dan Bernstein said it best early in the season: The Bears are a team that is decent enough to win a division title if all the pieces fall into place. In 2010, that most definitely happened.

crunching numbers

2010-12-19T07:37:00.000-08:00

This year the yahoo fantasy league added points against to the stats and made them retroactive to the previous years in the league. This allowed me the ability to more easily examine the points scored against players in a season and discovered an error I made about 2007 in a post I made in August.

One more point against per game than I initially determined in 2007 and I included 2010.

I also discovered that my 2007 season was not the worst as far as points scored against than expected:

Though I did not even have the worst schedule in 07 what bothered me was that I by far had the most points scored and deserved a fate similar to the one I had in 2010. The person who set the record this year had the worst total in the league.

Sith lord fantasy football

2010-12-08T17:34:00.001-08:00

I have noticed that with many things in my life my best performances happen when I am angry including bowling, golf, and Scrabble. I am guessing my anger overcomes my nerves and gives me focus. Of course there are times when the anger created problems rather than success.

In 2007, I had the best team by far in the league but only finished 6-8. I lost one game and a playoff berth by making a wrong decision about an injured player which I made hung over in Akron, OH at 9AM after a very memorable party the night before.

The pattern of 4 people in the league having injured, inactive or bye week players in their lineup against one other team really got me upset. When they played my team with a fully active lineup, they would have their high score for the year. In the last week, one team purposely held players out of his lineup to prevent me from making the playoffs. Had I not woke up on the day of the 2008 draft violently ill in an Indianapolis hotel room and had to stop twice on I-65 to vomit, I probably would have started a fight.

I decided to instead take out my anger on the league. In 2009, I won my division title and league championship and last Sunday clinched the division title once again having the best team. Here is the standings: (I deleted the names of the other teams.)

For the 4th straight year, my opponents are scoring more against me than the rest of the league but by only 1 point per week this year. That is why my record is at my personal best 10-3. (I am playing the person who held players out of his lineup in 07. Right now, everyone on my team is on the bench.)

When I won the league title last year, I was not real excited being more satisfied from exacting revenge than happy. I am feeling the same way now. After the worry about losing the two weeks before clinching the division title I am comtemplating my resoning for continuing and considering no longer playing just like I did with Scrabble four years ago.

Rockin like Weird AL

2010-12-01T18:08:00.000-08:00

On his website, Weird Al Yankovic was asked about his music appearing in either Guitar Hero or Rack Band and though he was interested stated neither Activision nor Harmonix (comanies that produce the game series) were interested.

Earlier in the day I was asked about his parodies appearing in the game and I stated that since the music was written by other people it would be very difficult to obtain the rights to produce the parody version. Personally I would really enjoy if either Hardware Store or Albuquerque (my two favorite original Weird Al songs) or any other of his original songs made the game but most people only know the parodies and would not care for his original material. In a post in November 2009 I explained that about half his released material are original songs and I doubt either company would put the effort into creating them for the game.

That got me thinking .... How many songs available for Rock Band have been parodied by Weird Al and how many have appeared in his polkas? The answer is 48 total. I turned the results into a chart:

In his song Bedrock Anthem, Weird Al parodied both Under the Bridge and Give it Away and since they both are available in the game, I counted them both. Also, Enter Sandman (available in a polka medley) and Give It Away though appearing on the disk for Rock Band and Rock Band 2 respectively were among 10 songs that were not allowed to transfer to the hard drive to play in Rock Band 3 due to licensing issues.

free movie time

2010-11-28T22:33:00.000-08:00

Thanks to the HBO/Cinemax free 10 day special plus the ATT U-Verse special over Thanksgiving weekend, I was able to catch up on movies that I have never seen and see some movies that I have not seen in a while: Here is a list and some comments. Note: There are spoilers.

Movies I had never seen before:

Army of Darkness: Heard about Bruce Campbell and the movie through songs. I could see the appeal though it was cheesy at times.

Coraline: Though the plot was typical I enjoyed how well the animation looked.

Up: As heard by others the beginning of the movie was as good as expected. Unfortunately, everything after could not live up to it in spite of them trying.

The Princess and the Frog: Another movie that was really enjoyed by my friends. I could see why. The music and story was well done even though I should have figured out the plot.

Kung Pau: I had seen parts of it but never all in one viewing. My daughter was watching it with me and after the fight in the meadow stated it was the dumbest thing she has ever seen and wants the 45 minutes of her life she spent watching up to that point back.

Muppets Take Manahttan: Never saw it before. Never want to see it again.

Frost/Nixon: I heard about those interviews and after watching the well done movie want to see if that is how things went.

Invictus: I am among the few people who knows the story of the 1995 Rugby World Cup and that event made me realize how big of an advantage the host country of world wide events have. I was very impressed by how accurate the events of those games and how well the action of rugby were portrayed.

Movies I have seen before:

Avatar: Saw it in 3D on New Years Day and after a long night before missed part of it. Very enjoyable in regular vision and I still don't understand why the love scene was so scrutinized. I would not mind my ten year old daughter watching it.

Apollo 13: I am still amazed by how things were done in the world of 1970.

Animal House: Since I had to pause the movie for about 15 minutes whuile watching it on Friday morning, I did skip by scenes I did not feel appropriate for my kid to see. She said she would love to scream food fight at school. I did not realize Donald Sutherland was in the movie and after seeing Apollo 13, tried to connect him to Kevin Bacon. Then I noticed a very young Kevin Bacon on the screen.

Spiderman 2: By far the best of the 3.

Blues Brothers: Watched it with a group of friends late Saturday night. 6 people in the room all grew up in 6 different states. Unlike other movies that depict other areas, the Blues Brothers seems to only be enjoyed by those who live in the Chicago area. For some reason, while watching the movie, I was trying to figure out how it could be shadow casted with me playing Jake when someone asked if that movie was ever shadow casted. One thing for sure, it would need a lot of people many playing multiple parts for it to have a chance.

Game number 64

2010-11-18T03:00:00.000-08:00

Tonight is the one night in four years where I am the embodiment of the enemy. Yes, the Chicago Bears are playing the Miami Dolphins at Sun Life Stadium on a Thursday night NFL Network special broadcast. Since the game starts shortly after 7PM, I was planning on not doing my Dementia Radio show since there is no way I can do my show and watch the game since my casting computer is in my basement and the tv is upstairs. (Decided to do show after all and just check on cast during comercial)

It has always been uncomfortable when these two teams met when I was a kid but things changed in 1985 when the Dolphins inspired by members of the perfect 1972 team, blew out the previously undefeated Bears.

Anyway, here is a synopsis of the Bears/Dolphins games over the last 25 years:

Dec 2, 1985 (Miami): Starting Bears QB Jim McMahon was on the sideline still recovering from injury. The Dolphins were 8-4 suffering the effects from losing the previous super bowl at the beginning of the season but playing much better at this time. Dolphins QB Dan Marino behind his strong offensive line and with his WR had the perfect system to counter the Bears agressive "46" defense and was able to complete passes before the Bears pass rush could get to him. Their defense sold out completely on stopping Walter Payton early and forced backup QB Steve Fuller to try to beat him and he could not. Though Jim McMahon played the second half and Walter Payton finished with over 100 yards rushing, it was not enough and Miami won 38-24. (the wireless internet code for my house is 3824DEC285)

Sep 4, 1988 (Chicago): Though Payton retired, Neal Anderson was leading the Bears rushing attack and they were still a decent team. The Dolphins by then were not. Though Marino was still there his offensive line and wide receivers were nowhere as good and their defense was bad. Behind 2 rushing touchdowns each by Anderson and McMahon, the Bears won 34-7 controlling the ball for almost 45 minutes, the second longest time of posession in their team history.

Nov 24, 1991 (Chicago): On a cold, windy day near the lake where snow fell, neither offense could do much. The Bears were leading late when punter Maury Buford dropped a snap giving Miami field position and Marino threw his only touchdown pass of the day to bring the game into overtime. They got the kickoff and drove the field making a field goal to win 16-13.

Nov 13, 1994 (Miami): The 1994 Bears were probably one of the worst teams ever to make the NFL playoffs. Though 10th in points allowed with 307, they were 24th out of 28 in points scored with 271. Four times during the year and in the playoffs, they were down three touchdowns. The Dolphins were on their way to winning their division. The week before the game, I said the Bears were going to win. Why? The previous two weeks, the Dolphins running back and fullback got hurt and were missing the game along with their number 2 wide receiver. They averaged 10 receptions per game.

As expected, the Dolphins were able to move the ball but without their running backs, were unable to get into the end zone until late. The Bears did not do much either scoring their two touchdowns on a fake field goal attempt and after a fumble. They made a field goal to take the lead and blocked the Dolphins' game tying attempt to win 17-14.

Oct 27, 1997 (Miami): The Dolphins were a decent team but the Bears were not being 0-7. With the Bears coming off a bye week and the game being changed to Monday night on Saturday due to the World Series in Florida needing game 7, I was worried but still expected a Dolphins' win and the Dolphins came out flat. Except for a 71 yard reverse, they did nothing the first 28 minutes of the game and the Bears were up 15-7 after a TD, two field goals and a safety. When the Dolphins scored a touchdown at the end of the first half, Jimmy Johnson tried chasing the 2 point defecit and failed.

After the Bears got their third field goal, the Dolphins scored on a fumble return and again failed on the two point conversion being up 19-18. Two more Dolphins TDs put them up 15. However, Bears QB Erik Kramer threw two late TDs against a tiring Dolphins defense and after converting a 2 point try sent the game into ot.

The Bears got the ball first and after completing a 30 yard pass after the 40 second clock expired, kicked a game winning field goal 36-33. That night, I learned to not go for two until you absolutely have to.

Dec 9, 2002 (Miami): With the NFL restructure, it was 5 years between games. The Bears were still bad. The Dolphins were a different team with Dan Marino retired and Ricky Williams rushing the ball. I was waiting for 5 years to return the comments I heard. Ironically, that day at work we had a meeting about personal conduct towards others and along with talking about religious and personal values, sports were mentioned.

Anyway it was not much of a game played in a downpour. Williams had 212 rushing yards and 2 TDs. Henry Burris threw his first touchdown pass late to make the final score 27-9 Miami.

What was done at halftime did not sit well with me. The Dolphins retired Larry Csonka's number 39. At the end of his speech, he thanked the 1985 team for beating the Bears. Fortunately the city's disgust with the Bears did not create any feedback.

Nov 5, 2006 (Chicago) : Daunte Culpepper was going to make the difference for the Dolphins. He didn't. By then the Dolphins were 1-6 and had Joey Harrington at QB. The Bears were on their way to playing in the Super Bowl and were 7-0. For a month I was telling anyone who would listen that the 72 Dolphins will be able to do their annual champaigne toast after they lost to Miami and every Bears game was cementing my belief more. Why? The Dolphins were coming off a bye and I knew Bears QB Rex Grossman is not the same player in bad weather and figured the timing was right.

People were wanting to make bets with me including having me eat dolphin meat when they lost with them eating bear met if the "impossible" (their words, not mine) happens. Them eating bear meat would not make the win better for me and me eating dolphin meat would make it worse so I realized making that bet would be stupid. I also turned down an offer from the VP of production to attend the game with him since I did not want to be the target of drunk and angry Bears fans when they lost. (those were my words to him)

Dolphins' DE/LB Jason Taylor won the defensive player of the year award in that game with 3 sacks, two forced fumbles and an interception return for a touchdown. Fueled by 6 Bears turnovers, the Dolphins won 31-13.

The next day, not one person commented to me about the game. I was holding up one hand to my ear Hulk Hogan style to enjoy the silence while smiling.

I stated in August that the only way the 2010 Bears will look like the 1985 version is by being down by 21 points in Miami at halftime. Nothing I've seen this year had made me change that thought until November 14th when the Dolphins' top two QB and Jake Long, the best offensive lineman in the game, were injured. With their third string QB probably starting the game and Long questionable, I will be starting the Bears defense on my fantasy team. (Note: I make the best fantasy choices for my team and though I would want to see the Dolphins score 40 points, I do not see it happening.)

I only have one hope for the game and that is of the Dolphins' organization: Please do NOT honor the 1985 team at halftime since it has been 25 years. Though I appreciate what happened that night, it would be in bad taste and since they did not even make it to the Super Bowl, they don't deserve it.

a new demographic

2010-11-13T07:48:00.000-08:00

Though ages ending in zero are the most celebrated, the ones in five are considered important by society since it changes how people are defined. The former retirment age, AARP membership and categories of people for advertising purposes are based on ages ending in five.

Last month, I had my yearly meeting with my insurance agent who examined a couple of my policies and made some changes. I was also reminded my life insurance policy will renew and I will be reevaluated as far as risk since things change with people.

Knowing weight can put a person in a higher risk category like tobacco, diabetes, blood pressure medication or history, I asked about that chart and saw this:

For weight, there are three levels of increased premiums. I just listed the ones where the additional cost would occur.

Though my weight at that time 284 barely put me out of the range, now being 45 puts me over. Since then, I have gotten to just under 280 but I still have over 10 lb to go. I just need to sometime within the next 365 days lose the weight necessary to keep my premiums from more than doubling rather than going up about 25%.

The discount rate? Would be nice but by getting to that point, the base rate would go down but I would be placed in a higher category by losing more than 25 pounds in a year.

The cause of and solution to all of life's problems.

2010-11-11T12:58:00.000-08:00

Truer words were never spoken by Homer Simpson as those about alcohol. This weekend is a convention called Windycon located in Lombard, IL and since it is held on the second week of November, I generally treat that as the time to celebrate my birthday. Last year, we had my Rock Band setup and I hardly drank. This year, I will have no con committments expect for getting home safely and I know of people who would help me if I was unable to safely drive home.

I have had many different experiences involving alcohol and created a chart describing them and will explain them below:

A: Asshole. If I drink a little alcohol, I become one. This is the reason I generally avoid drinking at home, with my in-laws or at work parties. This happens when I have a responsibility towards someone else or something I own and I know I can't drink enough to where my judgement would be impared or when my mood is ruined. In situations where that can happen, it is best for me to not drink at all.

B: Too fast. This happened one time to me when I got to a con at 12:30 AM and quickly drank two awesome tasting green beverages. As I was finishing my second one, I found out Everclear was in it. I have never vomited the same night from drinking alcohol and this was the closest I ever got. Usually when I drive home from a con, I will stop drinking 90 minutes before I need to leave. I realized that it would take more than 90 minutes and for the only time had someone take me home.

C. Ill. I ate too much before that evening and when I added alcohol, my digestive system went into overdrive. Much of the evening was spent making mad dashes to the toilet.

D. Not there. Sometimes when drinking, I get to the point where the taste, concept, or responsibility of alcohol won't allow me to have any more. I am not an asshole but don't get to enjoy the feeling it can give.

E. Square root of 13. This is the stage I was in when the picture on my profile was taken. I start to rate my intoxication level not from 1-10 but based on a number times the square root of 13. This is what happens when someone who can work with numbers like I do starts to drink.

F. Wheeeeeee. The fun things happen. Six years ago this weekend, I got to that point on Friday and somehow my wife also got to that point on Saturday with me. Every time my wife without the kid joins me at a con, I try to get her and I to that point. Only one other time did that happen.

G. Free Bird. I start to show effects of the alcohol most memorably while playing Free Bird on Guitar Hero against a person dressed as a Trojan Warrior at 3 AM. While we were "singing" during the beginning on the song, I leaned back to play notes and since I was leaning against a corner of the bed, fell on my back and was still playing the notes as I staggered back up.

H. Charlie Brown. This happened one time when I was insulted by my in-laws at a wedding and told that I do not drink. Since all they had there was Bud Light, it took a while for me to feel the effects of the alcohol. Doing the Cha Cha Slide, I made sure no one was in front of me. When the line "Charlie Brown" came up, I took three quick steps, kicked my right leg, threw myself into the air and screamed "AAAUUUUGGGHHHH!" landing on my back. I got up to my stunned in-laws, finished the song and screamed at them, "That is why you don't see me drink!"

I. Passed out. Happened twice. Woke up and had no idea how I got there until remembering later.

The Madman fixes the world of sports (part 4)

2010-11-04T19:12:00.000-07:00

The Chicago Bears offense.

No, this is not a joke. Is spite of how they have looked, I know what they need to do to make the most of what they have.

I had the opportunity to see the most recent game in person and I can say it was the most poorly played professional sporting event I have ever seen and I am talking about both teams.

First of all, coach Lovie Smith is a decent coach except from the time the game starts until it ends. Though he is a good coach in practice, his on field management is horrible and needs to be replaced. The Bears need to have someone assigned to him who understands concepts like clock management, fourth down decisions and what plays to challenge and has the authority to make those decisions for the team. (Note: I can help)

I was not happy when Mike Martz was assigned to run the offense but not because I don't like the concept of it. I saw it succeed in St Louis and Detroit but I knew it will fail with the current Chicago Bears.

First of all, that offense needs a versitle running back who can catch passes. They have that in Matt Forte and Chester Taylor who are suitable. Other than that it is a serious mismatch.

First of all, the Martz offense worked with Kurt Warner, a fairly immobile quarterback who can quickly read defenses and make correct decisions. Bears QB Jay Cutler is an athletic QB who can make instinctive plays but has problems making correct choices. The Martz offense takes advantage of Warner's strengths while exposing Cutler's weaknesses. The one touchdown pass Cutler had against Washington was on an instinctive play.

Since the QB needs to drop back and read defenses, he needs an offensive line to keep pressure from him. The Bears line is bad. St Louis had Orlando Pace at left tackle who will be in the hall of fame in four years. (He was done by the time he joined the Bears). The Bears line is overmatched and needs to fool the defense with counters, play action and roll out passes. The Martz offense is straight forward in blocking and the Bears get exposed badly. This Sunday, the Bears offense will have its best game of the year against Buffalo since they were off last week while the Bills played 5 quarters losing on the last play in overtime. Bad teams and players play better after the bye week and the Bears offense definitely qualifies as one.

The Martz Rams had two very good route running wide receivers and one good one and tight ends who are basically linemen that wear numbers in the 80s. The Bears have 2 speedy kick returners, 2 never-will-bes and one special teams player at wide receiver and 2 pass catching tight ends who don't block well. 'nuff said.

The Rams offense was known as the greatest show on turf. The playing surface at Soldier Field is known as the worst in the league. I saw people wiping out in warmups. On one pass play in the game, two wide receivers and one defensive back fell without being touched. Precision and timing is not possible for home games. The best pass patterns for Soldier Field are those that do not involve sharp cuts and take advantage of the Bears speedy wide receivers and athletic, strong armed QB. This weekend in Toronto (where Buffalo is hosting) the Bears wide receivers will have good footing and will be able to make plays without having to worry about their footing. If possible install field turf. Please.

After the Buffalo game it will get ugly.

chaotic neutral

2010-11-03T15:30:00.000-07:00

The title is how I refer to myself politically. I find serious faults with the ideals of both major political parties and not wanting to completely associate myself with one of the other ones, refer to myself that way.

I am registered as a Republican since living in DuPage County, Illinois, the Republican primary determines the winner in all countywide elections. I was very annoyed by all the phone calls and junk mail I got over the past month including a call at 5PM from a woman who I explained that I have never missed an election since I have been eligible to vote in 1984 and had already voted.

As I stated in a recent chart, people call me liberal in the regular world since I do not care for the Christian and corporate based politics of the Republican party. I also believe the Democrat party is over focused on people who they precieve to need help at the expense of people like me who don't have that much to begin with. I also grew up with a negative feeling to the Democratic party.

My parents who live in Chicago are registered Democrat (like I was when I lived in the city) but vote for who they want in general elections feeling the same way that I do. In Chicago the Democratic party was known as the machine and my mother's family was directly impacted by their policies before I was born:

The machine became known in 1960 when Mayor Richard M. Daley had the city vote returns arrive late with just enough votes to allow John F. Kennedy to defeat Richard Nixon. Had California gone for Kennedy, people could have said that Daley won the election for Kennedy.

Anyway, my uncle after turning 18 went to vote in 1964 and when stating his name, Martin J. Bobber Jr., was told his father, Martin J. Bobber Sr. voted earlier in the day. That really confused my uncle since his father died in October 1959. Records stated Martin J. Bobber Sr. voted both times in 1960 and 1962 as well as the 1964 primary. My uncle had to produce a death certificate to prove Martin J. Bobber Sr. can no longer vote and after 3 long hours finally got them to rip up his record.

So yes, I know the dead has voted in Chicago.

showing your support

2010-10-24T18:25:00.000-07:00

While walking to and from the football game and inside, I noticed a vareity of Bears jerseys worn by fans and not just number. With alternate jersey colors and designs, there were many different versions of jerseys worn at the game of current and famous past players along with generic shirts and jackets so trying to create a chart of that along with watching the game and most importantly my daughter was not feasable.

I decided to break down clothing worn at the game by what they are so here is the chart:

People who know me could ask why I did not wear my Dan Marino jersey. First of all, it is 15 years old and has been in the wash numerous times and looks like it has. I also did not want my daughter to see drunk, obnoxious fans make rude comments towards me because of my clothing like what happened to me in 1998 at Wrigley field when I wore my Dolphins Jacket. Since the 1985 Bears team was honored at halftime and I wondered out loud why they showed highlights of all but one game, it was a good choice.

Also, I don't own any Bears clothing that would fit me and I figure wearing something different would make it easier for her to spot me in the thousands of people there in the case her and I get seperated.

Anyway, IT'S TILE!

There is no "s" at the end of Soldier Field

2010-10-24T17:50:00.000-07:00

On Thursday, our company president gave away two sets of two tickets to the October 24th game between the Chicago Bears and Washington Redskins. My name was drawn so I took my ten year old daughter who expressed interest in going. Looking at the Bears site, I discovered cash parking at the game is $26 and 2 miles away so I drove to my parents house to take CTA as I used to do with my father when I went to games with him in the 80s. Now travelling rail as opposed to bus made that option better.

I remember simply walking straight there with my father from Roosevelt and State St. following the group. However, it is not the same. In order to avoid pedestrian traffic on the streets around Soldier Field, walkers were routed via police enforced barracades through the southern end of Grant Park and around the Field Museum to get to the stadium.

Having not seen a Bears home game in almost 16 years, I was curious to see how the stadium looked from the inside. Though the stairs were steep, it looks like a 21st century stadium with two large jumbotron screens and I was impressed.

Here is a picture showing the walk my daughter and I had.

stumping the madman

2010-10-23T07:34:00.000-07:00

Even in the real world, my knowledge of sports specifically football and Super Bowl history is considered obcessive. When I saw the symptoms of Asperger's listing an over abundance of knowledge of a specific subject, that is what came to mind.

When watching sports on tv, I will state things before the announcers and every once in a while my wife is still amazed like during this year's PGA Championship when I noticed when Dustin Johnson illegally touched a bunker with his club incurring a two stroke penalty and costing him a chance to win that title. The announcers mentioned it ten minutes later.

Anyway, I noticed at work we printed a job which contains cards each having 5 trivia questions about each of the previously played 44 super bowls. My first instinct was to grab the sheet and write the answers but I had just finished my break so I had to wait until I got home.

All the questions which referred to cities and not specific teams ranged from what happened to the team during that season, to their nickname, to the site, MVP, or specific stats from that game.

Out of the 220 questions, I correctly answered 135 of them or 61.3%. For numbers 5, 7, 20, 25 and 44 I got all 5 correct and was wrong on all 5 for number 37. (I did not use roman numerals since it would make things more tedius than it already is)

I broke down the questions by super bowl numbers:

1-9: 32/45 correct
10-19: 30/50 correct
20-29: 32/50 correct
30-39: 21/50 correct
40-44: 20/25 correct

The years where I was actively playing tournament Scrabble are the ones I had the fewest ones correct and the oldest ones where I read books about them as a kid and the most recent ones I did the best.

I also broke the questions by type:

Site (where the game was played or planned to be played) : 9/12

Game play (specific things that happened in the game) : 36/60

Before game (things that happened in previous seasons, during that season, or in that year's playoffs) : 13/20

Stat (specific number ranging from points scored to turnovers to yards by player or team or specific time within game) : 16/44

MVP (game MVP) : 13/15 (two missed were position of Desmond Howard where I put WR and answer was KR and Brady completing most passes in a game for #38)

Team (about team nickname) : 9/10 (did not remember Carolina in #38 were known as the cardiac cats)

Game history (about events that occured suring or after game) 39/60

Other than those asking for a specific number, I got about 2 out of 3 correct.

I was surprised by the number I did miss though a couple of them were misread by me.

the real 03 NFL MVP

2010-10-14T17:51:00.000-07:00

Today marks the 7th anniversary of an infamous event in Chicago sports history as a baseball team completely collapsed after a fan interfered with a foul ball during game 6 of the National League championship series.

What most people don't realize that that incident also changed events in the National Football League as well. Let me explain:

First of all, I must state that since December 25, 1971 (Larry Csonka's 25th birthday) I have been a fan of the Miami Dolphins. As I am writing this, I am sitting 10 feet from the plaque of the 1972 team which by finishing 17-0 is the only team to go a full season without losing or tying a game.

I could talk about the Miami Dolphins references in my life ranging from the keychain hanging from my car's rearview mirror to a button on my computer that plays their theme song created in 1972 (which the Houston Oilers parodied for themselves in 1977) to passwords based on a game played 25 years ago (a topic for a post 5 weeks from today) but I will use my first visit to Don Shula's restaurant/bar to define my fandom where I noticed two footballs designed to show scores of playoff games having the wrong score and needing three months of emails to get it fixed.

Unlike most playoff series, I did care who won when the Cubs played the Florida Marlins for the NL title in 2003. I wanted the Cubs to win not because I am a Cubs fan. I root for then 156 games per year but in playoffs I usually root for the better team and Florida won 90 games to the Cubs 89.

I wanted the Marlins to lose. Why? They play on the same field as the Miami Dolphins and once baseball season ends, the grounds crew can tear up the infield and replace it with grass. I did not want the game played with dirt covering part of the field since it could create injuries and or bad footing.

Because Florida won, they could not place new sod over the infield and on October 19 the 4-2 New England Patriots faced the 4-1 Miami Dolphins. The Patriots were reeling having lost two straight games.

New England and Miami were tied at 13 late in the 4th quarter. Miami was driving and had a 35 yard field goal to win the game on the last play of regulation. The Dolphins' kicker, Orlindo Mare, at the time the second most accurate kicker in NFL history had the dirt in the infield give when his left foot planted and the kick ended up low and blocked.

In overtime, the Dolphins had the ball and had another 35 year field goal attempt to win the game. Having been a kicker I could tell Mare tried to compensate for the dirt on the attempt and the kick ended up wide right as the footing this time was solid. On the next play, New England caught the Dolphins flat footed and completed a 65 year touchdown pass to win the game.

The Patriots won their next 22 games after that including Super Bown XXXVIII. In an off season interview, Patriots' linebacker Teddy Bruschi stated that had they lost that game, they probably would have not won the Super Bowl that year.

So it can be stated that Steve Bartman was the real 2003 NFL MVP.

The Madman fixes the world of sports (part 3)

2010-10-06T17:43:00.000-07:00

Subject: playoffs and league formats

Since the baseball post season started today, I need to create this if nothing else to get my thoughts out of my system

My ideas for MLB, NHL, and NBA are sililar so I will group them. All the leagues have too many playoff teams for the number of regular season games played. Reducing playoffs by one round would remedy this. Of course, money is the issue and I would be fighting the desire for more money for the owners and players. I would also want to reduce the regular seasons by one or two weeks but then again, money.

The one thing that bothers me the most is their playoff scheduling. Today a game was played in the dome in Tampa at noon central followed by one in Philadelphia and a night game outdoors in Minnesota. I know the 4PM local start definitely factored in Roy Halliday's no hitter. Why did they schedule this; more viewers for the Yankees game.

Baseball is not designed for 40 degrees and rain but much of playoff baseball has that. It turns the game into a joke. In the day, the October weather is playable but people in power would rather have ratings rather than better played baseball.

The worst part of playoff scheduling is the off days. I understand having a day off for travel but not when teams are playing consecutive games in the same city. There should never be a day off between consecutive baseball games in the same city and no more than one day off for basketball or hockey. It takes away from the game.

Also, why can't a series start early if the two teams finish their round in less than the required games? Then following series would have less chance for bad weather. I also include basketball and hockey which played indoors in late May and June can cause courts to develop condensation and ice to turn into mush.

Championships should be played in decent conditions. The last three title matches played by Chicago teams involved 40 degrees and rain, a torrential downpour, and 85% humidity which made the indoor ice very slow and inconsistent.

Ba-con by the numbers

2010-09-28T16:43:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, people headed to Palatine and Addison, IL to see my friends Luke and Sara get married. While some of us were eating dinner on Friday night, we were saying this is like a convention and though I proposed Wedding Con 2, people decided to call this weekend Ba-con due to the groom's fondness for the product.

As I do, I decided to list things that happened last weekend in number form trying to keep things in cronological order:

3.05 - distance in miles from my house to hotel (shortest trip by far)
14.14 - distance in miles from O'Hare Airport to hotel
13.46 - distance in miles from hotel to church
551.49 - distance in miles of longest drive from home to hotel
1,543 - distance in air miles of longest trip to O'Hare
3 - number of Chicago Italian beef sandwiches Chris Mezzolesta had always wanting to try it
13 - age in days of youngest person when things started on Friday night
5 - people impressed that I made a logo for the Rock Band group "I want TILE!" using 25 squares to spell the word TILE.
75 - total number of people there
13 - states they call home (FL, IL, IN, IA, MA, MI, MN, MO, NY, NC, TN, VA, WI)
7 - comedy/filk music artists
18 - people who have at least a solo line in a recorded song
15 - people who attended "bachelor party" Friday night at Dave and Busters
2:21.17 and 3:07.76 - My best times on the easy and moderate course on the Daytona USA game (best times on any of the 8 machines in game)
14 - Highest level Luke reached on original Mario Brothers Game
2.07 - fastest time in seconds for Chris Mezzolesta to correctly answer 5 of 5 questions in trivia game
382 - consecutive notes hit in song on Guitar Hero Arcade by DJ Tommy Tooney
3,000 - points in tickets converted by my wife for four teddy bears, a pencil box, pen, pencil sharpener, and a small box of Nerds candy (note: some points were already on card when she got there)
2 - people on each side of bridal party
5 - people who posted pictures of the ceremony or reception while it was happening
10 - people who were thinking about the cello notes during Pachabel's Canon in D Major while it was being played at wedding.
55 - pounds the much slimmer ShoEboX lost this year
0 - people who shouted "Tile", "ok" or something similar during wedding since Sara demanded no one do that during the wedding ceremony
20 - people who shouted "TILE!" right after bride and groom left getting it out of their system
37 - age of youngest person of the two who conspired to change the "just married" letters on back of car to read "jist a murder"
8 - number of tables with a three sided centerpiece consisting of a movie or tv show poster, an additional poster or collection of material and a drawing of the bride and groom in the movie or show. (2 more were made but not needed)
10 - number of people who cringed when Danger Woman appeared in the multi person greeting played for the happy couple where she told Luke he should call her giving her phone number
8 - number of wedding photos of people related to bride or groom on display
4 - people who belly danced at start of reception (including bride)
12 - lit candles on top of one piece worn on one dancer's head
1 - candle at very top of piece not lit to make sure the paper lanterns hanging from ceiling were not accidentally set on fire
3 - songs groom sang during reception
50 - times I have seen Luke perform "Just a Gigolo" or his parody "Just Mister Londo"
200 - times Luke's brother said he saw Luke perform that song
12 - people who were still in hall 2 hours after reception ended
1 - little girl who opened a door that was closed and then locked herself in the basement traumatized by the sight of something neither her no anyone else should ever see
27 - people who attended party the following day at couple's house to open gifts and eat leftover food
1 - Mc Donald's bathroom "Culverized" by Rob Balder
5 - comedy music artists who though tired perked right up when someone suggested they write and record a song
4 - games Josh and I played while they were writing and recording said song
8 - people who ate at the "dead dog" dinner at nearby place on Sunday night
8 - different people I drove sometime during the weekend
203 - total miles driven

the music I have seen

2010-09-20T18:51:00.001-07:00

Last July, I showed the picture of me recording Luke Sienkowki proposing to Sara Trice and this weekend they get married.

Since I first met Luke at Alcon 2000, I have had the opportunity to see many musical performances by many talented people over the years and as appreciation of the work he has done on and off stage, am listing the most memorable ones. (Note: I am not including performances by Weird AL since I would have seen his shows whether or not I met Luke or got involved in the Dementia community. The ones listed are only cover those I saw because of Luke)

I am going to put them in cronological order:

Windycon masquerade. November 2003: As has has done at Gencon for years, Luke performed entertainment while the judges decided who won. He always adds extra backing tracks to his show CD just in case he needs more time than given. This time, the judges could not make up their mind and he was on stage for over 90 minutes instead of the 20 he was expected. I had to rush his back up CD of music to the person playing it and then with the playlist in my hand tell him what number since I could tell what he was going to play by either the audience request or his hint. Now with his background music on a portable device, that would not happen again but the chaos that happened on stage along with how well he handled it caused the show to make my list. If I ever write the book about my experiences with music and fandom, that night would be the first chapter.

The Nick Atoms. March 2004: Luke told people you have to come to a convention called Marscon located in Bloomington, MN. 7 of us packed into a van and we headed there. I was going to the parties but decided to listen to their show. I was amazed by their unique sound and style and though they have gone their seperate ways now, appreciated what they had.

Da Vinci's Notebook. March 2004: I heard some of their music played on the trip to Marscon but was not impressed. I was still talked by Luke into driving to Madison Wisconsin the following weekend to see them on their farewell tour. From the first song, I was mesmorized by how well they performed together with no instruments. Upon seeing two of them a couple of years later as a different act, I mentioned that show and they both wished that someone was recording it.

Penguicon filk circle. April 2004: Filk circles are a staple of most science fiction conventions and they consist of people sitting in a room and in turn performing a song. Some are funny, some are serious. Most of the time when this is happening, I would rather be in one of the party rooms. This one was different as by 2 AM it consisted of comedy music artists rather than filkers. In turn they each performed a song to the dozen or so people watching. The finale was when ShoEboX from the group Worm Quartet decided to perform a brand new song which is his attempt to write the most evil song every written. The room was broken into three groups and each had a word to chant on cue. The song performed "What Your Parents Think (all your music sounds like)" is still enjoyed by everyone who listens to it and many people, including me, move to a specific part of the room when they realize it is time for that song so they can chant their favorite evil word.

Sudden Death. April 2004: On the weekend Weird Al's parents died from Carbon Monoxide poisoning, there was a small convention in the Chicago area. I had heard Sudden Death perform a couple of times before most notably to the backs of people who were in line to get an autograph from Weird AL and his wife Suzanne in 2002. With his projector, his show made fans of many there. He got a rare standing ovation by other artists about his song concerning work meetings. The folowing year he had the number one song on the Dr Demento show and in 2007, had numbers 1,2,and 4 and his album was nominated for a Grammy.

Dragon*con masquerade September 2005: In early 2005, Luke started work on a special song to perform with Carrie and she could not wait for me to hear it once it was done. When she accidentally told me the name "Grease Wars" a month before it was finished I knew exactly what it was going to be; a series of song parodies from Grease telling the story of Star Wars episode 4, A New Hope. When I first saw it performed, I knew it was special. After hearing it many times in 5 different states, it was time for Dragon*con. They were able to get a spot in the masquerade and since I was filming it for them, I was able to join the room of over 5,000 people hoping they would react to the song the same way I did. The reaction was so positive, he must have sold over 150 CDs that night after the masquerade ended and more during it by people who saw it on tv and headed to his table to get the song now.

Gencon August 2006: Though Luke was the halftime entertainment at the Gencon masquerade for many years, he only in recent years also got time to perform regular shows there. Devo Spice and ShoEboX joined Luke and Carrie for 3 hours of total mayhem on stage.

Jonathan Coulton October 2007: The two members of Da Vinci's notebook who still wanted to do music formed a group called Paul and Storm. On a rainy Monday night, I drove to the House of Blues to see Paul and Storm perform in the upstairs bar and not the main stage. Before them was a stoic, bearded performer sitting on a chair playing a guitar and singng in a calm tone. I was aptiently waiting for Paul and Storm but while talking to the person at Coulton's merch table to find out more about him I heard a lyric that got my attention, "Kennesaw Mountain Landis was a bad mother fucker". Knowing who he was I stopped talking and moved toward the stage to listen to the rest of his set. After finishing with "Re:Your Brains" and "First of May" (done with Paul and Storm) I was back at the merch table to get two CDs. The next time I saw both groups perform Paul and Storm was first and with the popularity of Portal and the song "Still Alive" they played to overflow houses and had to move to two larger venues to accomidate everyone who wanted to see them.

Paul and Storm March 2008: After a long time, Luke finally got Paul and Storm to appear at Marscon. Half way through the show, they stopped the show to take a phone call from Jonathan Coulton on stage. Though they knew it was going to be over the time allowed, they had to perform their final song "The Captain's Wife's Lament". As expected with the crowd, everything went well over the top, and by the time they were done one person was laughing so hard he could barely breathe.

Luke and Carrie Gencon 2010: The Gencon audience for Luke's show has always been the best con one that does not feature a lot of hardcore fans. Since Luke's wedding plans made it too difficult for him to make a complete new album, he did not need to play all new songs but decided to play material from his past as well as present material with Carrie who also played new material. In one song, the crowd, without having heard it before, was able to chant Wil Wheaton as the line before it led people to that rhyme. When the introduction to Grease Wars played (a song they had not performed in almost two years at that time) started, the reaction from the crowd gave me chills and though the song has become redundant for me as I have heard it over 250 times and seen it performed 45 times live, it was awesome to see it done.

While doing this, two other performances which are personally special to me need to me mentioned:

Rush June 2008: Yes, the group with Geddy Lee, Alex Lifeton and Neil Pert. Sara (who has a picture with her siblings and Geddy Lee on her wall) is able to get comp tickets and that year, she asked me to go with her. Sitting on the floor of the United Center ten rows from the stage is something I will never forget. I can't believe they have never even been nominated for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Carrie Dahlby March 2010: In 2007 Carrie wanted to parody the Eminem song he did with his daughter and used my kid for that role. Though she had performed on stage with my kid before, it was special to see them on stage at Marscon.

misfit

2010-09-10T19:13:00.000-07:00

Over Labor Day weekend, tens of thousands of fans flocked to downtown Atlanta for Dragon*Con for their annual convention. Being large enough to cover multiple hotels, they have many top notch media guests from movies, tv, and writing. In the years I have been there, I have seen people from Firefly/Serenity, Buffy, and Mythbusters, along with Mickey Dolenz, Adam West, Eric Estrada, the Iron Sheik and cartoon voice actors Billy West and Roger Bumpass.

Since they have grown over the past couple of years, they decided to remove the comedy music track since they did not draw enough guests to their liking. Therefore, making that trip to Atlanta is no longer as desirable as it used to be.

In 2007, Notre Dame played Georgia Tech in the Georgia Dome on Labor Day Saturday to a full house. After seeing that Chick-Fil-A, which is headquartered in Atlanta decided to make the opening weekend of college football Labor Day Saturday game in the Georgia Dome an annual event giving almost $2 million each to the two schools who sent teams there.

This year Louisiana State played North Carolina. Each school sold 31,000 tickets. Fans flocked to Atlanta to see the game. Many of them found out about Dragon*con and reserved rooms at the convention hotels at the Dragon*con rate stating they were attending it. Others decided to hang out there and watch the geeks. It got overcrowded and crazy fast. The hotels had to eventually check for badges before people were allowed into the hotel and that created a problem since some hotel attendees were there for the game.

The chat in the channel I hang out this week focused on this and the fact that Dragon*con needs to follow the lead of Gencon and Convergence by not allowing hotel reservations to people unless they have purchased membership at the con.

However the chat turned towards anger to the football fans and being one, I took offense to some of what was said especially when I won't be seeing much of the opening weekend of the NFL season or week 3.

This made me think of the song idea I had a few years ago comparing my life in the mundane world to that in fandom but never really got it past the development stage.

Here is a chart of some of them:

I do have a bad habit of exploiting the differences I have with people rather than the similarities no matter which group I am with. I need to work on that.

Family Circus style driving part 9

2010-09-04T06:01:00.001-07:00

At the risk of this blog turning into "ignorant things done by the person stupid enough to marry me", I am posting this. Though it involves driving a longer than normal route, it really is unlike the others I posted.

About 5PM six years ago, I had to drive north to get my four year old daughter from day care. On the way back, I saw a bunch of smoke around where my house was and got really scared when the police blocked the street where I live. I drove around, parked on the street and ran carrying my daughter to where the fire was. It turned out that the house across the parking lot, 75 feet from mine, was on fire. Sad, but relieved, I took the kid inside as the fire truck pulled into the lot.

About 45 minutes later my wife rang the front door bell and I could tell she was upset. She said she got a ticket. I asked her what happened. She stated she had to drive around the block because the police would not let her on our street and when she got to the corner, they tried to block her again and after she drove through it, they gave her a ticket.

When I explained to her that the house across the parking lot was on fire and the lot is blocked so the fire truck can get there, she did not care. All she cared about was parking her car in her spot behind the house and now she has to leave the house again to move her car.

Here is the map:

Though the house was not completely destroyed, it took about a year of repairs for it to once again be habitable.

The secret to his success

2010-08-28T05:59:00.000-07:00

I will start by stating this: I have hated Tiger Woods for over 30 years. When I saw a two year old golfer on the Mike Douglass show with his golf pro father while I was hitting plastic golf balls with a wooden cane even in winter except for the two times in the year I would play golf with my father on the course, I got jealous. (Note: Since I was hitting the plastic balls in a empty lot with rocks, I was not allowed to use real clubs)

My jealousy got worse as I became able to hit cheap golf balls up to and over 300 yards in the 1980s with clubs that were made before I was born. Once I started working full itme, I took lessons, got low end equipment and got decent at the game (scoring in the low 80s breaking 80 a couple of times) but never got as good as I had hoped. Today, I am forced to swing left handed due to the problem I have in my left hip.

Eventually the two year old I saw on tv in 1978 grew up and started to play on tour and started to win. In 2000, he dominated like no other golfer I have ever seen before did and hearing people on Golf Network tall about it inspired this post. Obviously his upbringing allowed him to have the knowledge to go with the strength a 24 year old would have but there was more and though I heard about it then, no one talks about it now.

Nike after signing Tiger Woods developed their golf portion of the company and with Tiger, developed equipment including a golf ball that was superior to the Titleist ball 90% of the tour used. People stated the ball was able to go farther, spin more consistently and stay in shape better giving the player who uses that ball a 1-2 shot per round advantage.

Due to contracts, most tour golfers could not switch from Titleist. Paul Azinger did and was voted comeback player of the year. Bob May, a previously unknown golfer who lost the 2000 PGA to Tiger by one shot, also was playing the Nike ball. The new Titleist ball introduced in 2001 negated that advantage and that is why Tiger does not win tournaments by over 10 shots anymore.

Anyway, I have had this thought in my head for a month now and by writing this, I was able to get it out.

more rocking

2010-08-26T17:00:00.000-07:00

Earlier this year, Harmonix started releasing info about Rock Band 3 due out late October. First they stated it will have 3 part harmonies and keyboard. Then they said a pro mode is being developed where a player will actually play the individual keys on the keyboard and on the guitars they are creating for the game hold the fret buttons the same way a real guitar would be held to play the note. The pro drums mode will involve more cymbal action and more options to hit.

About half the songs in the game were announced over the past couple of months with the balance announced last weekend. After looking at the list, I started to wonder if Harmonix decided instead of creating a full game with a disc and just improved the game with a system download and then put the 83 songs for download on a pay per song basis over the next six months, what would I do?

This chart shows the answer:

The others are a live version I would have to hear before getting, one I only know from a Weird Al polka, one a reverse parody where I do not know the original.

The game will cost $60. Thirty one downloads at $2 equal $62 so the game is worth getting. I expect that within some of the 40 songs I don't know by title there will be some that I end up recognizing.

The Madman fixes the world of sports (part 2)

2010-08-19T17:31:00.001-07:00

Subject: Fantasy sports; mostly fantasy football

As I made this post under the fantasy sport championship banners and trophies that hang from the ceiling in my basement, I see so much wrong with how it is played when I hear about other leagues. Even in the one league that I am annually the one to beat over the past 10+ years, there are things that I do not like but it is the least bad one I see so I tolerate it.

First of all, lineup. Any league with less than 8 or more than 12 is not feasable. Unless the league is 8 players, having more than one active QB is wrong. Active running backs should be one or two per team. Some leagues wrongly allow a third running back to be active as a flex player. Wide receivers should be two or three and one tight end and kicker. Having a flex position only works in leagues that have one RB and two WR. Any more than those in any position is not feasable with a 32 team league since it would remove the ability to choose which players to make active in each week or force players to drop players in bye weeks. Also, defense should be a unit and not individual players unless you have a league with people who are able to dedicate the time necessary.

Generally, there should be 6-7 extra spots in each roster to allow for byes and injuries and to force players to decide what players to keep active. My best concept is to allow teams an extra roster spot during bye weeks but I have yet to see a league incorporate that.

The scoring systems used is what I find most wrong with all fantasy leagues. My philosphy is simple. Every yard counts, every turnover counts, every point scored in the game counts. No more, no less. What I mean by every yard is that fractional and negative points need to exist so every yard gained or lost will count be it passing, rushing, receiving or return no matter who gains it. I have seen a league without return yards.

One other scoring thing that is needed. NO FLUFF! What does that mean? No points for receptions, no points for a long field goal and definintely no points for reaching a yardage goal. I know a league that without feactional points where the difference between 299 and 300 passing years is the equivilent of one and a half passing touchdowns since there is a 5 pt bonus. When I heard that, I wanted to run away screaming.

One last thing that irritates me is people who fail to manage their team. One year there was a team who had 5 opponent player spots inactive in a three week span and I established the fact that I am asshole of my league calling them out. I can understand if a questionable player turns inactive and a person gets stuck. I have lost two games with that happening to me and lost a game that cost me a playoff berth and potential title not wanting to get burned and the questionable player did play.

I would love to penalize a team for having a bye player or a known injured player in their lineup by penalizing points in all future games within that season or the following one if applicable. The people in my league vetoed that idea when I brought it up.

For the past three years, my opponents have scored more points per game vs me than their theoretical average for the rest of the year. I believe playing against me causes people to actually think what they are doing since they want so badly to beat me.

Last year, I was able to overcome the one touchdown per week increase by my opponent over their statistical average to win my 7th title in 10 team leagues since 2002. (Note: That number involves 24 total leagues in football, baseball, basketball, and NASCAR.) 2004 was my last baseball league and 2007 was the last time I played more than one football league.

Family Circus style driving part 8

2010-08-12T16:28:00.000-07:00

Gencon Indy last weekend was one of the most enjoyable cons I have attended. From playing games to watching music to just hanging out and meeting cool people, it was the con I really needed to have.

After the con was over, I helped Luke pack the items from his merch table and he asked me to join him and his fiancee for dinner before we head home. Though I am not a chili person, I still decided to go to the Skyline Chili place figuring that like Lindy's Chili near my parents' house, they would have non chili items.

We were in the same parking lot but on different levels and since I did not have anything to pack, I figured I would exit and wait to follow them. Because of a car behind me, I had to circle the block but found a spot to wait.

After five minutes the phone rang. In the time I circled the block they left the lot and were on their way. With the sporatic signal from being downtown, I heard a street name and went on it. Turns out it was the wrong street.

Since it was late afternoon and the sun was out my phone was not much use especially since I did not feel comfortable stopping anywhere being unfamiliar with what areas are not safe and not wanting to find out the hard way which ones aren't.

Eventually through Sara's (Luke's fiancee) phone, they were able to guide me to the place. I also discovered that streets in Indy are designed to either go to or away from downtown. Here is the map:

As expected, there was something I could eat and I also found out that not all chili uses ketchup so maybe I might try chili in the future.

The Madman fixes the world of sports (part 1)

2010-07-23T18:41:00.000-07:00

I have followed sports ever since I was old enough to understand them and after almost four decades, I have seen a lot of things that could be better and have ideas to remedy them. No doubt many of them would not be instituted since it would cost money or prevent people from making more money. However, if I had the ability to make changes in most every sport (and some things I don't call sport) this is what I would do.

With so many things to change, I will be starting a seperate blog since some of my regular readers really don't care. However, the first one will be posted here:

Topic: Soccer

Orginally I thought this is the one sport which was fine. However, the recent World Cup showed very significant flaws that need to be corrected.

First of all, I am among the few who didn't mind the zuzuvelas. Background noise is part of the event and having the local music played made it seem special.

There are two things that definitely were at the forefront of the event. First of all was the ball. It was determined in wind tunnels that the new corporate designed ball for the event was unstable when struck at high speeds since the stiches were on the inside and the ball was perfectly round. Many people stated, "Both teams have to play with the ball so why does it matter?"

This is why. Imagine the NFL having a different ball for the playoffs which becomes unstable when thrown at high speeds or long distances. Wouldn't it hurt passing ball clubs more than running teams the same way a windy day can effect a game? The same thing happened at the World Cup. People complained about less scoring. Why? Long passes and shots were unpredictable. Spain was one of the few countries who did not depend on long passes and that allowed them to capture their first title. I believe all new future ball designs will be tested at game speeds. Duh.

The other issue is officating. From missed calls to bad calls, it dominated the event. I know FIFA wants controversy but not this way. The soccer referee has to cover an area that is bigger than a football field and it is common for the ball to travel from one end to the other in a few seconds.

He also has two linesman who can advise on fouls from the sidelines and can rule on offsides. That is not enough! The ref has a general path from one end of the field to the other which is way too much ground to cover. I propose having a second ref. It works with hockey and with each one covering to each goal line needing a goal camera would be unnecessary. The paths are listed here:

One more thing. People who speak English in the United States really don't care about professional soccer exccept for the World Cup. I am begging FIFA, ESPN and every other network to stop trying to get Americans interested. Americans prefer football played with laces and always will. It is embarassing. The networks made such a big deal over Landon Donovan's winning goal over Algeria even though it only made them advance into the round of 16 where the United States was beaten by a country that has fewer people than Texas.

The networks made a big deal when the women's team won the World Cup in the United States in 1999. A home country winning the title is not uncommon. They also compared that team to the one that won the Olympic gold medal in hockey in 1980. No, No, NO!

The 1980 US olympic hockey was assembled in the fall before the olympics and was made up of individuals from different college teams most of whom afterward went into the NHL. The 1980 USSR team played as a unit for only their home country. Those players went to special schools where with studies learned their sport from the best instructors and the best of them played for the country.

Over half of the 1999 US women's team went to the University of North Carolina and the national team at that time was the only one the women on it played for. Anyone else see which team in the miracle on ice game mostly resembled Mia Hamm and her teammates?

redefined

2010-07-22T13:31:00.000-07:00

While driving to the south suburbs on July 4th to see relatives on my mom's side of the family many for the first time in almost three years, I asked my daugther which subject I don't want to discuss will someone talk to me about first? Scrabble, golf or Weird Al concerts. To my surprise bowling was the one that came up.

At work on the day I finished 15 years at my company I had four different people ask me a question about all four subjects and I had to nicely explain why I don't play Scrabble or golf, that I have no idea what new bowling balls exist and why I am not going to see Weird Al again this summer explaining the internal gut ache I now get driving home from his shows marking to the date the time since I took a picture with him that did not develop.

In a December post, I explained why I don't play Scrabble and in a post earlier this month, why I won't see Weird Al in four states this summer. The reason I can't bowl or golf anymore is the same so I will try to explain:

In January 1994, I got real good at bowling. Over a 5 week span consisting of 45 games I averaged 215 at four different bowling centers. Four of my five highest three game series I ever bowled were in that span. After bowling three practice games one evening after work with my boss trying to help his game out, my fiancee wanted to practice herself. After work and three games, I wanted to rest but listened to her and went. The second ball I threw I felt a pop on the outside of my left leg. I thought nothing of it until I started to feel pain in my leg ranging from my knee to my hip.

The pain got to the point where I had to stop bowling and see a doctor. I went through a month of therapy and was ok the rest of the year though I did not bowl anywhere near as well as I did before I got hurt. That summer bowling in a league against the best in the city, my left leg not only popped but collapsed and I ended up 15 feet from the foul line. Though I tried to figure out a way to bowl after that, I could never bowl in a league again as the pain would always return no matter what I tried to do. It also got to the point where I could not look at my fiancee without being upset at her so I had to break up with her.

Eventually as I got older and heavier, my leg started to affect my ability to play golf as it would start to fail and prevent me from shifting my weight onto my left side. I finally decided to see a doctor again in 2008. He said I had bursitis in my left hip.

The gluteus medius muscle (muscle shown in the chart) is what stabilizes the leg when all the body's weight is on it. When the bursa is irritated it presses against the gluteus medius muscle and that causes the muscle to overwork, spasm and eventually fail. Bowling and golf causes weight to be transfered completely to the left leg for a right handed person. When the leg fails to support the body's weight, it makes bowling or golf difficult if not impossible to do let alone done well.

Indianapolis Colts QB Peyton Manning has his bursa sac removed a couple of years ago. However, he is younger and in much better shape than I am and the doctor said I would have to be close to 200 lb for him to even consider that surgery for me.

After therapy for that specific problem in 2008, my leg got better and I was able to hit golf balls again well. That fall, I felt a pop in my left knee three different times and exactly one year before this post, had surgery to repair damaged material. In the surgery, the outside of my left leg was braced against a steel support and the doctor's assistant pulled my lower left leg to the outside to allow access to repair the damage. I has spasms in my left leg for a couple of months after from the strain of the muscle being stretched.

Though I am functional as far as work, the idea of bowling or golfing is not plausible especially after my left leg failed on the driving range three weeks ago.

What do I do now? I still do my radio show every Thursday. Also, I have finally come to terms with the fact that my daughter's existance means my family name dies with me. Yes, it took me ten years to complete the five stages of grief. I do still attend conventions but my body won't let me do what I used to be able to do. I just exist and write in this blog and soon will start a blog where I produce ideas to fix what I see wrong in the world of sports.

oops

2010-07-15T18:09:00.000-07:00

I decided to keep stats for every player on my daughter's team and had game discs made for all of them on one image until I accidentally changed the size to one and erased all of them. I was able to reproduce five of them and here they are: (the other five hopefully by the weekend)

Note: It was for a game called All Star baseball where players are represented by a disc that is put inside a spinner. The number cooresponds to the result of the at bat. Also, outfielders, infielders, and pitchers and catchers had a different color pattern.

Numbers refer to:

* 1 Home Run
* 2 Ground out, double play with runner on first base
* 3 Runner reaches base on error
* 4 Fly out, all runners advance
* 5 Triple
* 6 Ground out, all runners advance
* 7 Single, runners advance one base
* 8 Fly out, runner on third base scores, others hold
* 9 Walk (Base on balls)
* 10 Strikeout
* 11 Double
* 12 Ground out, or lead runner is out (I modified it)
* 13 Single, runners advance two bases
* 14 Fly out, runners hold their bases
* 15 Hit by pitch (I added it)

I see dead people

2010-07-10T20:00:00.000-07:00

In spite of my post from last month, I decided to put my daughter's desire over my internal conflict and got two tickets to see Weird Al Yankovic on July 9 in Merilville, IN.

During the fourth song, Smells Like Nirvana, my daughter turned to my ear and stated, "He is playing the guitar left handed." Having never realized that before, I agreed and then told her, "Kurt Cobain, the lead singer from Nirvana, is left handed and since he is dressed like him, that is why."

That got me thinking ... How many famous dead people are referenced in this show? There is a lot of video footage shown between and during songs along with costumes based on people who have passed on.

As suggested by one of the regular readers, I put this chart together:

Tv: Irene Ryan (died 1970), Buddy Ebsen (d 2003) (shown on video before song Money For Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies)
Bob Denver (d 2005), Alan Hale (d 1990) (on video during unreleased song I'm in Love with the Skipper) Note: Other dead actors from Gilligan's Island were not in the concert video
Johnny Carson (d 2005): Shown twice mentioning Weird AL while doing the Tonight Show
Charles Nelson Reilly (d 2007), Gene Rayburn (d 1999) : (in song CNR talking about the legendary feats of Charles Nelson Reiley and in video shown during that song)

Music: Michael Jackson (d 2009) (Dressed like him while performing Eat it)
Kurt Cobain (d 1994) (Dressed like him while performing Smells Like Nirvana)
Jim Morrison (d 1971) (Dressed like him while performing Craigslist which is a Doors style parody)
Jimi Hendrix (d 1970) (during an in between song video where AL burns an accordion on stage in the same manner that Hendrix once burned a guitar)

He also performs part of his song Another One Rides the Bus (parody of the Queen song) during the medley where he does 1-2 minute parts of multiple songs.

In past tours he showed a scene from his 1989 movie UHF called Raul's Wild Kingdon featuring actor Trinidad Silva who died during the movie production.

Note: When a person has been performing material based on pop culture for over 30 years, it would almost be expected for some of the subjects of the material to be dead. I could not imagine a Weird AL show that does not involve him dressed as either Michael Jackson and Kurt Cobain.

The next level

2010-07-05T22:22:00.000-07:00

My daughter's 10U softball team had a far more successful season than last year finishing 10-4 in 4th place out of 11 teams. However, bad fielding combined with untimely hitting caused them to lose their playoff game vs the 5th place team who they easily beat earlier in the year.

My daughter who was noticibly taller than she was last year compared to her teammates also played better batting third in the lineup for much of the season finishing with 57 total plate appearences. Just like last year, I took all her plate appearences (except for the one game I could not attend) and make a game disc out of them:

Numbers refer to:

* 1 Home Run
* 2 Ground out, double play with runner on first base
* 3 Runner reaches base on error
* 4 Fly out, all runners advance
* 5 Triple
* 6 Ground out, all runners advance
* 7 Single, runners advance one base
* 8 Fly out, runner on third base scores, others hold
* 9 Walk (Base on balls)
* 10 Strikeout
* 11 Double
* 12 Ground out, or lead runner is out (I modified it)
* 13 Single, runners advance two bases
* 14 Fly out, runners hold their bases
* 15 Hit by pitch (I added it)

I decided to not consider errors since they are very common in 10U softball. Once she gets to 12U, I will start counting them.

Joining the 21st century (thanks to BMZ)

2010-06-30T18:21:00.000-07:00

While on the road from Penguicon in May, one of the people I was driving told me he had an ipod he was no longer using and after he cleaned it up, he sent it to me.

I was reluctant to use it at first but I soon discovered how useful it is especially when I worked on a Saturday and instead of having a beat up cd player and cds, I had my music in my pocket and with a set of headphones was able to listen to over 130 tracks for 9 hours without even coming close to draining the power or bothering the people who work with me. (ok, it is not perfect)

Just before I posted this I added more songs (including a disturbing brilliant track posted to the FuMP yesterday @ www.thefump.com) to get to 200. I noticed something unusual in what was on the device and created this chart:

With the Circue du So What Cd completely on my device, the sketch quantity is high but I was surprised to have over 4 times the number of original comedy songs compared to parodies and that does not include original songs from movies or musicals.

request denied

2010-06-24T17:00:00.000-07:00

The summer of 2010 marks the return of Weird Al Yankovic on tour and through Facebook and from others telling me or asking about riding with me, there was no way I would not know even though having decided following the last concert I saw him perform in September, 2007 that I would not spend another penny on him.

My curiosity did get the best of me and I decided to look at this tour's set list and got interested especially knowing that the songs on his new unreleased polka is something my daughter (who exprssed interest in seeing a concert) would enjoy since she knows more of them than I do. I looked at getting tickets but realized that except for the time between "Fun Zone" and "Yoda" (opening and closing of concert), it would not be worth the money, time and aggrivation and decided against it.

Looking at the tour schedule, I would have normally attended four different concerts in four different states. My total expected personal costs for the shows are listed here:

The one with lodging would involve a party the following day in the Detroit area.

Thinking about my decision to boycott AL and my post about what happened on my wedding day, I realized I am now being the same passive agressive person I was then. I decided to send a e mail to the drummer of the group Jon "Bermuda" Schwartz who I've met before. I asked about four backstage passes (me, my daughter, best friend and her husband) to the Detroit area or Rockford show since the Chicago area ones are taken by the same 15 or so people who I see every local show along with Bermuda's family. That idea was suggested three years ago to do by one of those 15 people.

As with the last 6 times I asked over the past 8 years, I got a courteous "no" reply. Apparently, I am not "good enough". I could really be bitter about it and be passive agressive towards them like the time a couple of years ago I saw one of the "Chicago AL fans" at a Jonathan Coulton concert and knowing he won $82,000 on Wheel of Fortune asked him why was he guessing "L" when "N,R,and T" were available?

I have made this mountain out of a molehill high enough and really don't want to add any more than I already did. Anyway, looking at myself in the mirror, if I ever got that opportunity to meet Al backstage, I would most likely do what I did at W00tstock a couple of weeks ago upon meeting Mythbusters Adam Savage:

She looks better than me anyway.

Whammy burger (again!)

2010-06-17T17:00:00.000-07:00

For the past four weeks, I have avoided McDonalds because the last three times I went through their drive thru in three different places, the price on the menu board for the 6 nuggets mighty kids meal was between 10 to 40 cents less than what I was charged and when I checked one of the locations a couple of days after, the price was not changed.

On June 16th, my daughter had a 6PM softball game on the same day the park district had a field trip at Lincoln Park Zoo and due to traffic, she did not get back until 5:15.

Knowing she takes her time to eat, we went to the closest place to get food which was a McDonalds and when the price was displayed, I noticed I was charged 20 cents more than listed. When I went to pay the bill, I tried to explain to the manager that this is the fourth different McDonalds in a row that had the wrong price on the drive thru menu board for the same item.

Wanting to get to the game I decided to not continue my complaint but as I drove around the building, I noticed the other menu board as the place had two and had to get out of the car to confirm what I saw.

When I got to the park, I called them:

"This is McDonalds, Can I help you?"

"Yes. This is the person who complained about your menu board having a wrong price ten minutes ago. I looked at your menu boards. One of them has it listed as $4.29 and the other at $4.39. You are charging $4.49 for the 6 piece nuggets kids meal." *click*

This confirms what I suspect. They don't care and no doubt the price has probably been wrong on the board for a while. Here is a map of the four locations and when I was there:

On my way home from work today, I stopped at the McDonalds where I had the discussion on May 18th. The price was still incorrect on the drive thru board.

All this leaves me to ask one question: "Am I the only person in the northeast part of Du Page county who pays attention when ordering and cares that the price listed is wrong?"

To compare, I have not seen any similar error at any other place. Just McDonalds who probably will not be seeing me again until the Mc Rib returns if at all.

from 203 to 32

2010-06-13T13:22:00.000-07:00

I have been asked how the World Cup field is determined so I figure I will summarize it the best way I can.

First of all, the host country, South Africa, automatically is in the tournament. The other 202 countries who entered played starting in August 2007 for the remaining 31 spots within their region of the world. 13 from Europe, 4 from Asia, 5 from Africa, 4 from South America and 3 from North/Central America make the field. The other two spots are determined by a playoff between the first non qualifier from North/Central America and South America regions along with the first non qualifier from Asia playing the Ocenania region winner.

For the United States, they had to qualify as one of three teams from 35 countries in the region. Seeded as one of the top 13, they did not have to participate in the first round where 22 teams played for 11 spots. The 11 advancing teams played a head to head match with one of the 12 seeded teams and the 13 seeded team played a match against one of the top 12. The US defeated Barbados 9-0 total goals in two games to advance.

The third round had the 12 teams play in three groups of four round robin home and away (6 total games per team) and the top two teams from each group advanced to the region final. Those 6 teams played another round robin home and away match (10 games per team) finishing last October 14 where the top three (US, Mexico, Honduras) made the final and the fourth place team (Costa Rica) went into a playoff with the 5th place team from South America (Uruguay) which Uruguay won. The United States had to play 18 total games from June 15, 2008 to Oct 14, 2009 with a total record of 13 wins, 3 losses and two ties to qualify for the final.

The 32 teams are seeded in four groups of 8 and one team from each group by random draw is placed in one of 8 groups of 4 as shown here:

The teams in each group play one match agains the other three teams and the top two advance into a 16 team single elimination format where the champion is crowned on July 11th.

Time to look back

2010-06-12T06:12:00.000-07:00

Since one of my co workers recently got married, the topic of weddings became a hot topic at work. After hearing about my wedding day 11 years ago from the date this post becomes public, one of the regular readers suggested I devote an entry to that day. With the regular Thursday topics date specific, I decided to make this seperate one.

I can say without a doubt that my wedding day, June 12, 1999, is one of the most frustrating days I have ever lived. Because it is the day I got married, the memory of it has not dwindled even after 11 years. It is possible that by making this post some of the bad memories will leave since in the past putting thoughts onto a screen have taken them out of my head. That is the main reason I am going to write this.

I decided to look at what happened from a third person perspective and realized that everything boiled down to four main things that caused my day to end up like it did. However, all of those things could have been resolved or made a non issue by actions made on the date and up to a couple of years before.

First of all was the hotel situation for me. For the out of town guests and myself, we reserved a block of rooms at a hotel in the area. When I got there, I discovered that my room was not a hot tub suite as I reserved. Apparently, they lost the note stating that the groom had a hut tub room reserved on his wedding night. After checking into the room they had for me and finally falling asleep, the phone rang shortly after midnight. They told me they were able to get me the hot tub room and I could move into the room now.

The only way this could have been prevented aside from staying in another hotel which would have not worked since the best man was also staying in the hotel was to confirm things with the hotel the night before so any problem would have been resolved before I got there. Then I would have not gotten upset at people the night before. However, last minute plans including getting my credit card left behind at Best Buy took over my thought process.

It makes sense for a hotel to place all people in a room block in the same area and that is what happened with me. The only good thing about it was when I saw my 2 year old nephew naked in the hallway after escaping the hotel room. I stayed with him until my sister realized he was missing and came running down the hall looking for him. Had I been in the suite I reserved, I would have not seen him on my way to the pool.

Anyway, I had everything moved into the new room and eventually fell asleep about 2 AM knowing that I had a tee time in 7 hours.

The next morning I had something special planned. I was going to play a round of golf with the men in my bridal party. On the 18th tee, I was going to grab a special ball out of my bag and state, "On the day Jack Nickalus got married, he played a round of golf with the men in his bridal party. On the 18th tee, he announced like I am doing today, 'This is the last drive I am going to hit as a single man!' He teed the ball, gave it a mighty swing and barely hit the ball as it rolled into a pond just off the tee just like this hole here. With this old golf ball with his logo on it I have saved since I first heard this story in 1988, I will beat Jack Nicklaus."

Well, the Joliet area had about two inches of rain that morning and the golf course was closed since it floods easily. I was very disappointed when I woke and confirmed what the news stated the night before. In spite of my best efforts, I could not get back to sleep after waking up at seven.

Since the 18th tee at that course was close to the entrance of the golf course and on a little hill, I could have easily gone there and just hit one ball even in the middle of pouring rain. Had I explained what it would mean to me, they probably would have let me hit one ball of the 18th tee. Of course, had I let someone who was not getting married that day know my plans, he could have suggested it to me. Ten years later, I allowed my plans to make a wedding special distract me from what I should have been doing in the role I had. Two opportunities forever lost in time.

By the time for the ceremony, the skies had cleared and though it was humid, it was a nice day. After what seemed like an eternity in the room off to the side it was time for the ceremony and after the woman I plan to spend the rest of my life with joined me at the altar and we nervously looked at each other for the precher to begin.

She started, "I, your name," I replied properly though it was difficult for me to not say, "your name". Then she said, "in the name of God." There was an uneasy pause for about 10 seconds as just about everyone on my side on the building and half the other side were wondering what my reaction would be. Nervous, I just repeated her words and everything else went without a hitch.

As someone who as George Carlin stated was Catholic until he reached the age of reason (which for me was a year after graduating St. Rita High School) our vows were meaningless. In the few seconds we had together before greeting everyone we wondered why the preacher did not use what we wrote and instead went by the book.

After the pictures were done and most everyone was out of the building, I stormed into her office and screamed, "Why did you not use what we wrote? You embarassed me and my bride in front of our whole family!" She stated she did not find what we wrote appropriate. I yelled back, "Couldn't you have told me this before we were on the altar?" She said she did not look at what we wrote until just before the ceremony and decided then.

I slammed the door on the way out and discovered my wife was already being escorted out of the building my her mother who heard me and was trying to get her out of there. I grabbed her arm and told my mother in law, "She is with me now."

Why did we get married there as opposed to city hall? Having grown up and seen numerous weddings in a church I was wanting a similar one myself. Since the weddings of my wife's brother and sister were civil, I knew my mother-in-law wanted a nice looking one herself. Except for one problem the preacher solved, using her was not a good idea. Since then I have seen weddings at other places that were just fine.

Then the reception. There were discussions with music and all I wanted was a couple of specific songs played. I even allowed my wife to choose our first song though I had something I would rather hear. Heck, I wanted us to be introduced to the Weird Al instrumental Fun Zone but decided to not be assertive. Anyway, the individual numbers in the date of the wedding 6+1+2+9+9 add to 27 which has been on a Weird Al song on every album but his first and as of now has appeared on the cover of his last 3 CDs. On the book provided by the DJ, I marked songs I wanted to hear. Having seen him work an event on my wife's side of the family, I figured he was fine even though I would have preferred the person who did my sister's wedding.

At the recpetion, I notice a strange young face with the DJ equipment. Apparently the person that was hired sub contracted the job to a 20 something year old. I asked him if he has the list I marked and he assured me he will follow the instructions. After food, I walk on the dance floor with my bride and then hear the most awful voice in music by someone other than Whitney Houston. It was the first time I had ever even heard the song though I had heard other crap by that artist before. (Note: There is no way I would consider telling you the artist's name let alone the song. I have walked out of a grocery store leaving behind a cart of groceries when it was played on their PA system.)

I did manage to suffer through the dance trying to remember how happy I am supposed to be. I had just enough alcohol in me to be an asshole but not enough to feel drunk happy and I was in no mood to try to get that way. Eventually more music is played and I am just watching everyone who is between 15 and 25 on the dance floor as I wonder to myself, "What the hell is the DJ playing? I have never heard these songs in my life."

I followed current music until Whitney Houston embarassed the country before Super Bowl 25 and then got popular from it. Eight years later, I had never heard of people like Ricky Martin, Lou Berga or Marc Anthony nor the songs they did. Since I was taking pictures away from the dance floor during Mony Mony, the only non slow song after the first dance I was on the floor was the Hawaii 5-O theme since it was the only thing I knew.

The one person from my work who was there could tell I was upset and asked me what was up. I angrily explained to him that in spite of what he said before the reception and then me nicely asking him to play songs on my list, the DJ is not listening to me and is playing what he wants. Apparently my tirade was picked up by the microphone of the person video recording and she had to edit it from the video which I have only seen once and will never see AGAIN! I then asked my wife who was with me about a woman who was dancing that neither her nor I knew.

When I wrote a note to the DJ about it after we returned from the honeymoon, I found out my mother-in-law gave him specific instructions to not play what I wanted to hear.

Now, what could have been done? First of all, I made a mistake when I got involved with the profit sharing program at work. I had a clever idea to save money for the wedding. Once I knew I was going to marry her (which was a couple of months after we met) I had my work take as much as possible out of my check so I could get it back for the wedding. I then found out a couple of months before the wedding that once the money is taken out, I can't get it back. I was mis informed by the person who worked in that departement at that time.

The only other option for financing the wedding myself was to borrow. Since my wife was still in college at that time and had student loans to repay, I did not want to add an additional burdeon at the start possibly preventing us from having the ~~boy~~ child we wanted to have. Because of that, I had to relegate control to the person who could pay for it.

At the end of the reception, I confronted the DJ who was packing asking him why he did not play what I wanted. When he gave me a shrug, I had to be restrained and taken away by my brother in law and co worker since they did not want me to spend my wedding night in jail. I then realized the strange girl who was on the dance floor was his girlfriend who crashed the reception. That would explain why he was playing songs for the 15-25 crowd and not the 30s bride and groom.

The time to be assertive about the music was after the third of fourth song. Being nice and not getting assertive with him until the end was stupid. I had never heard the phrase passive agressive at that time but it definitely fit me that date and on many occasions since.

Now what have done in the almost 25% of my life since? I left the place bitter and angry and it stayed with me all honeymoon almost landing me in jail at Walt Disney World arguing over $80. I have been asked about forgiving or forgetting. I have never forgiven anyone unless they admitted to me their error and now, 11 years later, I have long since stopped waiting for an apology. Forget ... me? The person who was able to name 27 of the 28 players on the Stanley Cup Champion Blackhawks (missing one skater who played three games) and can if given a number from 1-44 recall the score, MVP, site and one thing 99.9% of people don't know or realize from that game. All I have been able to do is to move on.

Whenever a wedding is coming up for anyone, I advise people to NEVER give up control and borrow money if necessary to keep it.

A couple of years later, I reluctantly attended a wedding reception on her side of the family next to a farm across from the Joliet Motor Speedway. As it was a buffet, I let the other seven people from my wife's immediate family go first since I eat fast. When I was walking back to the table with food in my hand after talking to someone else, everyone at the table (just their table, no other one) including my wife had a glass raised and my mother-in-law said "to family". After a few seconds of disbelief, I decided it was best to eat in my car.

45 minutes later, my wife came to the car and asked me if I was done embarassing her family. After heated words, I was told her family did not include me in the table toast since I don't drink alcohol. Having to drive 45 minutes home after being with her family, I don't drink with them since my fast metabolism could create a problem for the drive home. Also, I do not want to create a problem with them by allowing alcohol to let me tell them what I have held back for years.

I decided this was time to show them I can drink. I chugged as much foul tasting Bud Light as I could handle and in spite of the food, I was drunk quickly. After the dancing started I would shout, "Hey one more decent song than was played at my wedding!" whenever a song I liked was played.

That night was the first time I ever heard the Cha Cha Slide and being 2002, I was still physically decent enough to join them on the dance floor. Hearing the phrase "Charlie Brown", I took two quick steps, swung my right leg launching myself into the air while screaming "AAUGGH" and landing on my back. I then got up to the shock of people there and finished the song. 90 minutes later, I was sober having given the portable toilets a good workout.

Being older than many of my friends, I have had the opportunity to be at four of their wedding receptions. One of them was similar to mine in structure. While watching the ceremony and reception, I had a surprise revelation. For many years, every thought about my wedding date was negative. All throughout the day while watching the ceremony and reception, I was able to recall good memories from my wedding day. Unfortunately, they returned to the recesses of my mind by the time I woke up the next day but now I know they are there. There is a wedding I will be attending later this year. Hopefully, the good memories of my wedding day will return and this time I will be waiting to not only relive them but to hopefully reassign them in the front of my mind so I can look upon that once in a lifetime day without complete regret and bitterness.

The most unusual wedding I saw was at my first con in 2002. The couple got married traditionally but had a second ceremony for fandom. Here is the bridal party picture:

The seven in front from left to right are the flower girl who the night before gave me a shot with her glass between her boobs and later that night ended up joining two ladies and a very lucky guy, the maid of honor, Dr. Demento, who gave away the bride, the happy couple, the best man wearing a Star Trek TNG outfit and Commander Data face paint, and the ring bearer who had the ring tied to one of the teats in the cow costume. In the back was the man who performed the ceremony wearing nothing but a loin cloth and a crown of thorns.

The world's game

2010-06-10T17:00:00.000-07:00

This weekend marks the start of the 2010 World Cup finals held in South Africa. Over the previous two years all the countries in the world which were interested (almost 200) had their teams play in qualifying matches to determine which 31 teams join the host country.

The 32 teams are divided into 8 groups of 4 teams each and the teams in each group play each other once. The best two teams in each group advance to a 16 team single elinination event and play until one country wins on July 11.

As with most international events, the host country has an distinct advantage. This chart explains how they have done since it was first held in 1930:

For 5 of the champions, 1 of the finals losers and 2 of the semi-final losers, the event as the host country is the best performance in the event. Also only one time has a team crossed the Atlantic Ocean to win the final and that team had Pele on its roster. (Note: The 2002 finals held in South Korea/Japan had Brazil win but I don't count that since all the South American and European power countries played over 6 time zones away from their home country.)

Though the home team has made the second round all 18 times, I can't see how the overmatched South Arfican club can advance in a difficult group with France Uruguay and Mexico.

Knowing that it is late fall and soon winter in South Africa right now, it will be in the 60s during the day and 50s in evening. Though rain is unlikely as it is also dry, I believe it benefits the northern European countries like England while hurting those used to hot weather like Spain and Brazil.

out of time

2010-06-03T17:00:00.000-07:00

Over Memorial Day weekend I was finally able to state I have seen every Dr. Who episode made from the first four seasons since the show was revived in 2005.

What took so long was my inability or desire to torrent the show as many I know have done. The fact people were able to see the show weeks if not months before it aired on tv made me not interested. I desiced to wait and see an edited version on my 37 in flat panel tv than on my 10 in circa 1998 computer monitor. I have only recently been told that through my XBox I could watch a torrent on my regular tv.

What also made it difficult was not having the ability to record from my tv until a couple of years ago so if I was not home when it aired on BBC TV, I missed it. By seeing episodes out of order I missed out of enjoying the story arcs that were created during each season as many times the clues to future events are given.

Anyway, this is how I saw them (including the specials):

Thanks go out to Mr Tuesday and i got nothing for allowing me to see the episodes on DVD.

finals time

2010-05-27T16:30:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend the Chicago Blackhawks won the NHL Western Conference championship and for the fifth time since 1967 the Clarence S. Campbell trophy which captain Johnathan Toews refused to hold knowing there was more hockey to play.

The trophy was initially given to the team with the best regular season record in the western conference which the Blackhawks had in 1971, 1972, and 1973 and later to the conference champion which the Hawks won on the same day Johnny Carson did his last show in 1992.

Knowing their opponent, the Philadelphia Flyers, were the seventh seed in the eastern conference and just like the NBA Chicago Bulls won 41 out of 82 regular season games including one on the last day to make the playoffs, people are already stating playing this series will be nothing but a formality. (Note: the Flyers record is listed as 41-35-6. The 6 stands for overtime losses and not ties as one point is awarded for an overtime loss since 1999 and a shootout was created in 2005 so no NHL game would end in a tie.)

It is not that uncommon for the team in the NHL playoffs without the home ice advantage to win in a seven game series as matchups and goaltending could make the difference. Since 2000, there have been 22 playoff series involving teams with a 10+ difference in wins and the lesser team has won 7 times including Montreal defeating Washington this year. Also, half of the 14 playoff series this year have been won by the team with the fewer regular season points including two by the Flyers and the Blackhawks in the conference finals even though they had more regular season wins than San Jose.

The NHL has a history of playoff upsets including Minnesota defeating the Blackhawks in the first round of the 1991 playoffs though the Blackhawks won 22 more regular season games.

Looking further back, this is the combined regular season record of the Blackhawks in the three seasons they won the title (1934, 1938, 1961):

When I posted about the Blackhawks in October, my concern about the team was goal tending. My initial thought was that if they could stop 90% of the shots in the playoffs, the team would be fine. Had that happened in the conference finals, San Jose would probably be up three games to one by Sunday afternoon. As long as Niemi and the rest of the team stays healthy, I do not see the Blackhawks needing more than five games to win the Stanley Cup. Hopefully, the team will play to their abilities and make this happen.

This is not what a Whammy Burger looks like on the menu

2010-05-21T17:00:00.000-07:00

As I stated when I posted about problems getting fast food, I have tried to not create problems since the people who work at these places are mostly people who can't get a job somewhere else. However recent issues have changed that.

When getting a kids meal on Tuesday, I noticed the price on the order screen was different than the menu. When I got to the cashier, I mentioned it along with the fact that it was the third time at three different locations within the past two weeks that I was being charged more than it listed on the menu. Here is a chart showing them: (note: The same thing also happened to me at a place near Penguicon in Detroit on May 2)

Her first reply was, "It is the tax."

My instinct as it was the previous two times the person told me this is as follows: To reach out of my car, grab the person by the neck and scream in their face, "I can see the cost listed on the order screen that exists for me to check orders and can easily tell when it is more than what is on the menu board. Even if the screen was not there, I know that if I purchase an item costs $4.19 in a town that has a 7.75 percent tax rate, the total will not be $4.62!"

Since I really did not want to argue over eleven cents, I showed her the camera phone pic I took of their menu board and she promised to have her supervisor look into it. I will be back today to see if it was changed.

I know that if I decided to eat at these places less often I would not only have less dealings with them but also would probably weigh less than I do. Maybe my current disgust with these places is my body's way of getting me to lose weight.

Note: A couple of days after the third time, I stopped at the place and the menu sign was not changed.

LOL gaming

2010-05-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

I initially wrote this in January but never posted it since there were topics on every week. As I did not think of anything this past Thursday, I was going to post this but did not get a chance. Here it is now:

While playing the last story in Left 4 Dead 2, (yes I finally got around to it) I noticed a jukebox that looked like it was working. I hit the action button and it took a disc and appropriately since I was in New Orleans the song "When the Saints Come Marchin' In." I tried it again and it changed to a couple of songs by the fictional group created for the game. The third time a very familiar tune started to play. "Re: your Brains". The Jonathan Coulton song I downloaded for Rock Band and have an autographed shirt with the lyrics.

I was laughing so hard, I needed to pause the game. Since the song is written from the point of view of a zombie and since the game was created by the same company that made Portal in which Jonathan Coulton wrote a song, I can see it happening. (I also discovered later that by hitting the jukebox, the Song "Still Alive" which was the song written for Portal will play.)

That got me thinking about other moments like that:

I enjoyed Grant Theft Auto before most people heard of it. The first two versions had an overhead view of the game and included a mission where you got a bus, picked up people, dropped them off at a hot dog processing plant, and delivered hot dogs among other new things like kill frenzies and finding out personally why someone was named El Burro (the donkey).

What got me was a mission where you had to show two hookers whose in charge. After getting the instructions on where to go and what to do, giant words appeared on the computer "Slap them Bitches". For some reason my wife did not think it was as funny.

When I was a kid, one cartoon I always watched was Wacky Races. It featured cars based on stereotypes such as cavemen, gangsters, soldiers, and a pretty but dumb woman. For some reason I liked the #9 car driven by Peter Perfect.

It was only recently watching the rerun on Boomerang at 7AM did I realize the car was shaped like a giant penis as it won a race as he was able to stretch out the front of the car after it was crunched.

Anyway, they created a Mario Cart type game based on the Wacky Races and I had to get it. When facing the 00 car of Dick Dastardly, as the time counted 3, 2, 1, it took off at the 2. I had always wondered since that car had a jet engine, why did he bother to try to mess up the other racers especially when he was in the lead anyway?

Shortly after the first Madden football game was made, EA created Mutant League Football. It was 7 on 7 featuring mutant replications of many current and past football teams featuring players like Reggie Fright, Joe Magician, LT Impaler and Bones Jackson. Players when hit too hard would break into pieces and even referees could end up as part of the carnage.

One of the plays allowed you to bribe the referee who would call phony penalties against the opponent. Of course it could be countered by killing the ref. One time after engaging the bribe ref, one of the players from the other team farted and the ref called a penalty for excessive gas.

Ok. Maybe it was not that funny or I guess you had to be there.

still not diabetic

2010-05-09T07:00:00.000-07:00

I have been told that I am diabetic for over 30 years though every blood test I have taken, including the three I have taken in the past twelve months, have stated that I am not. However, one ignorant person still insists that is the case.

Anyway, after explaining a couple of months ago that half the people on my cel phone contact list who are neither related nor work with me work in computers, I thought about making a chart to show it. It took me a couple of months to do so since sitting down on my computer has been painful with the muscles in my upper left leg initially injured in 1994 and reinjured when I had my knee surgery in July 2009. Having gone to the park district fitness center the past 6 weeks, the pain I had sitting down now occurs more while on the machines and not during the rest of the time.

Though the idea of running a 40 minute 5k in 2010 is still not likely, it was nice last Friday to be able to run past my daughter without a limp for the first time since I stepped on a hot dog in September 2008 or play kickball on Saturday without limping or stumbling around.

Anyway, here is the chart:

Computer people have jobs ranging from installing lines to writing software to the person you talk to when something goes wrong. Non computer jobs range from office to retail to performing music to one of Lord Farquaad's henchman at the Shrek 3D ride at Universal Studios Orlando.

Over the past 2 1/2 months, though I have added about 5 non computer names, the 50% claim I made in February was still not valid but the statement that I can contact someone who knows more than I do and possibly solve or diagnose a problem is valid. There are also people on my contact list who do not have a job with computers but are computer savvy including the people who put together the videos I have posted on this site and six music artists that use them to assemble and mix their songs.

Why I got a haircut

2010-05-03T05:00:00.000-07:00

On Sunday April 25, I was waiting for a call from my best friends Luke and Carrie to record a segment for their audio podcast called "Luke and Carrie's Bad Rapport" (www.badrapport.com) as a feature titled "Let's Call Ken" is a semi regular part of each episode.

When I got the call, I was asked to go to Luke's house to record in person and to bring my daughter with me. Confused, I saved the XBox game I was playing and drove 25 minutes. When I got there I realized what was up and this is the finished product: (Note, there is some adult language in the video)

(The Let's Call Ken segment starts at the 1:50 mark; no adult language in that part. The puppet of me appears in another part of the video starting at 5:10. That part is the one with a bad word stated about five times.)

As it premiered on May 1st live at the Penguicon convention in Troy, MI, I realized it would be best for me to match the puppet's haircut so that is why I got my hair cut when I did since I usually go to conventions with as long of hair as possible.

I took a picture with the puppet on the 24th. Once I get a copy, I will add it.

Note: The day I posted this I had to write a commercial invoice and this came to mind:

con travel

2010-04-29T17:00:00.000-07:00

I apologize for no post last week. After spraining my ankle stepping on the cat and with being busy and tired from work, I was not up to making a chart.

This weekend I will be driving to Troy, MI for Penguicon 2010. The con was created for open source programming (Linux) but to me it has become a great place to hang out with friends, to listen to music, to collect ribbons and to drink to the point where at 2:30 AM you are playing Guitar Hero against a person dressed as a Roman soldier as both of you are bellowing the lyrics to Free Bird. This year the music chairperson has over 15 hours of scheduled music planned and it should be a fun weekend.

I started to wonder how many times since I went to Marscon 2004 have I left the Chicago area for a convention and figured out this will be the 42nd time. The breakdown by state is as follows:

I did count Merillville, IN as outside the Chicago area since it took me 2 hours to get there on a Friday afternoon and the three Illinois ones in the chart are for one in Rockford and two near St. Louis. (the Chicago area con chart will be another post)

My attendence at those cons ranged from showing up to just to watch and help Luke Ski do a show to getting there on Thursday, staying four nights in a hotel and leaving Monday.

America's worst driver

2010-04-15T17:01:00.000-07:00

Until I was inspired on Tuesday, there was going to be no chart.

Here is a video clip from the April 17th show premiering on the Travel channel at 7PM central time. This features Chris and Timm Waffle, the members of the comedy band Hot Waffles.

In the picture of the group from Marscon posted last month, he is the one lying on the floor.

Family Circus style driving part 7

2010-04-15T17:00:00.001-07:00

This happened Tuesday evening. I got a phone call and had to drive 2 miles to help wife who had a car problem.

I had to go to the gas station and pay 6 bucks for a can since I was not comfortable pushing it over train tracks not knowing when the commuter train would arrive.

P.S. She did not realize there was a gas station there until I told her since she usually does not go to it.

P.P.S. She did not call me until after On Star said it would take 45 minutes for them to help her.

I did run out of gas one time in 1996. After working 4AM to 4PM and taking 90 minutes through normal Chicago area traffic for that time of day to drive home, I was so tired I left the engine running even though I locked the car door. It was not discovered until the next morning after a frantic search for the one set of car keys which was discovered in the ignition of the car which was no longer running after using the quarter tank of gas that was in it ten hours before.

two topics in one

2010-04-08T17:00:00.000-07:00

As it is 2010 and my year for the activity that distracts me from golf, my wife's recent participation in the Shamrock Shuffle inspired me to state that I could easily do a 5K run in 40 minutes. (In April 2009, I posted a chart called my circle of golf which explains why 2010 is my year of distraction. I can't get the Html to work correctly to provide a direct link)

The responses have mostly ranged from concern about me hurting myself to doubt, to laughter, and to stating that people who run 5 kilometer races generally don't eat vending machine cheeseburgers at nine in the morning. I decided to try to do it without telling anyone in my family so I can show them the result of me doing a 40 minute 5K and with many good things that happen in my life or any time I make an undisputable point get the awkward silent response from them.

Yes, the chart is based on about 3.1 X minues/mile. I would need to average 12:52 per mile to make it in 40 minutes.

I realized that to accomplish that goal that I would definitely need to train and since my legs mainly suffer from lack of fitness, I decided to join the park district fitness studio for three months and if I have not injured myself or got disgusted with it, to continue from there. I have realized that there will be pain in my life but if I work out there, the pain will only occur in that room and not every minute like it can happen now.

This Tuesday, I left work, changed into my decent gym shoes and shorts and went inside. I then realized over the next half hour that my fitness level is significantly worse than 2006 and my 40 minute goal is likely not going to happen.

At least I won't have a reason to try to overdo it. If this allows me to hurt less throughout the day, then it will be a benefit.

I also discovered that someone created a Facebook group about people who grew up at the park where I played tag football. Looking at pics I noticed one taken in 1990 of my former teammate who was the starting center of the team that won the 1986 championship.

A few years later we were on different teams and as he caught a point after touchdown conversion in the end zone I knocked him down as hard as I could in an effort to get my lethatgic teammates going. When he got up and punched me as hard as he could, the benches emptied.

Though he was tossed out of the game and suspended for the next one, we were ok with it. He was surprised that I knocked him down and that his punch did not knock me down let alone out. His teammates were pissed at me and the rematch would have been interesting had I not hurt my knee the following game.

The game after that I cost my team a touchdown on a kickoff by protecting myself instead of trying to fight through a block and realized that it was time to do something else.

Mom, don't listen

2010-03-31T17:00:00.000-07:00

Five years ago while talking to my mom on the phone, I advised her to not listen to the show I was doing that night since I knew the material would offend her. Of course having never listened to my show before she decided to listen that night.

After three tracks, she turned it off and told everyone in my family the horrible things I play on my show. The song "What Your Parents Think (all your music sounds like)" definitely applies to me as her opinion was warped by what I played that night. Granted, I stoop as low if not lower than anyone else as far as material played on my show but most shows are not completely ridden with songs and sketches full of profanities.

I decided afterward to dedicate the show that plays on a certain week in late March or April specifically towards songs which my mom should not listen and it has become one of the most listened shows I have during the year as people tune in specifically to hear the most religiously offensive and profane material I have. Listeners over the years have also suggested and e mailed songs to me that would work well with this theme.

This is a breakdown of what I am currently planning to play in the two hour show on Thursday, April 1 from 7-9 PM CDT. (other than three new ID tags): You can listen @ www.dementiaradio.org.

Note: I am planning on playing the most evil and corrupt song ever about 7:10PM. I have never played it before on my show and have only heard the full version once. I am going to try to hear it again.

the camera eye

2010-03-25T17:00:00.000-07:00

More than an eleven minute Rush song it is what captures the present where in the future the past will be recalled.

On this week when the historic health care bill was approved and signed by President Obama (the success of which will definitely define the success of the Obama's first term and possibly decide if there will be a second one) my thoughts about it have been asked since my political views are by me defined as chaotic neutral.

As I have stated in the past, I believe many of the problems with health care and in other fields would be solved if every overweight American would lose 10 percent of their weight. Of course implementing that would create more problems than it could possibly solve. (For me I could lose enough for two, now maybe three) By the time I am done with talking about that, people forget what they originally asked me.

In the past at Marscon, I have taken many pictures and the time after I get home have been spent editing and posting them to sites for others to see. Since my camera is busted and knowing a professional photographer will be taking pictures there along with many others, I knew it was not necessary for me to bring a camera this year.

Thanks to Facebook, I have been getting many notifications of pictures where I was tagged as being in it and comments being made about them. (Thanks to Baron Dave for this pic of me with my wife and Davroz for the group pic and his work and personal help in getting them posted.)

Yup, the 30% seems about right.

Fifteen different states represented. Others who were there did not make it for the picture.

Also past group pictures have been posted this week. After waking up Tuesday evening from a 3 1/2 hour nap I wobbled into the basement and looked at them being only one of three people who are in every one. As I did earlier this month when I was considering making a video montage of pics from past Marscons but realized I do not have the time nor the computer knowledge to make it look good, I noticed how heavier many of the guys and I now look. As my brain malfunctioned from the fatigue of working 10 days in a row and still being tired, I commented about how much weight everyone in the group has gained in the last 6 years. (I wanted to post the edited for content pic but it was too small when I tried to post it.)

As can be expected four of the six ladies in the pic took exception to that comment. Unlike me who physically fatigued and got fat instead of fighting it, they had lives to live.

My friendship with all but one of them started that weekend and I have watched as they have become wives and mothers and how they each overcame obstacles to become the wonderful people (well except for one) they now are.

I didn't mean to hurt anyone with that comment.

Attending by state

2010-03-18T17:00:00.000-07:00

My initial plan for the post after Marscon was showing where everyone traveled from and I was making notes.

I was surprised to discover the number of states where people left to either perform or watch music there.

Note about last week's post: Not all who joined others on stage had speaking or singing parts and some of them were in video form only including this one which premiered at the con:

www.baconnipples.com

2010-03-11T17:00:00.000-08:00

That is the website for the new sketch comedy collaboration Cirque du So What. It consists of four artists who have appeared at Marscon for the past four or more years. They talked about creating this in the past without producing much but early this year they realized since none of them have a new CD for the convention they decided to get together on a snowy weekend in upstate New York to recorded a whole bunch of pieces that were put together for a cd. On the ride home three of the cars were listening to it and when we stopped at a gas station in Menomonee, ten of us were quoting the cd in front of two very confused cashiers.

It has become common for people to record and perform songs together or to record parts and through e mail send them to be put together. One of the reasons Marscon is special is that certain combinations of performers only occur there. On the way home, Blasted Bill Putt, the man who started the internet radio station which I do my show, suggested I do this week's chart on the combinations done last weekend. Thanks to pictures taken and from memory, this is what I was able to determine.

I did colorize part of it since it got confusing. I did include the four occasions that generally did not involve speaking or singing on stage and those who appeared in a video that premiered there.

Note: Arrows mean that person or group appeared in that performance. The two ones without arrows signify they are members of that group. This does not include all who volunteered to dance on stage; just those who had a predetermined reason to be there.

P.S. Thanks to Insane Ian, Devo Spice, Holly Luckes, and Jace McLain for mentioning a couple of ones I missed. They along with one spelling error are fixed.

home

2010-03-08T22:00:00.001-08:00

123 hours after picking up someone at the Wood Dale Metra station, I finally arrived home from Marscon after dropping him at his house and getting home at 10PM Monday night.

I am happy to report that my wife and daughter on both trips were able to make them without incident and in less time than it took me since we had a caravan with 2 or 3 other cars which had one person who officially went into her second trimester on the ride home and needed to use the bathroom frequently. Note: As someone who shows symptoms for potentially needing Avodart, the more frequent stops made the use of an empty Coke bottle not necessary.

Though I was able to use the hotel free internet and look at this site, their filter did not allow me to log in being unable to post on it until I got home.

This video was taken on Saturday by Baron Dave Romm (the little girl is my daughter):

My December 22

2010-03-03T04:00:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I will be renting a van and driving to Bloomington, MN for Marscon 2010 featuring over a dozen comedy music acts who are traveling from both coasts and many places in between. I call it the 5 day trip that makes the other 360 tolerable and as someone stated this weekend is like my Christmas and I tend to agree though people were confused when I said Merry Christmas as I left work yesterday.

Over the past 6 weeks, I have talked about guiding my wife to Marscon. Compared to some people, our trips are short. Here are two maps showing the drives/rides 33 other people have to Marscon starting as early as today.

Note: The dark blue line from A-B is my trip. Since some of the people driving need to pick up others, the most direct route is not always taken.

I detailed the Chicago area as 5 other cars make their way specifically to my house to either ride with me, caravan with me, drop someone off at my house or meet others along with the route taken by the person I will pick up in my car.

There are 3 more cars with 4 people in the Chicago area and two other cars from outside the Chicago area who I know are going but do not know exactly where they start.

Since this post is about the long journeys people are making, I decided to not make a Minneapolis-St. Paul area map to show those who need to travel as little as 2.5 miles. Sorry.

The road to Marscon (part 4)

2010-02-25T17:00:00.000-08:00

This is the third and final part of posts made to guide my wife correctly from our house to Bloomington, MN for Marscon 2010.

Hudson, WI to Holiday Inn Select Bloomington, MN @ 3 Appletree Square (28 mi)

Route I-94 (10 mi) to I-494 (17 mi) exit at 1B 34th Ave south, turn left at Appletree Square.

Potential problem 1: I-94/I-494/I-694 exchange. Interstate 94 goes through downtown Minneapolis-St. Paul. There is a bypass expressway which generally forms a large rectangle around the area. The highway north of interstate 94 is called I-694 and the one south is called I-494. The exit for both bypass expressways is at the same place. The second exit is I-494, which is the route you need to take.

Potential problem 2: I-494/34th st exit. Once on interstate 494, the mile numbers will start to increase and since the exit is number 1B, it would not be unusual for someone to think they were going the wrong way. Once you pass the county line a couple of miles past Interstate 35E, the number will go back to 0.

There are 2 options; exit 1A and 1B. Both might state airport. Exit 1B will go straight until you get to a light where you will need to make a left turn onto 34th Ave. Note: someone who has gone to this hotel as often as I have last year took the 1A exit last year. You will see the Holiday Inn Express from the road and will need to turn left At Appletree Square. Parking for the hotel is in the upper half of the garage. If you are able to park at the top level, you will be able to enter the hotel on the second floor above the pool. I will know what room we are in when I get there on Thursday and will text you that information once I know it.

It would be best to call me once you get off the expressway so I can meet you to help with luggage and parking at the hotel first floor entrance.

The road to Marscon (part 3)

2010-02-18T17:00:00.000-08:00

Now that posts about the Super Bowl and Olympics are done, time to continue the guide I am writing for my wife who is planning on driving to Marscon with my daughter in two weeks.

Madison, WI to Hudson, WI (238 total miles)

Route: 90/94/39 (29 mi) 90/94 (63 mi) 94 (146 mi)

Route issues: On two occasions the expressway will split. The first is at Portage, WI. Interstate 39 splits from the interstate heading to north central Wisconsin. Stay on 90/94. Since the entrance ramps are confusing, I strongly recommend not exiting there either since getting back on the expressway going the correct direction is not simple from that stop.

Interstates 90 and 94 split at Tomah (about 45 miles north of the Wisconsin Dells). you will need to follow 94 and not 90. Once you pass Tomah, the mile marker number will go back up to 146 and count down from there since it will designate the miles from Minnesota border through 94 and not 90. If the mile marker number does not go back up, you took the wrong route.

Stopping: Once north of Madison, exits for the most part are less frequent. Also when traveling north past Madison, the road gets hilly and gas mileage will be about 10-15 percent less than expected. Do not wait until the last possible moment to fill the gas tank. As mentioned in the previous part, exits that have gas stations and places to eat that are visible from the road are much better to use.

I recommend the exits at the Wisconsin Dells, Black River Falls, Osseo, and Menomonie since they have easy on and off places to stop for gas and food along with Hudson which is the last recommended stop for the trip since the exits in Minnesota are urban and are not catered for travelers.

Depending on when the trip started, it might start to get dark outside. The road does have reflectors on it to guide at night and overhead lighting only at some exits.

Prerecorded babble

2010-02-15T06:43:00.000-08:00

The internet radio station which I do my weekly show now has a weekly podcast where anyone can listen any time. This week I am the host. I play 4 songs about buses and road trips in between my babble.

You can listen at:
href="http://dementiaradio.org/podcast/">

U$A! U$A!

2010-02-14T17:00:00.000-08:00

Thirty years ago this month I was a freshman at St. Rita High School in Chicago. One Friday night, the varsity basketball team (featuring the starting sophomore center who was my teammate in grammar school - yes, the team was good; one game was won 53-0) was hosting De La Salle H.S. which the year before finished 4th in the state. I talked my father into taking me and we sat in the balcony of the crowded, small gym and watched St Rita lose though my former classmate had 10 points.

As we were leaving the house my mom asked, "What about the game on tv?" I replied, "I don't want to see them get blown out by the Russians." As with most of the country, I did not know that a few hours before a team of American college hockey players and amateurs in spite of being outshot 39-16 defeated the Soviet Union Army team (considered the best in the world, including those in the NHL) in the Olympics. After the American broadcast of the game was shown that evening, an announcement was made in the gym during a time out the fourth quarter of the final score to the loudest cheer of the night. I remember being stunned. Since then, I have seen the game numerous times and every time I remember my words to my mom and the fact I missed it.

With how Americans hated the USSR at the time, the game was huge. I grew up in a world where the Communist nations were the bad guys in sports and it would seem that they would bend or break rules to win or intimidate officials to give them an unfair advantage.

After the Berlin Wall fell and the USSR broke up, things changed. I was initially happy that the United States got the chance to host international sports events. In 1999, the US hosted the Women's World Cup of soccer and the nation was tuned to the event especially the final where the American women defeated China on penalty kicks after 120 minutes of scoreless action. To me, winning the World Cup on the home field was no big deal knowing that in the men's version, that was common. (that will be the subject of a post in June)

Somewhere I heard people comparing the final to the 1980 "miracle on ice". That set me off. The Soviet Union team was put together by the government whose players went to special schools to hone their skills and only played for the national team where the US team was assembled a few months before that. Looking at the US Women's roster, I noticed something very disturbing. Over half that squad went to the University of North Carolina. We have become what the USSR was.

The 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City confirmed things for me. Granted, there was US sympathy after 9/11 but watching some events made me ill. Seeing a short track speed skater wrongly DQ so an American wins an event was wrong. The women's hockey finals was the most one sided officiated game I have even seen. I still can't believe how the Canadian team was able to defeat Candy Granato and the rest of the thugs who felt it was their right to get the gold. (My sister who was at the 1998 tryouts confirmed their attitude)

What was worst was the pairs figure skating. A French judge purposely favored a Russian couple over a Canadian couple who most stated did better. It was discovered that an agreement with another judge was made so the Russian couple would get placed first. Once it was discovered, dual gold medals were awarded as the French judge's scores were declared invalid as pressure by the American tv coverage forced the skating hierarchy to make that decision. I had a question that was never asked. Four other judges gave the Russian couple a better score than the Canadian couple. Why weren't their scores challenged too?

I also noticed that the US had more medals than the previous time they hosted in 1980 and that many were in events that were not in the 1980 games. This chart explains:

To my surprise, the amount of medals from added events was not as large as expected even though it was higher than events that existed in 1980. I still believe many of the newer events were added to give the US more medals so the olympics would a higher bid for tv rights by US networks.

The youth of the world

2010-02-09T17:00:00.000-08:00

Now that is it February, the youth of the world will be descending on Vancouver, BC, Canada for the 21st Winter Olympics games.

Having watched the Olympics for a long time, I have detested the overly large amount of tv coverage focused on performance events where a person (couple, or group) gets an score from a group of "expert judges" based on technique, style and artistic impression.

To me that is not a sport, I have always held strong to the belief that sport is a yes/no proposition and though it might be entertaining, by definition, it is not a sport. There have been many occasions where the integrity of the people judging events have been questioned but more on that in the next post.

There are events that fall into a gray area as judges give athletes a score based on a 1 to 5 second trick. Within that time frame, I believe it is possible to accurately access tricks one at a time. However, since a score is given, it falls into the gray area.

Here is a chart that describes the 86 events being held by type:

Time: Each person competes on a course. Fastest time on it wins. (Alpine skiing, luge, bobsled, skeleton, most speed skating, some cross country, some biathlon)

Placing: Four or more people or teams compete at the same time. First person to cross the finish line wins. (Note: There can be qualifying and non final races where players get eliminated) (short track speed skating, team and some individual cross country and biathlon, skiing cross and snowboard cross)

Match: Teams or individuals compete one on one until all but one is eliminated or one wins a final. (hockey, curling, snowboard Giant Slalom, speed skating pursuit)

Form: Players (or groups of) are judged one at a time for a 1 to 5 second interval and given a score. Best score wins. (ski jumping, aerials)

Performance: Players (or pairs) get a score by judges based on a 30 second to 5 minute performance. (figure skating, half pipe)

Combo: Nordic combined (half ski jumping, half cross country) and moguls (score based on time, form and performance)

Halftime show

2010-02-07T19:21:00.000-08:00

As promised:

Bologna, and bread!

2010-02-04T17:00:00.000-08:00

Sunday marks Super Bowl XLIV and when people ask who I want to win, I reply, ME! As customary, I am in a couple of pools based on the scores of the game at the end of quarters and at the end of the game.

This chart shows my chance of profiting:

As far as the game itself, I really don't care for either team (in spite of the fact that for the first time in over 15 years the two number one seeds are playing in it), but I will be watching except for the halftime show when half of The Who (the ones who did not die before they got old) performs a medley of their songs while I play versions of the songs on a plastic guitar. If I can set it up, I will either stream it live or record it for You Tube.

Since both teams play home games in domes and will be playing the game outside on grass, I expect the start of the game to have a lot of missed opportunities due to timing being different playing on grass especially if the weather is not perfect (like the last one played there). If I would gamble on the game itself, I would bet money the game will have less than 57 total points scored.

I figure the game will go into overtime due to a missed field goal at the end and one team will score an overtime touchdown to win 30-24.

Since I do not know what numbers I have while writing this, I do not know if I will win if that happens.

FYI: The title of the post was exclaimed by Barney Gumble while looking at the Super Bowl free food at Moe's Bar on an early Simpsons episode.

The road to Marscon (part 2)

2010-01-28T17:00:00.000-08:00

I am writing this as a guide for my wife who will be driving to Marscon with my kid:

Section one: Wood Dale, IL to Madison, WI (121 miles)

Route: I-290 west (5 miles) to I-90 west (50 miles) to I-90/I-39 (66 miles)

route issue: I-290/I-90 junction. Interstate 290 expands to as many as 5 lanes at this point. The left three lanes bypass the exit; stay on the right side. There are three exits on the right. The second one is Interstate 90 west. After doing a 270 degree turn you will be on the Northwest (now called Jane Addams) tollway through most of Illinois.

All tollbooths now allow IPass so if you are on the correct side when passing a toll booth you will not need to stop.

Stopping: Some exits on the tollway do not have an entrance ramp going in the same direction. There are signs posted mentioning that. In Belvedere, half way between Rockford and 290 there is an oasis which has gas, toilets and places to get food.

In Wisconsin, the biggest concern about stopping is making sure there is a place near the expressway to stop. The rest areas only have toilets and vending machines. Exits which have food and gas do have blue information signs about a half mile from them. However, it is highly recommended to stop at an exit which has the places just off the exit. Some places are up to 2 miles away. Also make sure when getting back on the expressway to take the correct direction. (West heading to Bloomington, east heading home).

The road to Marscon (part 1)

2010-01-21T17:00:00.000-08:00

My wife and I have been talking about her and my daughter going to the Bloomington, MN Holiday Inn Select on the first weekend of March to join me at the Marscon sci-fi convention which features comedy music performed by artists who travel from both coasts and points in between.

In the past when my wife would go, she would fly since it would be quicker for her and not that much more expensive than driving. With taking the kid, that would double the airfare cost without considering the luggage fees airlines now charge.

Last night before we went to sleep, my wife stated she could drive. Though it would save $200 over two air fares, I am hesitant to let her do that and really don't want to give up 60 hours of my con experience time to drive them myself since I would not get to the con until Friday at 6PM and would have to leave the con Sunday at noon to get my kid home at a decent time so she can go to school on Monday. note: When I ride with my friends, the con starts when we leave my house and ends when we return. It is not the same riding with my wife and daughter.

Why am I hesitant to let my wife drive to the con with only the kid? Look up my entries titled Family Circus Style Driving. A week ago Saturday, it took her two hours to get home from Glenview, twenty miles away.

This is the route of the almost 400 mile trip from my house to Marscon which I have driven the past 4 years and have taken to the twin cities about 30 times since 1990:

I will need to put together a guide for my wife for the trip.

One minute at a time

2010-01-14T17:00:00.000-08:00

The only game I play on Facebook is their one minute version of Bejeweled; considered as one of the ten most significant games made during the last decade. My sisters and cousins try to beat my weekly score and usually fail like what I scored last Sunday night:

I decided that was the last game I am going to play of it.

All in a name

2010-01-07T18:08:00.000-08:00

For the New Years Eve parties I attended, I brought my Rock Band for entertainment. To make things easier, I decided to put all the songs I have in the game on lists similar to what happens in karaoke. I first put them in song title order, then used that list to make another one in artist order.

What made the task more difficult that it sounds was using my daughter's computer which I now keep in the front room so she has a better wireless signal and so I can keep an eye on what she does. I would have to look at the tv and then turn to my left to enter the info.

I also discovered the artists in Rock Band are arranged by first name and the word "the" is overlooked in putting groups in Alpha order while trying to make the order of artists in the artist list match the one in the game. When doing it I noticed errors in the artist listing and fixed them:

The worst part was that I changed the artist listing but not the spelling before printing the copies. I found that out when someone asked about the band Leonard Skinnard.

group therapy

2009-12-29T19:00:00.000-08:00

Moderator: Good evening and welcome to this support group for people who have unusual addictions. There are coffee and donuts in the back. Please help yourself to them. We will start with the person on my left and continue in a circle. Please introduce yourself and state why you are here:

"Hi, my name is Ken."

Group: Hi Ken.

Moderator: and why are you here this evening?:

Ken: I became an addict of the board game Scrabble and as of this weekend, it has been three years since my last game.

Group (many with confused looks on their faces): *quiet clapping*

M: That is very unusual and I see why you are here. Can you explain how you got addicted to Scrabble, a board game that is supposed to be fun?

K: After I injured myself bowling in February 1994, I needed something to supplement the competitive juices that I missed. My first intentions were fun but since my memory is so vibrant, I got good fast. By 1998 inspired by a tournament win the previous October, my game got to the point where I entered the National Scrabble Championship since it was in downtown Chicago. However due to bad play, bad luck, and inexperience, things went far worse that I could ever imagine:

All games are head to head. Winner is person with best win-loss record after 31 games with total point differential used as a tiebreaker.

I finished in 128th place out of 133. One person got sick late Wednesday and that is why I got two forfeit wins. When the last game was played by the champion on table number 1, I was on table number 66.

M: That had to have been a huge disappointment. What did you do after?

K: Seeing where I ranked compared to the best of the game and knowing that I was unable to get to that point, I instead became a club and tournament director. I saw many problems and unfair practices that other directors shown and wanted to make things better focusing things on that and reported bad practices to the association. However, people didn't care how badly they were getting screwed over by people supporting the top 5% of players and I never got any real support for my cause. I did run some tournaments but after three people I cared most about seeing play in my tournaments died due to AIDS, MS and old age, I decided to stop hosting them.

M: Sad. Were there any good moments?

K: A few. One time in a club I played the person who won the National and eventually World championship and with him tired and distracted and with good draws, I did beat him. Another time I ended someone's 35 game club winning streak. However, all that just raised my expectations and created more frustration for me when things did not go well.

M: I see; what happened next?

K: One night when I was out of town, my wife accidentally erased three years of club stats off my computer hard drive and another time my daughter ruined my hard copies stepping on them in the car on a snowy day. After that, the desire to run a club was gone. In spite of me expressing me that lack of desire, I was coaxed into still running things though I had no ambition or desire to do more than the bare minimum.

As I became a husband and a father, and later a fan and participant of comedy music, I had less time to devote to playing and studying Scrabble and it eventually started to show in my play. There was one time where I almost got kicked out of a tournament as my frustrations showed and playing Scrabble started to take a toll on me mentally. It got to the point where I would see any writing, sign or billboard and immediately try to rearrange the letters in it.

M: It makes sense that personal life would take away from other things.

K: The worst one was after my daughter kept me up much of the night before a tournament where I played horrible. A year before that, I realized my level of play was equivalent to the quality of sleep the night before. When I got home and my daughter made noise, I came as close as possible to doing something really bad to her. I had to gently put her down and walk out of the house.

G: *gasps*

M: Oh my.

K: When two people I called out about unfair tournament practices got a standing ovation as they were inducted into an area "Hall of Fame" at a tournament I attended, I realized it was time to stop.

M: So you walked away? Did you tell anyone?

K: No, I just stopped going to the club and eventually someone called and I told her I could not play anymore.

M: In the past three years, have you missed it?

K: In some ways I do. I still remember interesting things that happened at clubs and tournaments. I do occasionally play word games on line and even Scrabble once or twice but never played the board game which has sat in the same spot in my basement for three years untouched.

Late last summer, I got an invite to come back and a schedule of my former club's events. One time I even made the trip to the club but as I started down the stairs I heard the sounds of the tiles, paused, and left without saying hi to anyone.

M: Thanks. Who's next?

A Madman Christmas Carol (excerpt four)

2009-12-25T04:18:00.000-08:00

From chapter 5

After a trip to the bathroom. he saw a figure dressed in a simple suit sitting on one couch and gesturing with his hand said, "Greetings, sit here."

"Carl ... Sagan? The man whose presentation of facts and philosophy caused me to question my religious beliefs and eventually decide to abandon the lies of the church."

"Yes, but you know that. Why did you just day it?"

"You died in 1996; not everyone knows who you are."

"Sigh. Anyway, I am here to show you your past; that what you are now is not what you were and that you can't change it since it would affect who you are."

"What? I do remember who I was. My biggest problem with that is I don't forget things."

"Still. I am here to show you your past holiday seasons."

******

"Pay attention." The ghostly figure of Carl Sagan points towards the tv and it kicks into action. Ken grabs the remote to change the channel but realizes he has no control of what is being displayed.

It shows a bunch of people sitting around a console tv set in a smoke filled room. Ken focuses his attention and realizes it is his grandmother's house with versions of his now deceased uncles most of whom have either a cigar or a cigarette in one hand and an Old Style beer in the other. He also sees his father who appears eerily similar to him as his age at that time is what Ken's age is now. Looking at his father's comparatively thinner body, Ken defending himself states, "If I smoked 2-3 packs of Lucky's a day, I would be as thin as he is."

He then hears the announcer on tv " ... with Stenerud missing a game winning 22 yard field goal attempt, this playoff game is going into overtime; coach Stram can't believe what just happened."

With his jaw open, Ken replies, "1971. Municipal Stadium, Kansas City, Missouri. The day I became a fan of the Miami Dolphins. Larry Csonka's 25th birthday." He then notices a six year old kid sitting on the floor watching the game asking questions about it. "I was very chatty; wanted to know as much as I could. Still do." He smiles. "I didn't realize how close that first missed kick was."

The ghost of Carl Sagan responds, "You see how changing one little thing in the past could affect the present. You could have become a Chiefs fan." Ken shakes in fear at what was said.

Now the view on the tv set changes as the announcer states " ... and Garo Yepremian's 37 yard field goal ends the longest game in NFL history as the Miami Dolphins advance to the AFC championship with the 27-24 win over the Kansas City Chiefs. They will face the winner of tomorrow's Baltimore Colts Cleveland Browns game tomorrow to decide the AFC championship."

ID time

2009-12-17T17:00:00.000-08:00

During my show on Dementia Radio on Thursdays from 7PM to 8PM central time which reaches the 5 year anniversary as this post is made public, I will play at least once per half hour an ID tag that I create with a program called Goldwave. Initially I created a basic one to play and used it for a while.

After an interview I did on the Dementia Radio Saturday show called Revenge of the Particle where I was "apprehended" by "agent Luke Bauer" before I was going to sing live on the air, I took excerpts from it to add to the ID tag. Inspired by the positive reaction I got playing it, I decided to create more of them whenever I got an idea to put into it and also created other ones. Also I have gotten ID tags made by others for my show as I have done some for theirs. The sources for them are in this chart: (Note: Id tags for the station itself are not included)

Done at my house: Entire content recorded on my computer

By others: As stated, by other people who sent them to me.

Added item recorded live: A sound byte from a live show on Dementia Radio

Added item from tv, song, movie: From either a tv show, song or movie

Added item other source: Two You Tube clips, one podcast, one website

Thirty two is a lot and with playing general station ID tags and some tags for specific times of the year or special occasions, there are some I hardly play at all. Maybe I can find a way to play all of them in a row one time. :)

Mall Santa Quiz time

2009-12-16T07:16:00.001-08:00

Here is a holiday quiz:

In which tv series, tv special, or movie did Santa or the person dressed as him...

1. was born, became an outlaw, break out of jail, and end up setting up his operations at the north pole?
2. fall off a roof and break his neck?
3. was sick and replaced by the Jewish version?
4. condone a girl not returning an article of clothing lost by a man?
5. had his existance proven by the Unites States Postal Service?
6. perform a lounge act holiday medley of songs with "Jesus"?
7. gave a toddler a box of plutonium?
8. try to rob a mall while drunk?
9. save the world from an alien invasion?
10. suffer a fatal heart attack while visiting sick kids in a hospital?
11. gave a bell that fell off his sleigh as the first Christmas present?
12. advise a child that a specific toy he wanted is dangerous?
13. added a physically challenged member to his team and gave away defective toys?
14. allow two creative kids, their sister, a couple of their friends and a troop of girl scout knockoffs to deliver presents to a town?
15. lose his paycheck betting on a dog then adopted it.
16. get replaced by a fat man who usually wears nothing but a leopard skin loin cloth?
17. watch two members from Dragon Ball Z and Rudolph destroy a possessed Mrs Claus?
18. was rescued by a penguin after being stranded in his sleigh on a pond?
19. terrorize people after being built in the year 2801 and joined forces with Kwanzabot and the Chanukah Zombie?
20. was put on trial for committing hit and run of an old lady?
21. steal all the presents and decorations in a town only to return them a couple of hours later?
22. try to kill the last known member of an alien race whose members have two hearts?
23. got beat up by an angry kid in a mall?

Answers:

1. Santa Claus is Comin' to Town (1970)

2. The Santa Clause (1994)

3. Saturday Night Live - The Night Hannukah Harry Saves Christmas (1989)

4. Frosty the Snowman (1969)

5. Miracle on 34th St. (1947)

6. South Park - Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics (1999)

7. A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas (2001)

8. Bad Santa (2003)

9. Santa Claus conquers the Martians (1964)

10. St Elsewhere - Santa Claus is Dead (1985)

11. The Polar Express (2004)

12. A Christmas Story (1983)

13. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (1964)

14. Phineas ans Ferb Christmas Vacation (2009)

15. Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire (1989)

16. A Flintstone Christmas (1977)

17. Robot Chicken Christmas (2007)

18. A Wish For Wings That Work (1991)

19. Futurama - Xmas Story (1999)

20. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer (2000) (a direct to TV video was made)

21. How The Grinch Stole Christmas (1966)

22. Doctor Who - The Christmas Invasion (2005)

23. The Boondocks - A Huey Freeman Chrsitmas (2005)

A Madman Christmas Carol (excerpt three)

2009-12-10T17:00:00.000-08:00

If you have not read my disclaimer please read this first: http://notnormalworld.blogspot.com/2009/11/clearing-brain.html

From chapter 3:

December 24th at his mother's house though less uncomfortable than the following day at his in-law's is still something Ken dreads. Squeezing 15 people in a house made for at the most 4 is not his idea of fun. While sitting on the bed in the front room that is used by his father he ends up talking with his brothers-in-law (and one other person who always seems to be part of the family functions and has no where else to go) about fantasy football. "As expected, my team is in the title game again and after this TOUCHDOWN! I believe my team is a winner. So when will I get my money?" Ken asks his brother-in-law.

"What do you mean expected? You have not won in a while and you only are going to win this year because you got lucky with a draft pick in the 11th round."

"Since this is the first time in the past three years the draft was held on a day that I could make it and I was not violently ill I knew I would have the best team and unlike the time before when other teams colluded to prevent me from winning, it did not work."

"As I said, there was no collusion; they were just negligent with taking care of their teams and it hasn't happened since. Can I give you the money New Year's Eve?"

"That will be fine. I believe that had I not called out the league then it would have happened this year too. I do appreciate your efforts when I noticed discrepancies with other team's lineups."

******

In the kitchen where his wife was talking to his mom and sister, "When I walked in you were talking about what game to play after opening presents. I did bring a couple of ones I got including the one I texted you from Gencon Indianapolis about getting to see if it would work well here."

"It's ok," Ken's sister replied. "We'll be fine with what we have."

"It does not involve trivia and it is something no one can accuse me of cheating even though I don't."

"What do you mean you don't cheat?" Ken's wife chimes in.

"I don't need to cheat."

"That baseball trivia question you answered so fast. You had to have looked at the card before."

"You think I need to look ahead at a question involving BASEBALL?" Ken emphasizes. "The question itself led to only one answer and since I had the crafty Arizona Diamondbacks left handed pitcher Brian Anderson on my fantasy baseball team in 2003 when he missed a start after playing too many video games, I knew it and answered right away."

"I still don't know why Randy Johnson is not considered a crafty pitcher."

"Randy Johnson threw the ball 95 miles per hour. That makes him a power pitcher, not a crafty one. I have told you that many times in the last three years."

"I have never heard the word crafty ever used in describing a pitcher."

"That is because like most Cubs fans you don't understand a thing about baseball!" Ken angrily replied as his wife stormed out of the room.

Returning his attention to his mom and sister, "It takes a lot of nerve to state 'wheel' is not a valid answer to 'things in the sky' in Scattegories by claiming a wheel is not a tangible object in the sky when you have St. William on your sheet!" Ken proclaims while grabbing a celery stick and heading back to watch the football game.